Sunday, March 13
Mar. 14th, 2022 02:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gottawonderToday I am grateful for:
Nice weather today.
My husband did a bit of clean up in the basement. A pile of old insulation pieces, mostly.
For my Sweetie's help with trimming the goats' hooves. It has to be done fairly regularly, because in the winter especially, they don't wear down, so with goats the hoof kind of folds over the bottom and can trap manure in there. We got both of them done.
We went to see River, and that went well. He was relaxed and did well with most of our work, but for some reason wasn't staying with me through some of the Liberty work at a trot. This was a bit surprising because he's been staying right with me on this work for a quite some time now, so I wonder why today was different. Our other work was good, and we did some riding.
R was around at the end as we were finishing up, and we chatted with her for a while.
We came home and watched "Taxi" with Jimmy Fallon and Queen Latifah, made in 2004. It was fun and enjoyable. I always liked Queen Latifah in the movies she did, and I don't know if she's still acting. She did a bunch of movies in the early 2000's and mostly comedy, and she was great.
I got after my Sweetie again about the complete lack of progress in the house. For the last three or four sets of days off, he's done about three hours of work each time he comes home. Literally three hours of work every two weeks then. We are never going to get anywhere if that's all he can commit to for work. It's also been kind of prep work, like today he cleaned up some old insulation. Big Whoop! That does NOT translate into me being able to use the mudroom this spring, or move into the bedroom.
Of course, he got all defensive, and tried to lay the blame on me because I keep wanting to ride my horse....at my designated ride times that have been roughly the same for over a year now. I said that he didn't have to come with me, but I ask him to because he wasn't working on the house anyhow.
He could totally be putting four or five hours of work in before going to the barn. My ride time isn't until five pm.
He really just doesn't have the time or motivation to do anything, and everything that needs done apparently can't be done until other things happen first.
I finally cornered him on a few concrete things that could move forward by hiring our friend, if he wants to do the work. The same guy who came and cleared our driveway. At different points he has already done a lot of (paid) work for us on the house, why not get him to do some more?
Right now, our friend isn't working his usual job (he too, works contract to contract, and if no jobs in his field come up, he's not working) and could use the money, so we would be helping him too.
What we really need to do is build a set of stairs into the basement, because right now we have a hole in the floor in the addition, and have to go down a ladder to access it, or climb into a window space. So I want to make a set of proper stairs a priority because all the work we have in the basement would be possible then. Also, my husband said we can't finish the mudroom unless we finish the area around the stairs first, so to me, the stairs need to be done.
The next thing that needs to be done, is the bathroom in the basement. The reason why that has to be done is because we can't do the renovations to the upstairs bathroom without having a second finished bathroom, because the upstairs renovation will take weeks, if not longer given how things are going.
Our friend could install the downstairs bathroom (It needs walls and everything, because our basement is just an open space, but the plumbing is there), and I could mud and paint it.
Our friend could also put up the drywall in the rest of the basement.
So, tomorrow we are going to try to talk to our friend together, before my Sweetie heads back to work, and see what he is willing/able to do, and try to get something started.
Once again, I feel like my husband has been paralyzed by the work ahead of us, and just procrastinating because he's just over thinking everything, and not committing to a path of action. He gets lost in the planning stage, and is just hard to get DOING things because he lives in his head so much. In his mind, he thinks he's doing work because he's been thinking about it. Maybe because he isn't actually HERE that much, it has taken on an almost abstract form.
So, as always, I end up being the one to point out to him that nothing has actually happened in the real world, in the real not-finished house that I have to live in.
Today I learned that ancient Greek and Latin scripts did not use punctuation, lower or upper case, paragraphs, or spaces between the words. It was continuous script. That meant that there was a great deal of ambiguity in meaning and emphasis. Romans did have a dot between words. Japanese and Runic writing, both symbolic, were also problematic from a lack of punctuation and lack of grouping of concepts. Japanese writing incorporated concepts of spacing and punctuation after exposure to Western writing.
Modern concepts of punctuation and spaces etc. are credited with a much wider readership (since it was less of an art form to read text and interpret it), and greater absorption of information and comprehension. Obviously greater nuance and clarity of meaning were possible with these tools.
Spaces in Western script began about 1000 ad. Some of the ideas for shaping words came from concepts in musical notation, and by the time the Gutenberg press arrived in the 1400's, most of our modern symbols and signatures were in use. Interestingly enough, printing has almost seemed to freeze the evolution of punctuation etc. (The practice of writing and printing has had interesting repercussions on the lack of fluidity in many aspects of thought and language).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scriptio_continua#Decline
Nice weather today.
My husband did a bit of clean up in the basement. A pile of old insulation pieces, mostly.
For my Sweetie's help with trimming the goats' hooves. It has to be done fairly regularly, because in the winter especially, they don't wear down, so with goats the hoof kind of folds over the bottom and can trap manure in there. We got both of them done.
We went to see River, and that went well. He was relaxed and did well with most of our work, but for some reason wasn't staying with me through some of the Liberty work at a trot. This was a bit surprising because he's been staying right with me on this work for a quite some time now, so I wonder why today was different. Our other work was good, and we did some riding.
R was around at the end as we were finishing up, and we chatted with her for a while.
We came home and watched "Taxi" with Jimmy Fallon and Queen Latifah, made in 2004. It was fun and enjoyable. I always liked Queen Latifah in the movies she did, and I don't know if she's still acting. She did a bunch of movies in the early 2000's and mostly comedy, and she was great.
I got after my Sweetie again about the complete lack of progress in the house. For the last three or four sets of days off, he's done about three hours of work each time he comes home. Literally three hours of work every two weeks then. We are never going to get anywhere if that's all he can commit to for work. It's also been kind of prep work, like today he cleaned up some old insulation. Big Whoop! That does NOT translate into me being able to use the mudroom this spring, or move into the bedroom.
Of course, he got all defensive, and tried to lay the blame on me because I keep wanting to ride my horse....at my designated ride times that have been roughly the same for over a year now. I said that he didn't have to come with me, but I ask him to because he wasn't working on the house anyhow.
He could totally be putting four or five hours of work in before going to the barn. My ride time isn't until five pm.
He really just doesn't have the time or motivation to do anything, and everything that needs done apparently can't be done until other things happen first.
I finally cornered him on a few concrete things that could move forward by hiring our friend, if he wants to do the work. The same guy who came and cleared our driveway. At different points he has already done a lot of (paid) work for us on the house, why not get him to do some more?
Right now, our friend isn't working his usual job (he too, works contract to contract, and if no jobs in his field come up, he's not working) and could use the money, so we would be helping him too.
What we really need to do is build a set of stairs into the basement, because right now we have a hole in the floor in the addition, and have to go down a ladder to access it, or climb into a window space. So I want to make a set of proper stairs a priority because all the work we have in the basement would be possible then. Also, my husband said we can't finish the mudroom unless we finish the area around the stairs first, so to me, the stairs need to be done.
The next thing that needs to be done, is the bathroom in the basement. The reason why that has to be done is because we can't do the renovations to the upstairs bathroom without having a second finished bathroom, because the upstairs renovation will take weeks, if not longer given how things are going.
Our friend could install the downstairs bathroom (It needs walls and everything, because our basement is just an open space, but the plumbing is there), and I could mud and paint it.
Our friend could also put up the drywall in the rest of the basement.
So, tomorrow we are going to try to talk to our friend together, before my Sweetie heads back to work, and see what he is willing/able to do, and try to get something started.
Once again, I feel like my husband has been paralyzed by the work ahead of us, and just procrastinating because he's just over thinking everything, and not committing to a path of action. He gets lost in the planning stage, and is just hard to get DOING things because he lives in his head so much. In his mind, he thinks he's doing work because he's been thinking about it. Maybe because he isn't actually HERE that much, it has taken on an almost abstract form.
So, as always, I end up being the one to point out to him that nothing has actually happened in the real world, in the real not-finished house that I have to live in.
Today I learned that ancient Greek and Latin scripts did not use punctuation, lower or upper case, paragraphs, or spaces between the words. It was continuous script. That meant that there was a great deal of ambiguity in meaning and emphasis. Romans did have a dot between words. Japanese and Runic writing, both symbolic, were also problematic from a lack of punctuation and lack of grouping of concepts. Japanese writing incorporated concepts of spacing and punctuation after exposure to Western writing.
Modern concepts of punctuation and spaces etc. are credited with a much wider readership (since it was less of an art form to read text and interpret it), and greater absorption of information and comprehension. Obviously greater nuance and clarity of meaning were possible with these tools.
Spaces in Western script began about 1000 ad. Some of the ideas for shaping words came from concepts in musical notation, and by the time the Gutenberg press arrived in the 1400's, most of our modern symbols and signatures were in use. Interestingly enough, printing has almost seemed to freeze the evolution of punctuation etc. (The practice of writing and printing has had interesting repercussions on the lack of fluidity in many aspects of thought and language).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scriptio_continua#Decline
<3
Date: 2022-03-14 08:46 pm (UTC)Though I let a few No, I'll take care of that hometime repairs and projects go without mention, today's the day I do what I can to get them done without going raving mad. Granted, that isn't starting a bawth from scratch - it's only sanding a ceiling (so I can continue painting it) and taking down dried and crispy Christmas garlands.
Re: <3
Date: 2022-03-15 05:10 am (UTC)The other jobs are just as big, like building a set of stairs for the basement with walls on each side of them, and installing fir boards in the bedroom upstairs, installing flooring and cupboards and a sink in the mud room.
Big jobs meant for an actual carpenter.
I have been doing my best to try to get things started, and I am willing to assist. It's just that NOTHING is happening.
It is maddening.
My Sweetie comes home, does nothing on the house, or next to nothing, and leaves again, and I feel so angry about it I could scream.
He still thinks I am over reacting. I have now lived in this house in this state for three winters. I literally think time is just different for him.
Re: <3
Date: 2022-03-16 05:17 am (UTC)For some others, there's no real need to live in a finished home, not ever. Or, doing any kind of work or maintenance on a house is a dreaded chore. Or, the idea of making plans to add this or build that is as good as doing it. It's taken me many years to figure this out.
It's hard to imagine starting a big building job and letting it lapse completely. But I've told you about the brother-in-law who, alongside his wife, built their home from scratch in 1987. He still hasn't finished the door or window trim, but has plenty of time for pet projects.
I hope things begin to move in the right direction for you this spring.
I know what you mean about being unable to do big projects. I can't put up a roof or install a boiler, or an air conditioner. When I had disposable income, I made the decision to hire when it was time to fix or to replace, and there was never any nail-biting.
By hook or by crook, I am going to finish the "doable" job of stripping and finishing/painting the second floor mouldings, and I will finish that basement bathroom. I know how to tile a floor. There will be pictures.
Re: <3
Date: 2022-03-16 07:34 am (UTC)I can appreciate that his job is stressful, and that he wants to come home and do nothing, but we CAN'T DO THAT.
I am absolutely in favor of us doing something fun for one day when he is home, and not much gets done on the day he leaves for work, but why can't we plan to do actual work for two days? Even one well-planned day with 10 hours of work would be an improvement.
When all of the moons align and the materials are there and he gets out of his pocket of paralysis, things really do happen. Like when he finally decided to install the drywall in the addition in November, it only took him a few days of actual work. It took months of him thinking it through first.
I feel like so many stages I have had to step in. Like how he didn't recognize that it had been two years of being in talks with the bank to get a mortgage, and I intervened and talked to the bank manager. Things were wrapped up in a few weeks after that.
Or how he lost track of how long it had been since we heard from a guy at the building supply store who told my husband he might be able to do the drawings the bank needed. I called myself, and the guy said he could NOT do the drawings, and referred me to another person (my husband insisted that the original guy was still going to do it, even after he said that his software literally could not do residential plans). THAT person also fell through, but I found someone else. Once I got involved, it got done. With my husband, he was content to leave things for weeks and weeks. I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't gotten involved in that myself.
We never would have gotten our mortgage if I hadn't taken over.
Thing is, he has a very busy and responsible job that has plenty of time-sensitive deadlines, and he can't just let things sit. How does he even do that job, and then come home and have no idea how to plan the next stage of our work, or recognize when someone is taking too long to get back to us?
I imagine we will still get a fair amount done, if he gets out of his fog of inertia for a while. He seems to do work in the summer, even though he promises to do interior work in the winter, which SHOULD be possible but often does not manifest. He has already told me though, that he will not be getting a big block of time off like he did last summer.
It's just that he really doesn't manage his time well, and often we could be getting a lot more done. Even though he was home for almost three months last summer, and we did get lots done, there were still many days where nothing got done, or very little. Lots of lazy trips into town to just look at siding samples or to see if they had something, and going to three different stores. His big procrastination is to get materials for something we aren't even working on yet, because that feels like progress. Then he would push hard with help from our friends for a day or two, then nothing for a few days.
I do help a lot, when something is actually happening. I helped move all the drywall into the house, the wood for the bedroom floor into the basement, I primed the drywall, I cleaned up the enormous amount of drywall dust after the guy finished mudding and sanding, I helped find the bricks for our walkway and did a lot of work on that.
Plus I still take care of the animals and mow two acres of lawn and clean up the trees in the spring, and have a garden, etc.
Good for you making your bathroom look nice! I really do want to see pictures.
Re: <3
Date: 2022-03-16 07:45 am (UTC)Re: <3
Date: 2022-03-16 09:05 pm (UTC)I have grown tired of "unseen" eyesores.
Sometimes I have made performance art out of them, which I have then posted on Instagram.
The performance art consists of green painter's tape that serves as a label: THRESHOLD BY RATUNDERPAPER was a line of tape where a wooden threshold should have been installed. INSTALLATION BY RATUNDERPAPER was a couple of new hinges taped to the side of the bathroom door. "WAITING FOR SPRING" BY RATUNDERPAPER was my favourite; it was a tape label on a heap of old sweaters and towels that were wadded around an old air conditioner.
If I start fixing something, even badly or with only YouTube guidance, the project will usually be whisked away from me.