Thursday, April 16

[gottawonder]

Today I am grateful for:

Sunshine, and some real melting of the snow now. I am hopeful that we might really get spring at some point.

Spending time just being with the goats and ponies, while cleaning their pen a bit more.

A good phone call with my Mom, and talking with one of my sisters. This sister has a lot of health issues, and one of them is that her hearing is pretty bad. It makes talking to her on the phone difficult, because she really can't tell what I'm saying, so it ends up being not really a conversation, but you sort of saying something she half understands, and then just letting her talk for quite a while. It must be a different kind of isolation for her, to have poor hearing now. She must not really have many meaningful conversations with people, without the ability to hear the other half of the conversation.

I guess this does make me grateful for things like being able to hear, and general decent health. Most days I feel pretty good physically, and that's not something I take for granted.

That the barn owner is able to let us ride, though we aren't allowed to have lessons, and now the rule for riding is one person at a time, not two. We're allowed to have someone we're isolating with in the barn, as many of the riders are kids. My sweetie won't be able to come all the time, and I'm nervous about riding alone with no one around, but there will be people scheduled after me, so I guess if something happened it wouldn't be too long before someone else showed up? Not sure about this development. I'm glad we can still ride.

My sweetie and I watched a fairly bland movie, but there is at least a feeling of normalcy that comes of that.

Spending some time painting, and liking it so far.

I'm starting to think that the kind of happiness we experienced when we were younger maybe isn't even possible after a certain point in your life. You just see the shadows, instead of the light. That doesn't mean you can't have good days, or good moments, or feel okay. I think though, that most days are going to feel like you're just too aware of things, things are very precious, and while that can be good too, I think that awareness means a loss of light-heartedness.