gottawonder

Today I am grateful for:

Good sleep.

Some time with my Sweetie before leaping into action.

Then we leapt into action.

My Sweetie did the dishes. I started quinoa, then started (later finished) the dense salad for lunches. I washed dog diapers. We folded and put away clothes.

I changed the cat litter and then swept the floors.

My Sweetie found the length of PEX tubing to make a larger hoop for L at the barn.

He also put the screen door back on the North entrance, where it has long been absent.

He pulled more carrots, and you know, I think they grew quite a lot more in the last month or so. They're very sweet, since we had some frosts.

He washed them and put them in the "salad fridge", which has quite a lot of carrots in it right now.

He also pulled some beets.

After chores and such (more picking up things that were displaced for pouring concrete being returned to their places), I headed to the barn.

River was sore today, it seems to be his right shoulder. So we took it easy and didn't do much. Some walking, some massage, some stretching.

L had wanted to do some video today for stuff she posts for the barn page, so it was a little disappointing.

I gave her the larger hoop, and she thinks THIS will be big enough for Pickles to jump through, and I hope it works out.

I tried to hula with it, and actually managed to do it for a while!

Then I came home, and my Sweetie had supper ready (garden veggies!).

We watched an episode of "Sopranos".

Today I am grateful for:

Good sleep.

Doing some of the many small but useful things that need doing. Dishes. Laundry. Hand washing some of my summer clothes to put them away for the winter.

I did chores outside, and tried to clean up some of the plastic shreds from cutting the deck boards (they're made mostly of recycled plastic) on the driveway, but it's pretty tough not to pick up all the gravel when doing so.

I went to the barn to see River. He was very tired and pokey today, and his breathing seemed not great when we started but better by the end of our work. That oddly happens sometimes.

He was still pretty soft today in the back up and yields, even if he didn't have a lot of oomph.

Then I stayed for the young woman's lesson. She was in a funny mood today because she wanted to wear her new mitts at the barn, but her parents said no.

It's a funny situation. This young woman is in her early 20's, and she's smart, but her life of being cared for by her parents makes her seem like she's a teen. I don't know that she would ever be able to look after herself, even though to me she seems intelligent. She doesn't seem emotionally mature, but is that because of how she's been raised?

I wonder if she looks at people like L, who is close to her age, and was a child at the same time (she's been taking lessons for about 8 years now), and is now an adult, and wonders how that happened.

It must be frustrating to have people telling her what she can and can't do, and I wonder if they always SHOULD be telling her what to do.

I worked with Ferrari, and we had a good session. He's a very sweet horse, if almost TOO eager to please.

I came home and my Sweetie had supper ready (Yay!).

We watched a good movie, "Bankers".

I did go out late last night and spend some time in the pottery studio. I had some success with throwing, at least.

Today I am grateful for:

Good sleep.

I didn't go outside or anything until I absolutely had to, since the wind was howling all day long.

When I did go to do chores, it was pretty unpleasant.

I did text R to see if we would be able to have a lesson (it was that bad), I didn't get a reply until I was already on my way.

We did end up having a lesson, and the wind continued to howl. River did great in the indoor arena, ignoring the wind whipping the arena cover and rattling the doors.

We had a good lesson, working on exercises to improve his back up and to get more lightness (always more lightness).

Our ridden work was about going forward, and then trying for collection. We did get some collection, though at this stage he can't hold it for very long.

River did work hard today, and I am proud of how much he tries, and that he could even focus with all the wind going on.

My Sweetie met me at the barn, we left my car at the barn for the time being, and we drove in his car to the town where our "early poll station" was located. Neither one of us had ever even been to that town before, as there is really no reason to go there.

The polling station is located in a community center, and there were LOTS and LOTS of people there. The people working there said it had been very, very busy all day long.

I'm thinking we are going to get a record voter turnout for this stupid referendum, and I hope that it is conclusive enough that we can settle these issues,....but I bet Smith is going to just keep stirring the pot.

The questions themselves are all so awful and racist, and not really even plausible (as in, there's just no way we would ever be able to make the changes she's proposing in the questions. They would require us to be a separate country first, and separation would not be a simple or fast process were it to happen, so why ask those questions first?). Several of the questions were just blatantly out of the sphere of a province to decide, so a waste of our time and money.

The whole thing is awful. Yet, I bet there's going to be enough idiots willing to say yes to some of the questions that Smith can keep rattling the cages and keep everyone angry.

Sigh.

I'm glad we voted. It's been really on my mind, and I was so worried that there would be some glitch in my I.D. or something that I'd get turned away, or that I would mess up my ballots. I'm fairly sure I did everything correctly, and at least I've done what I can.

We had to stand there for about 45 minutes before we could vote, as the line was pretty long, and the process for this referendum seemed pretty slow. Well, it IS ten separate questions.

We drove back to my car, then we headed home.

It was late enough by then that my Sweetie had to head straight to bed.

Today I am grateful for:

Okay sleep, but good to be up a tad bit earlier.

I wanted to be able to get to the pottery studio earlier today, as a person was going to be waiting with the paper we need to sign to have access to the code for the front door of the building.

I did chores first, and talked to my Sweetie (hands free) for a while as he was driving.

The weather was nicer today. Sunny and clear, but still pretty cool.

I headed to town and made it to the studio in reasonable time.

I sighed a bit over the unnecessarily hostile language of the craft center agreement, which listed things like "do not abuse members of the Rosehaven staff" (the people who work at the senior's residence part of the building, and aggressively detailed descriptions of how to clean up after yourself, and on and on.

It makes you feel like a child to be told things like that, in a way that suggests that you would ABSOLUTELY abuse staff and leave a mess, and do all kinds of rude and horrible things except for this piece of paper. That one piece of paper that says all the evil things you were plotting are off limits.

Sigh.

On top of that, the woman who was there for me to sign the agreement went on to TELL ME TO CLEAN UP AFTER MYSELF PROPERLY as she was leaving.

Dear lord. Do I look like a troll? Do I look like I am a rebel, a teenage dropout, a vandal, a member of a roving horde of barbarians?

I have been attending this studio for eleven years now, and I ALWAYS CLEAN UP AFTER MYSELF. In fact, I often spend extra time cleaning things that other people have missed.

The obsession with cleanliness in this studio surpasses any actual focus to make pottery there. Their real goal is to obsessively clean the studio as an exercise. It's ridiculous.

Anyhow. I was using a similar white clay to the stuff I'm trying to throw at home. It's very hard to throw, and I struggle with it. I threw several more failures, and ended up sadly with one bowl that may or may not make the cut when I come back to trim it.

If I ever get the hang of throwing with this clay I will likely achieve some elevated level of pottery, the equivalent of a black belt. Hi-ya!

I talked with my Sweetie again for a while in the parking lot, just to give him some mental stimulation. It's a loooong drive.

Then I went to Winner's, looked at the same sweater I looked at a while ago, still liked it, but still recognizing that I have many, many nice sweaters at home. Also that I don't wear sweaters a lot.

I did find a very nice blue velvet cushion.

There was a family there, that looked to be the very elderly grandmother, her middle aged adult daughter, and probably the youngish grand daughter who was maybe in her 20's. They were remarkable in that they really came across as, if possible NOT be be mean-spirited, but straight up odd ducks. VERY ODD DUCKS. Kind of hillbillies, and VERY ODD.

They did seem delighted to be shopping, and I hope they had a wonderful time together and found what they wanted/needed.

There was a tiny, elfin young woman at the check out, and I did have to mention with delight that she was very little, in a way that hopefully didn't insult her. I find tiny people to be kind of adorable because I am kind of large. Not because I think they are like children, but just...remarkable? She probably hates people remarking on her being tiny, and I hope I was respectful about it.

Then I got groceries, not a huge haul this time but still necessary. I am grateful as always to have the means to do so, the physical ability, and so on.

I got home, brought everything inside and put it away, and talked with my Sweetie some more until he was nearly home. It's such a long drive.

He came in, the animals all went nuts for a while, and he sat and we visited for a while before he went to bed. He didn't want to go straight to sleep, as that sensation of still driving/moving stays with you for a while.

Today I am grateful for:

Good sleep.

A warm house. It's been snowing all day today. Melting as it hits the ground, but snowing.

So it's cold. Not quite freezing, but cold.

I felt kind of petulant about the weather being so bad this early, and bored because my Sweetie is away, but what can you do.

I washed dog diapers, washed the dishes, and vacuumed. I did animal care/chores.

I spent a fair amount of time on the phone with friend D, which was a nice distraction.

I did speak with my Sweetie in the afternoon, they all went somewhere for lunch, and then were going to spend the evening with his sister and her husband.

I decided to FINALLY go to the pottery studio and mess around. The building was cold and it actually warmed up pretty quickly with the heater turned on.

I threw over and over again, but wasn't happy enough to keep anything. One vase I kept, but I don't know. I was throwing with a porcelain clay that's very tricky to work with, as it gets too soft after a while and collapses if you take too long to throw something.

Still, it was better than sitting around being bored. It's nice just to throw, and it often takes a few sessions for me to throw better again after a long break.

I talked with my Sweetie again before he went to bed. He said they had a nice evening, played some cribbage.

I found "Cannibals! The Musical" by the guys who write South Park on YouTube, and it was a lot of fun.

Last night I watched "Moulin Rouge", and even though I've watched it a few times before, as I get older I think I'm paying more attention to how movies look and the quality of the performances, etc. and I really was blown away by what a good movie that is. I wonder if we'll ever see anything like that again, made with real people and real sets with real singing to that degree of excellence.

Today I am grateful for:

Having a bed to sleep in, even if I don't get to sleep properly. The guys came to work, which is great, but also noisy. It makes the cats wake up and think "it's time". Sigh.

I got up and did very little. Some dishes. Washed dog diapers.

I got a call from a person at the bank wondering if we're coming in to talk about our mortgage, which will come due for renewal in November. That will require my husband being able to get to a bank during business hours, which won't be easy.

I went outside to see how the deck is progressing. It actually looks very well made, but I honestly don't like the overall design, and how it's panning out, even though I guess I was informed of the dimensions.

The deck on the ground is large, but the stairs coming down from the door on the main floor (which is off the ground by about five/six feet because of the basement being partly above ground) just cut the entire deck in two.

Literally. There is a small deck right at the door, which I guess I knew would be there, and it projects about a third of the way into the other deck's breadth. Then the stairs come down in fairly low risers, which is great, but the whole thing is massive, and it comes all the way across the deck underneath and ends pretty much at the end of the deck, leaving a small path at the bottom that is all you have to walk from one side of the deck to the other.

That is not how I imagined it. I did not think the steps would completely bisect the deck like that. It kind of defeats the purpose of having a big deck. What we actually have is two smaller decks with a set of stairs coming down between them.

It's pointless. What are we going to do, have a seating area on one side of the deck, and not bother doing anything at all on the other side because you can't even see it from the side with the seating?

Plus, now that I see the sheer size of the deck, and how much space the stairs take up, I can't even see how it would benefit from having a roof. We were going to extend the roof of the house over it when we tinned it, but now that I see it, the roof would seem claustrophobic. Somehow, with the stairs, it just doesn't work at all.

It's disappointing. And expensive. And not really fixable. The stairs are built, and we need stairs there. We have to have stairs. The deck was built to be symmetrical on each side of the stairs, and that made sense too. Somehow, taken as a whole, it both looks fine and isn't what I wanted.

It's not Dan's fault. He built exactly what he was told to build.

It's not my husband's fault. He told me what he was doing every step of the way.

I just didn't think the steps were going to cut the deck in half. No one said they would do that, no drawings were shown to me. My husband just said we'll be building stairs, and said "great".

How stupid of us. A huge deck split like that. Pointless. You can barely walk from one side to the other on the strip of deck in front of the steps. It's literally just a little wider than another step.

Also, the guys are cutting the plastic decking on our driveway, and leaving a big pile of plastic shavings there, and NO ONE IS CLEANING IT UP!!

I mentioned that to Dan, and he was like "we can just sweep it under the deck... Yeah, no.

I will likely have to go out there and clean it up myself. Imagine not cutting over a tarp or something and cleaning it up properly.

I tried to be positive about the deck. I did. I don't like it.

I went to see River, we had a lesson today.

He had a chiropractic adjustment earlier, and I talked to R about how that went (I wasn't present, as they were doing him early in the day). He was out in the neck, and in the pelvis, but mostly good. Pretty good for an older horse.

I don't generally bother with the chiro treatments, but R kind of hounds me to do them, because her horses for some reason are all very much in need of them all the time, so she assumes River is a giant mess too. I do it once in a while just to see...and usually he's not too bad. It's generally the exact same thing every time, and I wonder how much difference it makes to even get him done, if the patterns in his body don't change.

Our lesson went okay. We worked on that back up from behind, and it was much better. After more work on a pattern on the ground that always gives us trouble, I got on and we ran through a very basic dressage pattern, which went fairly well.

Throughout everything, he could have been more forward.

I saw K and chatted with him a bit. I'm a bit surprised that he seems pretty chill about the coming of winter, because usually he's freaking out trying to get everything done that needs doing before the snow flies, but he seems okay this year.

I'm not really too worried about winter either, except for getting the yard cleaned up from the construction and getting that huge slab of concrete off of our property.

I came home and my Sweetie was cooking, and he said he was feeling kind of down in general, some of it because he is going home tomorrow. I guess he's feeling a bit like I do, just not looking forward to the disruption.

I know he doesn't like the shock of going home and seeing aging family, just like I have a hard time with that too. I don't see them for a year, and I go home and I forget how old everyone is, and I feel so unable to help them.

Yet, my husband usually enjoys seeing his family, just like I usually do too, and I know he HAS to see his parent's aging, you don't get to opt out of that.

He's just leaving straight from work tomorrow, driving until he's tired and getting a room, and finishing the next day. I won't see him before he goes.

So I told him my honest feelings about the deck, and of course that helps nothing. We aren't going to be able to change it, as it stems from circumstances of how the house itself is built. I don't know how we could have avoided it looking like that.

I guess it would have helped if we didn't have the little deck right up at the door. That's much bigger than I thought. I don't even know why my husband WANTED another little deck up there. Just to put junk on, I guess. Too small to sit there, but too big and pointless.

Okay, I'm just really disappointed in how it's turning out. It's well built, it's a nice color, the layout is just stupid.

So we ate our supper in silence, and we did chat a bit about other things after a while, but what do we do about a deck we just spent a ton of money on that I hate?

Today I am grateful for:

Good sleep.

Not being too rushed to get to town. I have an appointment for Roxy regarding her odd behavior.

I did say hi to Dan and Brandon, as they were here working on the deck (rather loudly) from about 10 am.

Feeling some relief that the color of plastic deck material looks good. Nice that I won't have to stain it.

I still felt a little pressured to get to the vet appointment on time, but we were good.

So the description I had was not a classic match to seizures, and of course I got a brand new vet who doesn't know Roxy's history.

That's something that gets to me. This is the only vet clinic in that town, and the vets change frequently. You don't end up with experienced vets often, and they don't know my dog. It's frustrating.

Anyhow, her vitals are all really good, and her blood work came back with mostly normal results. Roxy's cholesterol was a little high, and at first the vet made a big deal out of it, but I said "well, what would we look for" and she suggested a whole bunch more tests we COULD do, but for what? Our dog is already on low fat food and so on...then the vet shrugs and says "yeah, it's really not that high. Just a little".

That was frustrating. Not only did she have a list of about five possible things that might cause the seizures, and the blood work would rule out kidney or liver issues, and she was saying we should test for a bunch of those things...but Roxy doesn't have symptoms that matched those possible problems.

So, I guess if I WANTED TO, I could spend about two grand or more on test to rule out a whole shwack of potential diseases.

She also said I could try putting her on Gabapentin, and see if that helps, but I was like....well, if she's not having actual seizures (because she said it didn't sound like seizures), then I give her Gabapentin, and voila no more seizures, that doesn't prove whether or not she was having a seizure.

Frustrating. I could have left with Gabapentin and x-rays that might or might not have shown Cancer, and a whole bunch of other tests.

Instead, I just sighed, and said "how about we just see how she does". She smiled and said "that sounds great!".

Mostly, I wanted to see if there was anything BIG that the vet would see, but I guess if there isn't, then....?

Well, that's okay. This can count as her annual check up, as she hasn't been in since last year.

Then I briefly went to Winner's, and saw some nice sweaters, but really, I have a lot of sweaters. It's still nice to look around.

Then I got groceries, and I am grateful to be able to buy groceries, and have the physical ability to do so, and a car to get it all home.

It rained a little, strong in some places, nothing in others, and I could literally see on one place on the gravel road, a line across it where on one side it had rained enough to make the dirt dark, and on the other side bone dry. No gradient. Like someone had used a ruler.

I got home and it was rainy and windy, and we brought the groceries in and put them away. My Sweetie was cooking.

We watched the first episode of "The Sopranos". He's never seen it, and I saw...most of it several years ago but never finished the last season (or two?). It's been long enough ago that I won't be bored.

My Sweetie is going to go visit his parents this weekend, in a fairly short trip. He wants to leave Thursday and be back the following Monday. He will likely feel weird about seeing his Dad, since no one has even let his Dad know that they know about the half brother (that even his Dad might not know about), and no one feels like confronting him about cheating on their Mom.

He will also see his sister and her family. Probably some of the other family in the area will show up to visit if he lets them know.

Today I am grateful for:

Good sleep.

Spending some time with my Sweetie before leaping into action.

Earlier in the day my Sweetie went to town to pick up a load of building materials for the upcoming deck, and stopped in at our friend's place to help him put some tin on the roof of a shed.

Then at home, he loaded the truck with more stuff to go to the dump. Mostly wood from the old set of stairs, the stuff I moved out of the barn, and some off cuts.

I got the recycling (didn't we take a full bag just last week?) and away we went.

We stopped in at our friend's place first (the same friend my husband helped earlier), to drop off a heavy tarp that my Sweetie threw on top, as we have no use for the tarp. I think it's one he salvaged from a job site ages ago.

We also gave our friend a bunch of the wood that is still good, usable lengths as he is working on some sheds.

We COULD have kept some of it, but the reality is, we have nowhere to store more wood. Not really. We have a big pile behind the garage, but I think it's starting to dawn on my husband that when you store wood, it either takes up space in the garage, or it takes up space outside, but rots before long, or warps.

It's better to give it to someone who can use it right now.

We also took several bags of apples to give to the woman who works at the dump. She can either eat them or cook them, or give them to her animals (she has pet pigs).

We headed onward to the dump, and gave more of the wood to be set aside at the entrance. I'm not sure if the woman who works there is taking it, or if she's going to let someone else take it. She did want a length of culvert that was new. We gave her the apples.

The dump has an unofficial area by the shack where people put usable items, like lawn chairs or bikes or what have you. There are some people who go every day to see what's been put out. It's better than throwing usable items away.

When we were tossing the wood that was left, I still noticed a lot of still usable wood in the burn pit, since people seem to think that if a board was used, that's it, can't serve another purpose! I feel like we really need to have a "free wood" warehouse where people can take clean wood with no nails to be used if it's over three feet long or something.

Then we went back to our friend's place (it's right on the way to the dump) for a longer visit.

They have a new cat, a kitten who has been hanging around. It's very cute, and social, and a little poopy until it gets used to the new food. It is one of several cats that have been in their yard a lot lately, possibly a litter nearby, or someone's over crowded cat colony spreading out.

They will likely keep it. They're already feeding it and letting it sleep in their heated garage. They just need to get their other two fraidy cats to accept it.

Our friend who had the colon surgery is still struggling with healing. I don't think she feels great, and the incision is slow to close. She's not supposed to be lifting anything or exerting herself, which would suck too, because there's always so much to do.

My husband helped her husband chip some saplings while we visited.

Then they came in, and another friend of theirs came in. He's older than us, and has had a lot of injuries and such lately, and recently injured himself again by falling off a ladder into a pit he dug trying to remove a cistern. He's lucky to be alive.

So we all chatted for a while, then we headed home.

We decided to go into town to catch a show in the theater, and it was "The Heart of the Beast", which was meh. It was about a retired military guy and his retired service dog, and they get stranded in Alaska, and they try to get back to civilization. It was sort of a bro fantasy, and I don't know if any of it was based on a true story or not.

The movie was visually wonderful, but the story kind of overblown bro fantasy, and it always gets me how the bro stuff then goes over the top sentimental about the love for a dog. Like, it's okay to love your buddies or a dog that much, and maybe 'Murica, but that's it.

Then we walked around the man made lake in town, and it was already pretty cold even though it had been an okay day for heat. It was good to walk. I hadn't done much else for movement today. Just sat in the truck while we drove all over.

Today I am grateful for:

Good sleep.

Not feeling the odd rage/anxiety today, which is fantastic.

I cleaned the turtle's big external filter, which was pretty gross, but truly needed to be done.

Then I cleaned the cat litter.

I spoke with Sister E, who seems to be doing okay. Well enough that mostly she just talked about the good deals at Shopper's Drug Mart on Senior's day.

After chores and such, my Sweetie got home, and we had agreed earlier today that we would go for a walk at the park down the road.

So we did. Roughly 5 k again this week. It was a nice evening for it, cool and crisp but not cold. Lots of interesting work being done by the beavers in the park. Apparently they built a dam over one of the trails, which is closed for now.

Once again, it's nice that Roxy still enjoys these walks.

My Sweetie had another poopy day at work. Earlier this week, his female boss had a panic attack, but at the time no one knew what was wrong. The on site medics came to make sure she was okay, which she was after a while.

I guess she then got a doctor's appointment, and the diagnosis (according to her, since she's been oddly open about it to everyone) is perimenopause.

Yet, my husband says there are some strange things going on at the office today, work being reassigned in ways that don't make sense, and this woman is being left out on making those decisions, so he's wondering what is going on.

I said that if they try to fire her, she should sue their absolute balls off.

Things at his job just sound so unstable all the time. He's been with this company a long time, but it always sounds like no one knows what they're doing, and it really makes me wonder how anything gets built if this is one of the GOOD companies.

So I think he really needed that walk, just to get outside for a while and not just eat and go to bed.

We came home, and the friendly orange and white "farm kitty" that must belong to someone in our area was happily sitting on the top rail of the fence. Our horse pasture has rail fencing all the way around, and cats seem to love walking around that pasture on the top rail. They probably feel safe up there, and have a good view.

Anyhow, I went over to pet and snuggle the nice farm kitty. I don't need to adopt him, he's fixed and fat and sassy, so someone is taking good care of him. It's nice that he visits, and he's probably getting mice for us.

Then we came inside, we kind of both cooked, and we watched an episode of "the Witcher".

Today I am grateful for:

Decent sleep.

A pretty nice day outside. Sunny and cool.

Still feeling upset over pottery events, as fascism closes in.

I spent a fair amount of time talking with the guy who was the only other person left in our Communications Committee, and he's stepping down. Sigh.

On the plus side, he might come and look at our studio and I'm hoping he can be a resource for becoming an independent potter.

Then I did chores and such, and headed to the barn.

Only to see piles of sand on the outdoor arena. Hmmm.

R and K were both outside, and I talked to them extensively about what was going on with the arena.

My suspicions that it wasn't a good material for footing were correct. They were told that it was "perfect for an outdoor arena", and that "it would soften up if you harrow it", and other lies, but they realized that what they had was too hard, and was packing down into concrete wherever the horses were ridden on it.

The contractor is sticking to his story, that it's "perfect footing", but even I could tell that it's mostly clay, and was far too hard. Also, it's too thin a layer over the base, and was lifting up in places.

So, they got a whole bunch of sand and maybe that will help. My concern is that they are just dumping sand on top of what might be a bad job overall, and that might actually be a bad idea, because if no one looks at the original base to see if it was done correctly, they could make the job irreparable once the sand is on it.

Oh well. Sigh.

I really hope it doesn't ruin the outdoor arena. Before all the work was done and it was mostly turf, it was still perfectly usable most of the time in the summer.

With this, now we'll have to see what happens when it gets rained on, or what happens after a year or two of use if it stays level etc.

So I worked with River in the indoor arena, and he did well. Again, my focus was on staying forward in all movement, and to be more light in the back and other yields.

Then I came home and my Sweetie made supper, and we watched an episode of "The Witcher".