Tired of drama.
Jan. 23rd, 2022 10:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gottawonderEdit: I messaged her last night, sincerely apologizing for trying to butt in and give her a perspective she wasn't looking for and trying to interpret her experience. She responded by saying she wasn't upset, and that my comment made her think about her experiences with that teacher, and that it was good for her recovery.
Wow, am I surprised! I really was expecting her to either stone-cold ignore me, or to tell me that my opinion wasn't needed.
I am relieved, because mainly I hate it when I hurt people, even if I thought it was a good idea at the time.
Now I have to work on my catastrophic thinking pattern.
I like Facebook, when it works. I mostly have a feed made up of updates from rescue groups and artists, and an ever tinier smattering of actual posts from real people. I like to get updates from my family, and since none of them ever bother to have any personal contact with me in real life except when I make a point of calling them, it is about the only way I know about events like births and graduations.
There is one person, who I do know from long ago when we had actual life experiences in person, who is very truamatized. Most of her posts are "what a narcissist will do to you" or "my family sucks and all of them should die". Endlessly.
Almost always, I just click like and move on. I sometimes commiserate.
Today she posted something about how a teacher from probably 40 years ago humiliated her by getting her to read with a group of students who were assigned to an "easy book", when she was capable of reading at a much higher level. She just never told anyone that she could read well, or spoke to her teacher, or did any of her homework.
She went on to say how the teacher should have considered that her home life was hell, and this is why she didn't care about school.
I, idiot that I am, suggested that maybe her teacher wasn't evil, or singling her out for shame and punishment. I thought that her teacher's actions seemed like...what a teacher might do in a situation where a student seemed to be having trouble completing the course material.
Of course, I am an asshole now. And I am an asshole to a third party friend too, who thought I should maybe just shut my damn mouth.
Sigh.
99.9% of the time, I just let her vent. I know she doesn't ever want to consider that she might have had some role in her own life, or that maybe not everyone she hates was actually evil. I already know from my Trainwreck sister that you really can't help anyone, ever. No one ever wants your opinion. Not ever.
I could just unfriend her, so that I don't have to see her multiple times daily screams of pain and suffering with no way of ever alleviating her emotional wounds, yet I like her posts that aren't about her mental anguish and PTSD. We share a love of animals, she's got a great sense of humor, and she's one of the few real humans that post real things on Facebook.
I guess, just shut my damn mouth?
Wow, am I surprised! I really was expecting her to either stone-cold ignore me, or to tell me that my opinion wasn't needed.
I am relieved, because mainly I hate it when I hurt people, even if I thought it was a good idea at the time.
Now I have to work on my catastrophic thinking pattern.
I like Facebook, when it works. I mostly have a feed made up of updates from rescue groups and artists, and an ever tinier smattering of actual posts from real people. I like to get updates from my family, and since none of them ever bother to have any personal contact with me in real life except when I make a point of calling them, it is about the only way I know about events like births and graduations.
There is one person, who I do know from long ago when we had actual life experiences in person, who is very truamatized. Most of her posts are "what a narcissist will do to you" or "my family sucks and all of them should die". Endlessly.
Almost always, I just click like and move on. I sometimes commiserate.
Today she posted something about how a teacher from probably 40 years ago humiliated her by getting her to read with a group of students who were assigned to an "easy book", when she was capable of reading at a much higher level. She just never told anyone that she could read well, or spoke to her teacher, or did any of her homework.
She went on to say how the teacher should have considered that her home life was hell, and this is why she didn't care about school.
I, idiot that I am, suggested that maybe her teacher wasn't evil, or singling her out for shame and punishment. I thought that her teacher's actions seemed like...what a teacher might do in a situation where a student seemed to be having trouble completing the course material.
Of course, I am an asshole now. And I am an asshole to a third party friend too, who thought I should maybe just shut my damn mouth.
Sigh.
99.9% of the time, I just let her vent. I know she doesn't ever want to consider that she might have had some role in her own life, or that maybe not everyone she hates was actually evil. I already know from my Trainwreck sister that you really can't help anyone, ever. No one ever wants your opinion. Not ever.
I could just unfriend her, so that I don't have to see her multiple times daily screams of pain and suffering with no way of ever alleviating her emotional wounds, yet I like her posts that aren't about her mental anguish and PTSD. We share a love of animals, she's got a great sense of humor, and she's one of the few real humans that post real things on Facebook.
I guess, just shut my damn mouth?
