Sunday, November 22

[gottawonder]

Today I am grateful for:

A bit of sunshine today.

Talking for a while with my Trainwreck sister. She's doing well financially, but I wonder how she's doing emotionally. Her partner passed away roughly a year ago, and most of her time now is dedicated to helping our Mom, another one of my sisters whose health isn't so good, and a terminally ill man that she "isn't attracted to" yet still has a quasi-romantic relationship with, mainly because she feels sorry for him. So, most of her life is about illness and care-giving, which is what she did for about two years before her partner died. I tried to talk to her about finding something more positive and life-affirming to balance things out a bit (because she often seems really burned out), and maybe for now her cats are filling that role. I feel weird about her relationship with the terminally ill man, because she says she only feels friendship for him, but constantly alludes to "maybe giving him some sex" because HE wants sex, and he's giving her money for "looking after him". Yeah, that's not a confusing dynamic at all, is it. It's like she doesn't really have boundaries, and she's always telling me about stuff like this, and I don't know why. It's like she's asking me for permission or something. I tell her to do whatever she wants to do, but she has to accept that she's CHOOSING to do this, and she needs to DECIDE what happens to her body, not just do things to make the other person happy, or just "let things happen" and then feel gross about it later. I have to tell a 60 year old woman things like this, because apparently she never figured it out.

My sweetie and Roxy and I went for a walk at the park down the road. We haven't been there much this year, partly because our current sleep schedule means we barely get a "day". Even today, by the time we ate, did chores, and so on it was dark by the time we finished our walk, but that was okay because there was a bright moon to light our way. It was just good to get out and walk for a while.

We had a quiet evening at home, and watched "The Watch" (a comedy).

I worked some more on painting Christmas cards while listening to podcasts.