Saturday, May 8

Today I am grateful for:

Rain. We needed it, and maybe now we can do without all the gale-force wind we've had this past week.

That I do have a blanket for my dear Hollywood, who gets cold pretty easily these days.

I made it into town, in spite of one of those beginnings to a day where everything seems to be hard to do, and there's always one more thing that you have to do before you can leave. I was on the way to town, and the tire pressure light came on, so I turned around and went home and put some air in the tires. It's likely nothing more than just loosing air from cold/warm shifts we've been having.

I FINALLY got to town, and met with a woman selling a pony harness. I will need to try it on to see if it fits either of the ponies. It is meant for a "B" mini, around 35-40 inches, so hopefully it will work for mine. If not, I can always try to sell it again.

Then I got groceries again. I didn't really need to, but I was already there, and if I buy more today, maybe I can actually make it closer to a whole week without shopping again. This thing with my husband needing to take a huge container of fresh veg for his lunch has been ridiculous. He goes through a five pound bag of carrots every week, a head of cauliflower, a ton of broccoli, and two heads of celery. There's no room in the refrigerator for other food, and it means I have to make massive shopping trips about every five or six days.

It kind of started because I told him he's responsible for his own lunches. So, he doesn't have time to cook anything for himself (but I told him I would cook batches of food, if he would pack his own lunch), and he won't eat sandwiches, and he won't take anything that requires heating (he hates using community microwaves), but he also won't take yogurt cups or anything requiring a utensil.

I need to put my foot down, because I think he's half starving himself because he eats eggs and toast for breakfast, but nothing else all night at work but a giant tub of raw vegetables. Maybe a bit of cheese or peanuts.

I am concerned that he's going to be low on healthy fats and iron, and all kinds of nutrients because as a vegetarian, I know you have to eat things like avocado, and lentils, beans, and quinoa. Not just raw veggies.

I tried to talk to him today, and he of course, wasn't happy that I was bugging him about this, because I know he's also trying not to put on weight at a desk job.

So, I am trying to convince him to take at least things like almonds and dried apricots, a protein bar of some kind, and maybe cold salads made with beans and quinoa. Maybe a bagel. Something that's real food.

I don't understand the reluctance to take a simple spoon or fork with him.

I got home from town and just vegged. I've felt really burnt out lately, and I don't get enough real sleep. Because of my husband being on nights and working extra hours, he gets into bed for exactly 8 hours, but that means you have to fall asleep perfectly, and not get woken up by the cats or the phone or anything else. Often the phone rings, or the cats walk all over us, or I have to pee, or any number of things and I can't fall asleep because it's broad daylight. No matter what, we have to get up when my husband needs to get up, and I have to give Fatty his medication. I have to do chores.

Sometimes I feel like there's a huge rush of things that need to be done in the first two to three hours every day, and a lot of times I don't need to do much at night, but I can't go to sleep because of the timing of my chores at night for the horses. I would always wake up when my husband came home at 7 am anyhow.

Anyhow, no need to problem solve on my behalf. Mostly, the way I'm doing things right now is pretty much just how they have to be done to survive this job. We're close to it being finished, and maybe things will improve sleep-wise and schedule-wise.