Sunday, August 23

[gottawonder]

Today I am grateful for:

Nice, sunny weather. Not too hot.

Some friends of ours dropped in to say Hi. It was nice to see them, but I have to say I really don't like people dropping in unannounced. With our current sleep schedule, it usually means that we are either still in bed, or just walking around half naked, and just beginning the day.

The last couple of times people just dropped in, my sweetie leaped into action and threw on clothes to greet them, and then I got up too, but I find it really startling to be awakened by people just pulling into our yard and knocking on the door, and the dog freaking out is what wakes you. By getting up and making as if we were up, my sweetie gives people the wrong impression that their impromptu visit didn't wake us up, and wasn't an interruption. I HATE people just dropping by. I hate it when they keep knocking on the door too, because the dog keeps freaking out. I know they're just sitting outside thinking "oh, I'll give them time to get dressed and come out". Well, if you have to do that, you need to consider if your visit was really welcome.

I would personally not get up, or just text them that this isn't a great time, but my sweetie gets up and acts like he's been up for hours. Everyone now knows he's working nights, so they should know better. He's really just making it worse by being social.

Our friends today just wanted to yack, which is nice, but I was just standing there like a zombie, listening to my friend talk about NOTHING.

Talking to my trainwreck sister. She still thinks she's going to move in with my Mom. My sister is almost 60, and needs to move in with my Mom because she can't afford to keep the utilities on in her trailer. She's also not selling her place. Her plan seems to be to live with Mom, and keep all her shit out at her trailer and garage, and then kind of maybe live there next summer with no power. She COULD clean out her property and sell it, or even sell it with all her shit in it, but here's the truth: she doesn't want to get rid of her stuff, or sell her property. Then she can pretend that she isn't more or less homeless. She'll just tell people she's living with Mom to take care of her. This is so depressing on so many levels, and it won't be good for my Mom. What's my sister going to do, get blackout drunk every night at my Mom's house, like she does at home? Smoke inside the house (she isn't going to go outside in -30 C all winter at night to smoke. She'll start pulling some kind of bullshit like smoking in the bedroom with the window open, and my Mom will just put up with it). She'll start hauling shit into Mom's house, or filling Mom's shed up with shit. She's a giant hoarder.

What's funny, is that this sister cleans for another sister of ours who has a lot of health challenges, and my trainwreck sister always talks like this sister's house is filthy. It's really not that bad, it's just that with health challenges my sister can't keep up. My hoarder alcoholic trainwreck sister makes it sound like they're animals, but won't acknowledge that her own house would be condemned if she lived in a real town. She literally always has to live in a rural place so that no one calls the authorities on her for her hoarding, and all the garbage in her yard. She gets infested with mice, and blames it on it "being a wet year" or whatever.

She's also NOW talking about people being irresponsible about COVID and not social distancing or wearing masks. This is the sister that all summer has been travelling to see her three sons and their kids, getting together at gatherings with our family, and then going to see our Mom, or a friend of hers who is dying of Cancer. Yet, I know she's still not wearing a mask or social distancing. Aren't alcoholics fun?

Getting the barn cleaned out. Once or twice a year I clean out all the hay on the ground, and anything that was set aside because it was dusty or moldy. The floor of the barn is just dirt, and this year with so much rain, the floor was wet a lot, so quite a bit of the hay was moldy. I cleaned up whatever I could, and took it outside and burned it. It's been raining a lot this year, so no concerns about it spreading. That took up a lot of my day.

Washing, cutting up, and freezing the beans we picked yesterday. Enough for a few meals.

Having a nice bath (I smelled pretty smokey), and mucked around with makeup a bit. I'd like to wear makeup again. I used to wear it when I went to town, and for the last couple of years I've just not bothered. Yet, I like to wear a little makeup now and then, it just seems like there is never enough time for me to take the time to find something nice to wear and put in a bit of effort. It's always just grabbing the same t-shirt and jeans (which is fine for groceries, but why not wear something nice if we're going to the city?). Even if I AM just running errands, why not a swipe of eye shadow and some lipstick? Half the problem is that I'm just out of touch with what looks good on me, and remembering how to put it on so that it doesn't seem startlingly different from me without makeup. I have TONS of eye shadow and lipstick. I also want to learn how to use foundation properly, so that it doesn't look like theater makeup. I don't need to cake it on, just a bit to even out my skin sometimes.

Saturday:

Picked raspberries and beans with my sweetie before he went to work today.

I rode River today, and his breathing was pretty good. He still got winded easily, but not coughing. I don't know if the barn owner gives a rat's ass about giving him and some of the other sensitive horses less dusty hay, or if his breathing will keep being a problem from one bale to the next depending on the hay quality.

There was another rider there, and it was nice to talk with her.