Monday, December 28

[gottawonder]

Today I am grateful for:

A pretty winter scene outside today, as everything is covered in hoar frost.

My sweetie and I went to town to get groceries. We also got more movies to watch (man, the selection of new movies is non-existent).

Some drama I didn't really need today. I phoned Mom, and I ended up talking maybe too much about Covid precautions, because I forget that these days things get twisted in her mind. She apparently takes any opportunity to feel upset and argue with my brother about not wanting home care to come and give her meds any more. He called me later to say that she was kind of upset. I shouldn't feel too badly about this though, because I guess she and my brother argue about this all the time. She can't keep track of her pills so she MUST have help, but she resists it at every turn. I guess though, she's at the point where I probably should just keep to the weather etc. Nothing too "real".

My Mom mentioned that my Trainwreck sister went to visit her adult children over the holidays. That is three sons, wives and kids, from three households. So... NOT social distancing. Trainwreck sister SAYS that she intends to stay away from Mom for two weeks, but who is able to ensure that she does? This sister is impulsive, and does whatever the f*ck she feels like doing that day. Mom isn't clear-minded enough to make sure that my sister doesn't come in.

This triggered a whole cascade of feelings, because only a week ago my nephew and his wife (who is a nurse, who worked in a hospital full of Covid right up until she gave birth) went to see my Mom with their new baby. Sure, they wore masks, but Mom didn't, and they sat with her for a couple of hours. I thought it was very irresponsible.

Another sister of ours was going to church and then dropping in on Mom too, right up until recently (now churches are closed).

So I called a different sister, and vented to her about people being reckless about visiting Mom.

I mean, COME ON people! Everyone thinks that THEIR reason for visiting Mom is legitimate. No one seems to realize that "I don't feel sick" doesn't mean they couldn't infect her. It makes me tired.

I also got angry at a guy standing beside me in the grocery store with his mask pulled down to his chin. I told him that the masks don't work that way, and he mumbled "I've got a breathing problem" as he turned and walked away from me. I yelled after him "well, we're ALL going to have breathing problems if you keep that up".

I feel like a huge part of my energy right now is going to talking to people about Covid, and arguing with them about precautions and even just wearing a god damned mask. Every day I feel like most of the conversations are about it, and many of my thoughts. I also feel like the world is shifting because of this, and people are becoming more and more divided politically here, and I wonder if we'll ever have movie theaters again (it seems like everything has made a massive shift to subscription services), or if constantly getting vaccines for whatever super bug is going around is now just going to be our lives.

It doesn't take much to upset me any more either. The stakes are too high right now, and people are starting to "normalize" the Covid situation again and keep making exceptions.

We came home and had a quiet evening. We watched "Fatman" which wasn't bad. I worked on a macrame cuff.

Sunday: We went to see River, and it was a good ride. I feel like he's less "bracing" on the bit, and giving well when I do the pressure release work on the ground, and from his back.