June 1

[gottawonder]

Today I am grateful for:

Beautiful weather.

Mom's house sold the instant it went on the market. You have to wonder if the real estate agent could have asked for a bit more $ ? At the same time, I am glad it went quickly, so as not to draw out the process of letting go, and to make things easier for Trainwreck sister. Now Mom has some cash, she doesn't have to pay the utilities or tax, and no worries about who is checking the house and making sure the lawn gets mowed etc.

A phone conversation with Sister E, and they are doing well.

Getting more planting done in one half of the garden, and watering it.

Some progress cleaning out grass on the second half.

I went for a lesson with River. We took it easy on him, but were able to practice the Liberty pattern without a halter at all, to work on halts and transitions with very little contact, and practiced the cowboy challenge style obstacle course.

Then I rode him in the pasture for a while, which was lovely.

I came home and did MORE grass pulling.

I learned that the Amazon river has no bridges at all across it's 4300 miles. In the rainy season, it can be 30 miles across, and the soil is too soft and sandy to support pilings.

https://www.cntraveler.com/story/why-the-amazon-river-cant-be-crossed-by-bridge/amp

Comments

[ratunderpaper]

That was a very quick sale!

It will be a relief to have your mother well taken care of and to know that the house won't, hm, fall into a sweet deal that would render it a hoarder's den.

[gottawonder]

Yes. There's a part of me that DID want to just give that house to my sister, because she really does need a house in town. Her trailer in the middle of nowhere is not really viable, and it is precarious in the winter. That said, there were forks in the road where she had a bit of room that she could have moved somewhere else, but it would have required that she either abandon her hoard, or deal with it.

That is still the issue she faced with buying Mom's house. Even if we gave it to her, she would have to do something with her hoard, but likely what she would have done is left it there, and her former residence would have become a millstone around her neck, and in the meantime she would have also hoarded up Mom's house.

She says that in a few years she wants to move closer to her kids, and if she moved into Mom's house, she would never get out of it.

Every scenario points to her hoarding it, and losing other opportunities.

Then we would still have to do something to support Mom financially.

[ratunderpaper]

It's probably better for TW sister to keep free from hoarding up more properties, alas. Has anyone in the family been able to help her find professional care for her issues?

[gottawonder]

TW has no interest in getting any kind of help. She won't go to AA because in our small town, it isn't very anonymous, though her issues with drinking aren't exactly a secret either. She says horrific things to me sometimes, like how she was "groped by old men" as a child, but refuses to get help. I don't know why she isn't willing to try, but truly, I don't know that she could ever stop getting therapy. As in, she has a lot to unpack.

She's resourceful enough that she never seems to hit rock bottom.

[ratunderpaper]

Hoarding is an extremely difficult problem to solve. It was once seen as part of the OCD umbrella, but psychologists don't treat it that way any more (says my psychotherapist friend).

[gottawonder]

My sister has all kinds of issues with addiction. She has smoked and drank a lot since she was maybe 13, as far as I know. She had some drug addictions, not sure if those really resolved or if she just drank more instead. She's had issues with sex, sometimes just as in not valuing herself, but also just having some really strange ideas about what is healthy. A lot of her behavior is just not meeting the average expectations we have of each other.

She had a really sweet job a few years ago at a small local landfill. More or less her job was to mow grass, to make sure people put things in the right area, and open and close the gates. That was IT. It paid well, she didn't have to deal with a lot of bullshit, and she could have gotten a pension.

She refused to wear the safety vest, and got fired.

[ratunderpaper]

Almost everyone has some kind of issue, but this sister's issues sound most frustrating because her behaviour wills them into existence. Why did she refuse to wear a safety vest?

[gottawonder]

It was one of those light mesh ones, meant just to make it easy to see you. Like what city workers wear. She said it was too hot. There were other things too, but this was something that is required by policy for her to wear, and she just wouldn't do it. That job was otherwise perfect for her, and she just couldn't do it.

[ratunderpaper]

It doesn't sound like she wanted the job (though maybe she liked the idea of having it, as opposed to doing it).

[spatzenpost]

I’m glad to hear that the house was sold so fast, Gotta. One less thing to worry about.