Tuesday, January 28

Today I am grateful for:

Continued nice weather.

Being able to at least be someone my sister feels she can talk to. This is the sister whose partner died a few weeks ago, and I think it's only finally starting to hit her. She doesn't know what she's going to do for money as she has a very hard time keeping a job, and not a lot of skills. She relied on her partner for money, but they didn't have much set aside. She is also living in a precarious old trailer that took constant effort to keep it livable. She has a friend helping her for now, but you can't really expect someone to do that kind of thing forever. I am quite worried for her, because I think she's literally seeing no way out of this situation, and I know she's just blackout drinking every night. She would have a very long road to getting herself to a more stable life, and it would have to begin with addressing her addictions, which in and of themselves would be a monumental task. Then she likely needs to empty her hoard out of the place where she is, because it would be possible to sell if it were empty, because what it does have is a giant mechanic's shop (full of crap). Someone would buy it for the shop. She probably should be living in an apartment so that she doesn't have to maintain a house, but her hoarding means that she will likely buy another shitty old house instead. She just lives in a ghost town in the middle of nowhere, so far away from potential jobs or resources like AA meetings that it is not a viable place for her to live. She has options, but all of them are difficult and would mean a LOT of effort on her part, just to get stable enough to live on her own. She also has NO intention of quitting drinking, so none of it is likely going to happen. She's likely going to end up being forced by horrible circumstances to act, and none of it is going to be good.

Getting out of the yard without backing into anything. The heating guy was here again, and his truck and trailer make it very difficult to get out with the car.

A good ride on River. I enjoyed being around other people today.

An interesting development at the barn, and it does fall under gratitude. Another rider at the barn was in a group lesson today, and the owner (who also gives lessons) was REALLY pushing this rider, ignoring her exhaustion and her inability to complete the goals of the lesson. The instructor kept pushing her, and finally this rider snapped, and said she just couldn't do it. The instructor ignored her, and tried to push her again, and the rider called her a bitch, and also said she'd been a bitch to her all week (I don't know the whole story there). This probably means this rider is done at the barn now, which sucks because I was friends with her, BUT, the owner really IS a bitch sometimes, and I'm glad someone finally called her on it. Most of the time, when someone gets fed up, they just leave without confronting her, but I'm kind of glad someone came right out and said something. There ARE times during the lessons when I think this instructor shouldn't keep pushing people to try something that's just too hard for them today, and she should find a way to break that goal down into something more manageable. She doesn't seem to accept that sometimes people just hit a wall.

Coming home and having a nice evening with the kitties.

Monday: I am grateful for my creativity, as it keeps me sane when I am by myself a lot.

I went for a nice walk at the park down the road, and fed the chickadees.

I spent some time working on another painting, with decent results so far.