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Wednesday, October 27
Oct. 28th, 2021 01:27 amToday I am grateful for:
More sunny and mild weather. October turned out to be a pretty nice month; sometimes it can be really awful here.
I talked to my Mom, and she seemed in good spirits. Being in the hospital (not in critical care, recovering from a fall) seems to agree with her. I hope she sincerely feels this cheerful, and she's not just trying to keep up appearances.
She didn't even seem to mind that she's in a wheelchair, because she "walks" herself around using her legs, and it likely does a lot to relieve the pain in her knees. It's possible that she feels more free this way than just trying to walk and being afraid of falling all the time in her house.
So, I think I settled a weird thing at the barn. For the last two weeks, a teen girl has used River in lessons, with my consent. She needed a gentle horse to work with because she's outgrown R's lesson pony, and the other horses R has for lessons aren't quite what this girl needs. R asked me herself if I would let this girl use River, and I agreed. I thought it would be nice for River to have some variety, and I understood that this girl needed him.
What was weird, is that a few days ago, R asked me if this girl could have one day a week (besides the lesson) to just "hang out" with River. At first I thought, sure...but then I asked what she wanted to do with him. R was all like "just to groom him and practice their groundwork".
Well, as soon as you say "practice groundwork", that means using him in a way that is in a "professional" capacity and should be compensated for. Basically she would be working with him the same way as anyone leasing a horse under normal circumstances, only somehow they thought I could do it for free since she wouldn't be riding him (and how long would it be before she was just "practicing her riding" on him?).
It is a VERY strange thing to ask just to have one day a week to "hang out" with someone's horse, and pretty much no one would ever ask to do that, and not for free. I also wondered if these are people who would take advantage, and just show up whenever thinking they could go "hang out" with him since they couldn't make on their usual day, or whatever. I like firm boundaries and no ambiguity in agreements.
When I pressed R for some more information, it just got stranger. I asked her today why these people wanted to just "hang out" with River, and she said just to get to know him better. Okayyy, but why wouldn't they just part lease him so they could straight up reserve a day a week to work with him? Apparently they didn't want to make a commitment.
Stranger yet, this teen's mother....get ready for it,....owns her own riding facility with an arena, they own tons of horses, she trains horses, and has absolute shit loads of money. Why would she be all weird and ask for a day a week to "hang out" with my horse for free? It's already kind of weird that her daughter is taking lessons with R, with my very nice but certainly not flashy boy when they could likely board a horse of their own with R and take lessons with it? They could go buy their own trusty steed, and even if their daughter lost interest in a year it could either be a lesson horse on their own place, or sell it to a client at their own barn. It makes no sense to me.
To me, it just sounds like entitlement. This kid's mom sounds like someone who is just used to getting things given to her in the hope of favors somewhere down the road or something. You know how they say rich people don't end up paying for a lot of things? Maybe this is what they expect after a while.
So, I listened to my gut, and told R that no, they can't just come "practice their groundwork" with River for free. They can talk to me about a proper part lease agreement if they want, but I want something structured with roles understood, and reasonable compensation. If they don't want to do that, then they can just "get to know" River during their scheduled lesson.
To her credit, R readily agreed that what I wanted was how we will do this. I appreciated that very much.
I did have a lesson today, with the other rider, and I was happy with the lesson. I felt that I got lots of good coaching, and a reasonable amount of R's attention. We worked on an element of ground work that we are struggling with, also worked on my other concern which was a lack of energy and responsiveness to cues in general, and when we rode we worked on my leg position and seat, and on getting River to remain forward without me nagging him with my legs to keep moving well (he has a tendency to drift down to a walk if you don't keep using your legs, but then that makes him dull to leg cues).
Then I came home and watched more "Breaking Bad".
I feel like my life has been way too dramatic lately. Like all I do is have things that hit me funny, and take up all my energy for days on end. Like a few weeks ago the neighbor lady wanting to come ride my horses and me wondering what the hell that was all about, or me getting upset over people from Buy and Sell making appointments to come pick things up and not showing, or more valid concerns like my Mom, or worrying about my elderly mare, or the new cat constantly trying to eat things he shouldn't and having to be very vigilant about everything he could possibly try to fit into his mouth, or being frustrated at the speed of the house project, or being worried about the stupid endless bank bullshit (now resolved), and on and on and on.
Would most people find these things stressful or disconcerting?
My life is this strange thing where I am at home by myself, in what most people would consider blissfully idyllic surroundings, with few really stressful pressures in my day to day life. Yet I often feel like I get upset about things, or feel unable to deal with certain things, so I am alone in my house, stressed out about something going on, often feeling unable to take effective action.
Or I am bored shitless, sometimes still while stressed out.
Every now and then I get a perfectly nice day or two, and I wonder why this isn't more my normal status.
I am grateful for River. He's not perfect, but he's a good horse and I feel like being at this barn has over all been good for us both. I am grateful for R, she is a very good coach and person over all. I am grateful for the kitties and Roxy; it is hard to feel unloved in our house with so many soft, snuggly beings. For all of the animals, really.
More sunny and mild weather. October turned out to be a pretty nice month; sometimes it can be really awful here.
I talked to my Mom, and she seemed in good spirits. Being in the hospital (not in critical care, recovering from a fall) seems to agree with her. I hope she sincerely feels this cheerful, and she's not just trying to keep up appearances.
She didn't even seem to mind that she's in a wheelchair, because she "walks" herself around using her legs, and it likely does a lot to relieve the pain in her knees. It's possible that she feels more free this way than just trying to walk and being afraid of falling all the time in her house.
So, I think I settled a weird thing at the barn. For the last two weeks, a teen girl has used River in lessons, with my consent. She needed a gentle horse to work with because she's outgrown R's lesson pony, and the other horses R has for lessons aren't quite what this girl needs. R asked me herself if I would let this girl use River, and I agreed. I thought it would be nice for River to have some variety, and I understood that this girl needed him.
What was weird, is that a few days ago, R asked me if this girl could have one day a week (besides the lesson) to just "hang out" with River. At first I thought, sure...but then I asked what she wanted to do with him. R was all like "just to groom him and practice their groundwork".
Well, as soon as you say "practice groundwork", that means using him in a way that is in a "professional" capacity and should be compensated for. Basically she would be working with him the same way as anyone leasing a horse under normal circumstances, only somehow they thought I could do it for free since she wouldn't be riding him (and how long would it be before she was just "practicing her riding" on him?).
It is a VERY strange thing to ask just to have one day a week to "hang out" with someone's horse, and pretty much no one would ever ask to do that, and not for free. I also wondered if these are people who would take advantage, and just show up whenever thinking they could go "hang out" with him since they couldn't make on their usual day, or whatever. I like firm boundaries and no ambiguity in agreements.
When I pressed R for some more information, it just got stranger. I asked her today why these people wanted to just "hang out" with River, and she said just to get to know him better. Okayyy, but why wouldn't they just part lease him so they could straight up reserve a day a week to work with him? Apparently they didn't want to make a commitment.
Stranger yet, this teen's mother....get ready for it,....owns her own riding facility with an arena, they own tons of horses, she trains horses, and has absolute shit loads of money. Why would she be all weird and ask for a day a week to "hang out" with my horse for free? It's already kind of weird that her daughter is taking lessons with R, with my very nice but certainly not flashy boy when they could likely board a horse of their own with R and take lessons with it? They could go buy their own trusty steed, and even if their daughter lost interest in a year it could either be a lesson horse on their own place, or sell it to a client at their own barn. It makes no sense to me.
To me, it just sounds like entitlement. This kid's mom sounds like someone who is just used to getting things given to her in the hope of favors somewhere down the road or something. You know how they say rich people don't end up paying for a lot of things? Maybe this is what they expect after a while.
So, I listened to my gut, and told R that no, they can't just come "practice their groundwork" with River for free. They can talk to me about a proper part lease agreement if they want, but I want something structured with roles understood, and reasonable compensation. If they don't want to do that, then they can just "get to know" River during their scheduled lesson.
To her credit, R readily agreed that what I wanted was how we will do this. I appreciated that very much.
I did have a lesson today, with the other rider, and I was happy with the lesson. I felt that I got lots of good coaching, and a reasonable amount of R's attention. We worked on an element of ground work that we are struggling with, also worked on my other concern which was a lack of energy and responsiveness to cues in general, and when we rode we worked on my leg position and seat, and on getting River to remain forward without me nagging him with my legs to keep moving well (he has a tendency to drift down to a walk if you don't keep using your legs, but then that makes him dull to leg cues).
Then I came home and watched more "Breaking Bad".
I feel like my life has been way too dramatic lately. Like all I do is have things that hit me funny, and take up all my energy for days on end. Like a few weeks ago the neighbor lady wanting to come ride my horses and me wondering what the hell that was all about, or me getting upset over people from Buy and Sell making appointments to come pick things up and not showing, or more valid concerns like my Mom, or worrying about my elderly mare, or the new cat constantly trying to eat things he shouldn't and having to be very vigilant about everything he could possibly try to fit into his mouth, or being frustrated at the speed of the house project, or being worried about the stupid endless bank bullshit (now resolved), and on and on and on.
Would most people find these things stressful or disconcerting?
My life is this strange thing where I am at home by myself, in what most people would consider blissfully idyllic surroundings, with few really stressful pressures in my day to day life. Yet I often feel like I get upset about things, or feel unable to deal with certain things, so I am alone in my house, stressed out about something going on, often feeling unable to take effective action.
Or I am bored shitless, sometimes still while stressed out.
Every now and then I get a perfectly nice day or two, and I wonder why this isn't more my normal status.
I am grateful for River. He's not perfect, but he's a good horse and I feel like being at this barn has over all been good for us both. I am grateful for R, she is a very good coach and person over all. I am grateful for the kitties and Roxy; it is hard to feel unloved in our house with so many soft, snuggly beings. For all of the animals, really.
