Just throwing this out there

[gottawonder]

Would any of you think you might be a Highly Sensitive Person?

https://highlysensitiverefuge.com/highly-sensitive-person-signs/

Comments

[sherlockishere]

Oh, yeah. On every aspect except possibly disliking change. I've had too many adventures to truly dislike change. It is stressful at the time, but I know that the stress is just a reflection of a short-term adjustment process. It doesn't stop me from planning changes.

[gottawonder]

I am uncomfortable with permanent changes, like tearing down the trailer and putting on a new house, or even some of the renovations.

I am a little uncomfortable about short term change, like not being able to start my day like I normally do. I was okay going home and staying at my Mom's house for a week, but mainly because I was still able to do my thing, mostly.

What I don't like, is having to get up at a different time to please other people, and having breakfast with them and having it made into a big deal.

Some kinds of change are okay, like new clothes, but only because I tend to see clothes as impermanent. What WOULD be a little uncomfortable is deciding I needed a new winter chore jacket, because I wear it a lot, for several years before I finally decide it is finished. Getting a new one means it has to be a careful purchase, because it needs the right pockets etc.

A lot of change is uncomfortable because it isn't your choice, often means unpleasant inconvenience, or even an end to something you liked. I don't have a break down if my favorite place to eat closes, but it still sucks.

Some kinds of change ARE a lot worse, like my Mom moving to a care facility, because of the greater implications.

I wouldn't consider travel to be "change" because it isn't permanent, but I would consider moving to be change, and very uncomfortable. I don't really like moving, unless there is very strong motivation to do so.

I am not sure if I am truly a "highly sensitive person"; most of the time environmental stimulus isn't hard on me, though it CAN be draining. I am not big on noisy crowds or busy traffic, but most people don't like those. I prefer a lot of time to myself, I don't like having my routine changed too much., I HATE other people imposing structure on my day.

I do badly with having too much to do. I tend to shut down if I feel like there is too much to do at one time. I do not thrive on deadlines for other people, though I can use them on myself.

I am not overwhelmed by strong colors or scents, but I wouldn't want to be around them all the time. I am very aware of sensory input, probably more than many people. I can be deeply moved by art, music, writing.

I do feel like I am empathetic, and that I can spend a lot of time ruminating about interactions and obsessing about them.

I have issues expressing needs and feeling safe doing so. I worry about not being liked, or even having some people retaliate if I confront them about something.

I hate failing. BIG TIME. I am not that person who can smile and say it was fun anyhow. NOPE.

I do resonate with the idea of deep processing. I feel like I really want to take things in on a level that most people don't.

I also resonate with the desire for deep connections with people, but also having a hard time letting anyone get that close.

If I don't get a good night's sleep, nothing good is going to come of the following day.

I often have strong compassionate thoughts that other people might not. Like listening to the lyrics of Aerosmith's "Sweet Emotion", and there is a line "You can't catch me 'cause the rabbit done died", which is a reference to how they used to do pregnancy tests. I end up getting really angry/sad thinking about how animals are abused by science, doing awful things to them like those pregnancy tests.

Anyhow, I read about highly sensitive people, and a lot of it I see in myself, but not all of it.

[ratunderpaper]

I'm about half and half. I do well under pressure and I'm not particularly compassionate or emotional if it concerns people.

But I don't like change (as opposed to evolvement), horror/gore films, cruelty or carelessness towards animals.

Though I appreciate beauty and strive either to create it or embody it, I resent it more than I feel overwhelmed by it. Shibumi (a quiet, understated elegance) is something I relate to more than beauty.

I've always disliked conflict. It makes me anxious.

Loud noises used to disturb me - since the heart was fixed up, I'm not as sensitive to surprises or sudden noise.

I'm not a deep thinker. I'm petty and revisionist.

[gottawonder]

I do tend to be more compassionate about animals, mainly because there is so little agency available to them. That said, I feel a lot of compassion for people with no access to agency.

I have rethought my ideas about structure, and I don't hate it if it actually helps me understand expectations or meet goals and it isn't too harsh. I do tend to need reasons for rules.

I like your distinction between change and evolving, and that is key. If one is striving in a direction and sees change, that is desirable. Having something thrust on you, even if it might work out okay, is a shock to the system.

I get INTO conflicts, and can really turn it up, but it can be very draining and often unrewarding. I don't like to get into conflicts with people I care about. I really hate being in the middle of something like someone else's marital issues. Like when you're sitting in someone else's house and they start snarking at each other.

I CAN be petty and revisionist, and I really fight with myself over it, because it is important that I own my side of anything that happened. It might take a few days before I do so, but I try.

I think I am a deep thinker. I can sit there and mull over an idea for quite some time. I think about other perspectives, like what does my horse think about me, or how does the rest of the world see me, or what does it actually feel like to be a trans person, and have a penis but feel like a woman inside? How does it work to try to date a trans person? What would it feel like to be homeless? What would it feel like to be a super sexy celebrity, and what would it be like to try and date? What would it be like to be an ant, in terms of how would they perceive the world, or a human digging up their nest? Is God a perceivable being or a metaphor for the Universe and forces of physics and chemistry? That kind of thing. Complex day dreaming.

[ratunderpaper]

I wondered something like this today watching the bull terrier eagerly digging the hole that will, with my assistance, become a place for a new climbing rose.

I wondered if he was digging FOR something (like a rat, because he is a terrier) or merely digging for the sport of it, or the joy of it. Or is he wired to dig?

Another musing: I told someone that instead of arguing whether God was more or less important than science, what if you viewed God AS science? They did not like what I said.

[gottawonder]

Also, beauty isn't always peaceful. It can be overstimulating.

[ratunderpaper]

Agree - and it can also be an illusion.

I knew someone who wanted passion because she lacked it. Her husband said "Empress," (because he called her Empress) "What do you want passion for? Passion means suffering."
He had a good point.
I don't think I have ever known or wanted passion. I have known tenacity, determination, resentment, envy, fear, and anxiety - that's quite enough, don't you think?

[gottawonder]

Passion is suffering, and I have it in buckets! Nice at times, though. I have been known to have idealism too.

[ratunderpaper]

Describe "idealism".

I can get obsessive about something I want, but it fades pretty quickly, before it becomes a passion.

[gottawonder]

I guess I still have it in me to think that very few people out there are really evil. I have come to learn that some really are evil.

I still have a vision of how the world "should" be.

I cling to being a good person instead of just looking out for myself.

I do know what you mean about causes. It breaks my heart to see injustice, or environmental issues, but all of those things seem so large. I have no idea how to engage with them meaningfully, and it always seems to come down to donating money. I don't trust very many organizations anymore, it seems like most of them are corporations that are dedicated to paying their own wages.

I have two personal experiences that showed me what a scam those "kid's camps" can be. There is no law in Canada that says a charity actually has to do anything meaningful with the money. Some of those camps can spend a ton of money and say they are still developing the concept, as in paying themselves as the director who is "still trying to bring it into being".

One lady I knew casually seemed to be a serial scam artist. She could never really explain how she paid her bills. She talked about how she and her former partner had provided two year old horses for a kid's camp (if you know anything about horses, you'd know that you don't use two year olds). Then the camp went bankrupt and they took them all back. It's almost like printing money. They go bankrupt and sell off the assets bought with donated money or grants back to themselves at a huge loss, and I don't know what happens to that money. So let's say donations pay for a new barn or a tractor, then the kid's camp never opens, and the guy buys that stuff back for himself for almost nothing.

Construction companies do the same thing. They dissolve their company and "auction" off the assets and buy it all back for a song and start a new company.

Then I went to another "kid's camp" to look into volunteering, and all I saw were run down shacks that they called the bunkhouses, and nothing else. No kids around and no programs. They looked good on paper and even had a brochure, but nothing was actually taking place. From our conversation, apparently the guy was a pilot as well as a gymnastics instructor and child psychologist. The camp was being funded by "anonymous philanthropists from Mexico". So I imagine the only talent he was really there for was being a pilot, and likely holding drugs or using the camp as a meeting place, or human trafficing.

[ratunderpaper]

I'm always surprised that I am always surprised to hear how nasty people can be.

Rabblerousing US politicians are known for their evil masquerading as good - particularly after a national tragedy or two.