gottawonder

Today I am grateful for:

Decent sleep.

Today was colder and snowing, but I think that's easier to deal with than freezing rain.

I did general busy things like put water in the cat tower and launder dog diapers, and feed everyone.

Then I managed to finagle the very long garrocha into my little car by having part of it stick out of a back window (safely, on the passenger side so it wouldn't be on the side facing traffic) so that I could take it to the barn to work with.

River was a bit agitated today, and actually calling for his friends when we were in the arena. He is generally not "buddy sour", and yet lately he's been a bit anxious about being alone.

R's daughter L came out and rode with us, which is good because then River was okay, but it's also nice to have someone to ride with.

I worked on elements that I hope to use in the freestyle, and then tried the garrocha. It's an interesting tool to work with. L tried it too.

My Sweetie showed up part way through, so that was nice too. I think he was pleased to see me try out the garrocha.

Then for a few minutes R and the person having a lesson tonight were in the barn as we were cleaning up, and we were all chatting and being social. That was nice.

We went home, and though it was snowing quite a lot the roads were okay.

I made supper and then we watched another episode of "Dark". I spent some time earlier today looking at a fan wiki page so that I had a better idea of who all the characters are, and how they are related (there's a LOT of characters, grouped into families, and they are all either sleeping with each other or are tied in other important ways that are hard to keep track of). It helped, though the whole concept of what the heck is happening besides "time travel" is murky.

Today I am grateful for:

Sleep.

No need to rush into the day.

My Sweetie did some sanding on the garrocha pole. It's pretty smooth. Next is maybe a finer grit, then sealing.

I talked with Sister E today. She had actually made the effort to phone me a few days ago, but I was at the barn and couldn't talk, so I called her back today.

As usual, she was trying to do other things during our call, like walk the dog and talking to other people, though I sensed she was trying (?).

We did talk about things I was doing and experiencing, and that was good.

Their dog is still experiencing a lot of stomach upset. Sister E is going to aquacise classes which she says are really helping her shoulder.

Then we did chores, and headed to the barn.

It was pretty warm and nice today.

River did really well today overall. His breathing was good, though it was warmer, and he was reasonably forward while staying focused.

I enjoy days like this where he's able to focus and we can have fun.

Then we came home, my Sweetie made supper and baked his banana loaves, and we watched an older movie; "War on Everyone".

Today I am grateful for:

Decent sleep.

I did usual animal care, and washed the mountain of dishes.

I did some drumming again with the metronome, and I was able to hold a rhythm for quite some time this way.

It was windy, hovering at zero, and raining most of the day. I put a blanket on Wonder though she wasn't too wet, and the ponies seemed fine without blankets.

I texted the farrier to see when she can come and trim.

Then I went to see River, going to get fuel first.

The gravel roads were sloppy and rutted, and a bit of an ordeal. The paved roads were wet but otherwise fine.

River did well with the "teacup" exercise, as well as somehow being able to do a very good turn on his hindquarters that eluded him on Wednesday when we were trying to do them in a competition class.

The young woman with health issues did come for a lesson today, and I stayed to work with one of R's horses (Maverick). L was also there working with another horse, so it was fairly social.

By then the rain had turned to snow, and R's husband K just got back from town, and said the roads had turned to a sheet of ice. He was worried about me driving home, and was almost insisting that I stay with them...?

Well, I didn't think it was THAT bad, so what I did do was to make sure my husband came to the barn after the climbing gym so that we could go home together.

That seemed to satisfy K.

Well, the snow actually seemed to improve the roads, and by the time my husband and I drove home I didn't think it was all that bad. You just can't drive like an idiot. We drove fairly slow, and gave lots of time for stops and turns etc.

My Sweetie made supper and ate with me (yay!) and we watched an episode of "Dark".

Today I am grateful for:

Decent sleep.

The man we helped get off the highway last night came back today with a different truck and a flat deck trailer to come get his dead truck out of our yard.

It took him a LOOONG time to get the truck onto the trailer. It might have gone faster with another person.

I went outside after eating and feeding indoor animals, to see how he was doing, as well as to wish him well since he had another four hour drive back home ahead of him.

He insisted on giving me some cash, since my husband went above and beyond helping him last night. I did try to turn it down, since that's not why we help people, but I also see how he might have felt like he needed to give us some money for helping him out.

Anyhow, he got on his way, and later that night my husband texted him and made sure he got home safely.

I did normal chores and such, and checked on my drying tea pot in the studio.

I went to the barn, today we recorded two classes for an upcoming virtual show.

The first pattern went well, the second one shouldn't have given us any grief, but River "forgot" how to do a turn on his hindquarters properly. I got pretty frustrated, which is tough when you are trying to record for a show, because you can only run through a pattern so many times before both of you get burned right out, and there's only so much time in the lesson (I need R to record for us).

I COULD get my husband to record it, but the video is due soon.

My husband did show up partway through.

Anyhow, we ended up doing the second pattern just about perfectly on every other element besides the mediocre turn on hindquarters, which R adamantly asserts won't affect our score that badly, so I guess that's the recording we'll go with.

It still left me feeling overwhelmed and frustrated, as the combination of trying to be perfect, being recorded, and having time constraints often burns me out completely.

I did chat with L for a while. She was working with dogs and owners in an obedience class in the upstairs room above the barn, and came down to the barn afterwards. I showed her the cape I'm working on, and we just shot the shit for a while.

We went home, and my Sweetie made supper. We didn't watch anything tonight, as he just needed to get some sleep as early as possible since he didn't get much sleep last night.

Today I am grateful for:

Good sleep.

Heading to town after usual chores and such.

I first went to H&R Block to finish my tax return, which required my signature. Done.

Then I went to pottery, and the vase I sent to glaze firing last week is back, and it's a very rustic look. I like it.

I didn't have time to throw anything, but someone who was retiring from pottery was giving away a box of tools for people to take what they wanted. I took several, so that I could have tools that I could leave at the studio in town instead of having to take my tote with me every week. I used to leave it at the studio, but now that we have ours at home, I bring it home. If I have a few tools at the studio, I won't have to do that.

I felt that the cat urn was dry enough to put on the cart to be bisque fired.

Then I went to a phone repair place to see what could be done about my charging port. The person there said it likely needs to be replaced, but he was closing soon so I would have to go back another time and allow more time. He said 90 minutes.

He did have a charging cable there to test my phone's ability to charge, and that cable actually seemed to do a decent job of charging it. I bought one that was the same, and when I plugged everything in, my phone seemed to be charging.

This last two weeks or so, my phone was only charging if I wiggled it and had it sitting JUST so. I wasn't sure if it was the phone or if it was the cables. This person today seemed to think it was the phone, but he does have a vested interest in suggesting it's the phone.

Well, we'll see how it goes.

Then I went to get groceries. I got a few things for the food bank, spices (which I never seem to see in the donation bin, always the cheapest pasta and sauce) as well as peanut butter and jam so that someone could have them together.

I do tend to buy something to donate most of the time, and if anything, it makes me more grateful to be able to buy groceries since I get to choose what we eat.

I am grateful to be able to buy groceries.

I came home right as my Sweetie came home too, so he was able to help with groceries, which is always appreciated.

I did put Dandy in with Wonder, after all her hay is cleaned up so that Dandy isn't getting more than he needs.

He seemed to be moving okay. I won't ask him to trot when I'm leading him, I will wait until he offers it.

Then we came in, I did dishes and made supper.

We watched an episode of "Dark", which is sure sticking to the heavy, super creepy vibe, but at least the story is forming up.

Today I am grateful for:

My Sweetie got up to go to town, though it meant I just didn't sleep. There were just too many "things" going on today in the house and I can't sleep knowing that my husband is heading out, and Dan is on the way, and so on.

It sucks.

I often feel like in order to have things progress on the house, I just have to live with the lack of sleep.

Anyhow, my husband did go to the pottery studio, and no one showed up. It's not his fault, though it didn't help that he waited a long time to actually commit to doing it, and took his sweet time getting his outline to the person organizing it, and so on.

He did stay and condition some old clay of ours that I was soaking.

Then he did drop off the truck load of things we were happy to move along to the ReStore (I'm happy that I made that suggesting so that he didn't waste a trip to town).

Then he went to H&R Block to look at the tax paperwork, only to discover that they didn't include the tax deductions from our contributions to RRSPs. I mean, that information shows up when you look people up on Revenue Canada...? We even TOLD them we made contributions.

So I guess now we have to get a form from the bank, but I don't know why we didn't get one already? We made the contribution in January.

Dan did show up at 1pm, just like we agreed, and started working on the floor. He will have to come back tomorrow morning. Sigh.

We need to figure out now what we will use to seal the floor. Dan is suggesting this wax/oil based sealant, and I guess he's used it before. I need to research this, as I have concerns about what would happen if you want to sand it again later, etc.

Then we went to the city. We tried to pick up the mail, but the post office is closed Saturdays. Sigh.

We went to a costume store to see if they had a cape similar to a bullfighter's cape that I might use in my Liberty Freestyle. They did, but only as a rental (three days and too much money).

I almost laughed at the "spanish bolero" you could rent. It was not very well made by cutting down a men's formal jacket with some bad trim added to it. You could rent it for three days for SIXTY DOLLARS.

I had hoped to buy a cape, but instead they had patterns. I'm not much of a seamstress, but maybe I could manage a simple cape.

Then we went to a fabric store, and I bought some very cheap red fabric to make a first attempt, maybe more (there's lots of it) and some nice red satin if I feel confident enough to cut it. I bought some nice gold trim for adding to a vest or a jacket.

We then went to a thrift store and found a plain black vest that will look "Spanish" if I add the gold trim and maybe change the buttons. I can wear it over a white shirt, add a black ribbon tie, and off we go.

Then we ate at one of last "usual" vegan places, and I was happy to be there. They did a good job on the Brussels sprouts.

Then we came home, and watched "Deadpool vs. Wolverine" which is mindless tripe for the most part, but fun to watch.

Today I am grateful for:

That the drywall work began today.

It began early, and VERY LOUDLY. The two fellows (I thought there was only supposed to be one?) came, and made a very loud entrance, talking loudly and stomping around.

Then they went downstairs and proceeded to crank their dance music to the point where it would have been loud if I had been playing it upstairs.

Since all of this has been my husband's thing, and he apparently never got a direct phone number to these fellows, and I was still in bed trying to sleep, I called my husband and asked him to call Dan (who arranged for these two) and then Dan could call his subcontractors and tell them to shut the heck up.

Yes, that's how stupid this is. I had asked my husband a few days ago if he had the number of the mud/tape guy, and my husband said no, all of this goes through Dan.

So, if everyone is going to be like that, I will make all of them call each other like the ridiculous creatures that they are, so that it is up to THEM to deal with the noise.

It did settle down shortly after, but I didn't fall back asleep.

Then I got a dumb phone call from H&R Block, as they wanted to know if my husband and I are married or common law. I asked the person if there was no record anywhere in their files, as we have literally filed our taxed with them for...15 years? Then she asked if we had any children or dependents. Same thing...no, we don't have children and are truly unlikely to have any.

So that was ridiculous.

Then when I got up, I spoke with D from pottery. Since every last person who was involved in organizing my husband's upcoming workshop fumbled the whole thing to the point where we didn't even know if he was supposed to be doing it or not, no one has signed up. The poster only got put up a few days ago and the workshop is supposed to be this Saturday.

Most of the workshops has an entire month of lead time, with advertising on the Facebook page, the poster in the studio, and emails.

So, we will now look like idiots, for all the effort we've put in trying to do these workshops, thanks to every last person involved not doing their job.

So that's basically all happening within an hour or so of me getting up. Just one stupid thing after another.

So I did normal chores, felt my usual horrible guilt at Dandy being sore (though walking, carefully), and didn't get much done today because I was exhausted and angry at everyone and everything.

I did go out into the pottery studio to try to do something to make my day feel worth doing, and my husband came out there when he got home.

I made supper, though it's frustrating that half the time my husband seems to want me to make two suppers, like he doesn't want the same thing or ....?

Tonight I was cooking, and he was like "do you want me to just make my own food, the frozen veggie/egg thing?"

Why? What would be wrong with just eating the food that I am right in the middle of cooking, and obviously making enough for both of us? This makes me feel the same way as when he just eats something on the way home from work instead of coming home for supper, only he doesn't tell me, so I'm often cooking supper for both of us when he walks in and says he ate in town.

It's rude.

He ate what I cooked, and actually seemed happy enough to eat it, and why not? It was perfectly fine.

We watched an episode of "Slow Horses", and after he went to bed I went back out to the pottery studio.

I have no idea when the mud/tape guys are coming back to sand, and neither does my husband. Apparently one morning they will just show up.

Today I am grateful for:

Some sleep.

Still feeling anxious for Dandy.

Headed to town after usual chores to "do pottery", though more and more my time in town is just running errands since I "don't work" and have all this free time.

I paid our current owing taxes at the bank.

Then I went to H&R Block to start the process of MORE TAXES.

Then I got to go to pottery, for the scant hour or so that I had before I had to be out of the studio.

I brought the urn R wanted me to make for Earl, when the inevitable happens. It needs to be bisque fired then glazed, and I didn't want to wait until we were doing that in our kiln at home. As I examined it, it looks like it still needs another week to finish drying, as the bottom is still damp.

I glazed a vase, and put it on the cart (hope for the best).

I put two dry vases on the cart to be bisqued.

I was miffed to see that someone didn't bother to clean up the sink, or around their wheel. I am fairly sure I know who it is. The same person generally doesn't clean up after herself well, and because I am generally the last person out of the studio, I end up tidying up after her.

Then I got groceries. Not a huge trip this time, but I am still shocked at what the total came to. We don't eat particularly fancy food, no meat, and it's just EXPENSIVE. I worry about what all the new wars are going to do to the food prices. I remember a long, long time ago, when I spent about $50 a week on groceries, and ate well.

I am very grateful to be able to buy groceries.

I came home and my Sweetie got there the same time and helped bring everything in.

Then I made supper, and we started the third season of "Slow Horses".

Today I am grateful for:

Decent sleep.

My Sweetie and Dan got more work done upstairs, getting all of the drywall put up. Now both the basement and the small room upstairs are ready for the expert mud and tape guy to come. My Sweetie thinks it will be very soon, as soon as he's free.

Then I got up and ate (he made me breakfast), and we chatted.

Then we did chores and gathered up everything that needed to go to the dump. Some of it was small pieces of drywall out of the basement that was no use for future projects, miscellaneous crap from the basement, household garbage, some twine from the barn, and the recycling.

Then we took it to the dump.

We headed home again and we trimmed Brownie's feet (goat), as well as spent some time walking Dandy around to see how he's doing. He seemed to be moving okay, and even volunteered to trot and did some prancing around. I put him in with Wonder, and they ran around together.

Hmmm.

Then we got cleaned up to go to see a live band at the local cool theater.

It was very full when we got there, a sold out show with free seating. This venue has just these round tables that seat four or five people, and when you come to something like this, people kind of have to share their table with strangers.

We thought we were early enough to get a table closer to the band, but ended up being at the very back of the room, which made me feel kind of "away from the action" even though the sound was good.

We did share our table with two strangers, though we talked with them for quite a while before the band played (doors opened at 7, band played at 8).

There was a very good opening band, and the main attraction was very good too, but their songs kind of all sounded the same. They were a sort of upbeat smooth blues band but every song had the same tempo and the same vocal range and so on. It was odd.

Overall good, and after some prompting I did get my Sweetie to dance a little bit for the last two songs. He doesn't like dancing, and isn't good at it, and I LOVE dancing, but I'm not going to go up there and dance by myself, or sort of try to barge in with other people who were dancing.

Then we came home and it was raining, but it might freeze later.

We put Dandy back with his people, and my Sweetie headed to bed.

Today I am grateful for:

Having the means to keep getting the vet to look at our animals when they need it.

Last evening when I brought Dandy from Wonder's pen to his own pen, I felt like he was walking a bit off. When I did last chores, he was indeed sore in his feet.

Well, that means making an appointment first thing this morning (extra fees for same day).

I am glad the vet could come. Yes, he's having a laminitic event. The weather, and the simple fact that he is a pony (prone to being overweight and insulin resistant) has triggered inflammation that makes the hooves painful.

The vet did not have the medication he needed on the truck, and neither did the vet clinic in town, so they're ordering it.

That means he gets to be in pain overnight, until I can get to town to pick up the medication.

The vet also wanted to draw blood again to check for insulin resistance, but duh. Upselling.

I still had other things I needed to do today, and reluctantly went about doing them, feeling upset about Dandy the whole time.

I had my therapy appointment today, and I didn't want to miss it. Today I felt more sure of my goals, which were to get to the point where TW was simply not an issue for me anymore, and to halt the relaying of messages for her with other family.

I had some other longer term goals too, mainly to sort out what parts of me are just the results of trauma, and what I can do about that.

I was surprised that I still had so much to say about the same things this week, but I felt a bit less emotional. I guess I'm getting better at talking about feelings and thoughts that I don't usually say out loud to anyone besides my husband.

Then I needed to go to the farm supply store for animal bedding pellets that I use as cat litter, bird seed, and a new winter farm coat (on sale!).

Then I needed to pay my speeding ticket. Sigh.

Then I stuck my head into the quilting shop to see if they had anything suited to a Spanish style cape, but it's all cotton quilting material. Not that surprising. It is the only fabric store in town though, so I will need to look in the city for satin or something similar.

Then I decided to just go home.

I was exhausted from lack of sleep (worrying about Dandy), but I still couldn't nap.

My Sweetie got home, we talked (things are very strenuous at work for him, trying to sort out six month's worth of messed up paperwork to do with contracts).

We went downstairs and spent an hour moving things out of the way so that the drywall mud/tape person can get to everything, and to keep things out of the dust that's coming.

Then we ate and watched another episode of "Slow Horses". We both get the gist of what's happening, but have no idea which Russian spy is which, because there are too many of them and the names are confusing.