I probably am a bitch.

There was a person who started debating my sister and I about climate change, saying it was a hoax, and Greta Thunberg should shut up about things she doesn't understand. My sister and I are both more or less in agreement that it's real. Might I add that my sister and I will argue to the death. We are relentless, write long, elaborate posts, provide proof, and on and on. People have died of old age before we've stopped talking.

This silly person thought she could be rude, insulting, eventually stooping to declaring me a sociopath and a narcissist (wouldn't THAT be exciting!).

After long hours of wasting my life responding fairly civilly to this person, and eventually just being a bit childish, then going back to being enormously civil, I finally pissed this person off so badly that she called me a bitch, told me to fuck myself, and blocked me, and probably my sister from her account. I'm actually kind of delighted. She earned it by being REALLY rude to my sister.

I bet a lot of people think I'm a bitch. I suppose anyone who has an opinion and defends it, even if they're civil, is a bitch. Probably the barn owner thinks I'm a bitch because I make her life uncomfortable from time to time. My husband likely thinks I'm a bitch sometimes, because that's what it's like to live intimately with another person. My Mom probably thinks I'm a bitch sometimes for demanding to be treated with respect. Our neighbor that kept bringing his dog over and letting it run around the heavy machinery probably thinks I'm a bitch for demanding that he keep his dog in our kennel, or for him to leave it at home. I know some people I used to work with likely think I'm a bitch. Some people I used to date. People I didn't want to date. Almost every member of my family has probably frequently thought I was a bitch, some probably permanently think I'm a bitch. A few of my neighbors likely think I'm a bitch because I really tore into them about letting their dogs run loose.

I will say that there have been points in my life where I was truly uncivil to some people. Unfortunately, at some low points in my life I was a lot harder on people who were just people trying to get through their day, like the person you'd end up talking to about your phone bill, or people in retail when they weren't really being very useful. I don't think I was HORRIBLE, but I've probably been guilty of being impatient or unfairly rude when it's not usually the staff's fault when something doesn't go right.

No doubt I have struggled with learning the difference between what I am entitled to (a fair shake? honesty?) vs. what is entitlement (thinking people should always agree with me, or have what I need, or always be willing to help me).

I know that sometimes I really do push people. I am too willing to get into discussions about politics on Facebook. Just as often though, it's implied that I am a bitch just for being a dissenting voice when someone posts something about wanting to be able to open carry machine guns, or when someone declares that they hate paying taxes to support immigrants (yup, we get them here in Canada too).

People really hate a smart person. I don't say much unless I know what I'm talking about, but man, do people hate being told that there are facts out there that interfere with their beliefs. Maybe I should just let them carry on? Maybe that would be fine when it doesn't affect me, but it often will. Or it will result in potential harm for others.

I guess I'm just that nosy, annoying "know it all" person. I can see how that would drive someone crazy. I get like that about my sister, who sometimes just carries on to the point where you want to just make it stop.

I probably am a bitch. Is that a bad thing?

Friday, January 31

Today I am grateful for:

More nice weather. Just barely below freezing.

A nice phone conversation with one of my sisters; her horse foundered a while ago and he's finally feeling a little better.

A good day in town. First I went for a walk with Roxy at the golf course, which allows people to walk their dogs off-leash in the winter (isn't that wonderful of them?).

I needed to buy a couple of bras, most of mine don't fit anymore, even some of my sports bras are too loose to be supportive. I had the time to try on several, though there wasn't a lot of selection in what I felt was now my size. I managed to find a couple of fairly inexpensive ones. I also got some groceries, which I am always grateful for.

Wasted far too much time on Facebook, but found some nice solidarity with my sister who's always on there, fighting the good fight.

Our dog Roxy. She is such a good dog, and really is a wonderful companion. I love having her happy face greeting me any time I need a happy face, and she puts such gusto and enthusiasm into going to do chores that it makes it more enjoyable for me. She gives me the social context to talk to other people sometimes when I go to the dog park, and she makes it okay for me to be out walking alone (it can seem awkward if you don't have a dog). She's probably a better person than I'll ever be.