Tuesday, July 5
Jul. 5th, 2022 11:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gottawonderToday I am grateful for:
My sweet animals.
I got the cat litter changed and added some water to the turtle tank before I went to see River.
I had a lesson today instead of tomorrow, because there is a mounted archery thing tomorrow that R's daughter wanted to go to, if I was willing to change lesson times, so okay.
I was overly focused today, about the upcoming obstacle class. I am supposed to do it at liberty, and I feel okay about parts of it, but not about others.
I had some specific things I wanted to address, like the fact that River often drags his feet over poles, and in obstacle classes you can lose points for hitting poles. I don't KNOW if I will lose points or not in this class, but I wanted to work on getting him to be less lazy over them.
So we worked on impulsion, which is pretty much always an issue for River. In just about everything we do, we lose points because he is slow to pick up the trot, or doesn't want to do things with a bit of energy. He CAN have energy, but more often than not he is on the lazy side, or maybe not that interested in what we are doing.
Then I had some specific questions about the box (a square made of poles on the ground) that we are supposed to turn a 360 turn inside. She clarified that it doesn't have to be a perfect pivot, and that was my concern. The box is not big enough for him to pivot on his hind end without backing up a bit.
I also asked about losing points for touching the horse, because I thought I lost points in a recent online show for touching him when I was at Liberty. I went back and looked again, and I hadn't lost points for touching him, I misread the comments when they said "a touch off of center". R said though, in general, you shouldn't touch the horse.
Then I got some help with what to do with my core so that he would turn away from me on a circle better, so that I didn't have to touch him to get him to move over. I am having a hard time not touching him at all to communicate.
In general, I am neurotic about showing. I hate losing or scoring badly. It bothers me so much. I know I am supposed to be seeing this as an opportunity to learn from it, etc. but do people really show for that reason? I feel like most people enter a show feeling like they have put the work in already, and think they could win or place. Not that they go with no fucking clue about what they are doing so that they can get feedback.
R really wants me to enter these shows, because "you learn so much from them", and she wants me to go into them with that in mind, not winning. Yes, I get that you learn a lot from showing, but I also end up obsessing over wanting to be perfect, and hating myself for days afterwards if I don't do well.
I don't really like the aspect of showing that means someone wins, and you lose.
I actually like having goals in mind when I ride, and having lessons, but showing makes me a crazy person, and I don't know how to change that. I feel like showing exposes you in your least favorable light. I cringe watching myself on the videos, and I don't feel confident. Then if I don't do well, it just confirms my feelings that we aren't doing well, and I obsess over every detail.
R is likely frustrated with me, but SHE is the one who thinks showing is what I need to do.
I hate losing. Always have. It's part of why I never did competitive sports as a kid. Losing makes me feel worthless, not "oh well, it was fun just to be there".
R doesn't tolerate poor sportsmanship, but she also won't let me bow out of showing. She loves it so much herself that she can't understand my issues. R also wins just about everything she competes in, so there's that.
I even hate losing card games or Scrabble. I won't play against my husband anymore generally, because he usually wins. At everything.
Everyone likes me to compete, and then I lose, and then they tell me how well I did. It makes no sense. I didn't do well....I LOST. No, you did great. Let's do it again.
And you know what? If you say you don't want to compete, people will treat you differently like you are broken somehow, a loser for not competing and proving you are a loser.
How about you guys? Do any of you like competing just because it's fun and you learn how to do better?
Maybe I could enjoy showing and losing too, if I could change how I feel about losing.
So River did well in our work. I think he's doing better with collecting with the bitless bridle, and getting softer in general. I really want this to work for him, because he seems happier without a bit.
After the lesson, I just hung out with him for a while in the arena and gave him scratches. It's kind of our ritual after a ride, for me to spend some time looking for itchy spots and letting him show me where he would like me to scratch.
I came home, and didn't do much because it was raining again today, and everything is just sodden mud.
I did let everyone out again for a little while.
I learned that at a 1915 auction, Cecil Chubb bought Stonehenge as a gift for his wife, but she hated it because she had sent him to buy a set of chairs. 3 years later, he gave it to his country on the conditions that the entrance fee would never cost more than a shilling and the locals could have free access.
He paid about 6600 pounds, which would be about 680,000 pounds in today's money.
It costs a lot more than a shilling to see Stonehenge, so I guess they didn't stick to the deal.
https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-34282849
My sweet animals.
I got the cat litter changed and added some water to the turtle tank before I went to see River.
I had a lesson today instead of tomorrow, because there is a mounted archery thing tomorrow that R's daughter wanted to go to, if I was willing to change lesson times, so okay.
I was overly focused today, about the upcoming obstacle class. I am supposed to do it at liberty, and I feel okay about parts of it, but not about others.
I had some specific things I wanted to address, like the fact that River often drags his feet over poles, and in obstacle classes you can lose points for hitting poles. I don't KNOW if I will lose points or not in this class, but I wanted to work on getting him to be less lazy over them.
So we worked on impulsion, which is pretty much always an issue for River. In just about everything we do, we lose points because he is slow to pick up the trot, or doesn't want to do things with a bit of energy. He CAN have energy, but more often than not he is on the lazy side, or maybe not that interested in what we are doing.
Then I had some specific questions about the box (a square made of poles on the ground) that we are supposed to turn a 360 turn inside. She clarified that it doesn't have to be a perfect pivot, and that was my concern. The box is not big enough for him to pivot on his hind end without backing up a bit.
I also asked about losing points for touching the horse, because I thought I lost points in a recent online show for touching him when I was at Liberty. I went back and looked again, and I hadn't lost points for touching him, I misread the comments when they said "a touch off of center". R said though, in general, you shouldn't touch the horse.
Then I got some help with what to do with my core so that he would turn away from me on a circle better, so that I didn't have to touch him to get him to move over. I am having a hard time not touching him at all to communicate.
In general, I am neurotic about showing. I hate losing or scoring badly. It bothers me so much. I know I am supposed to be seeing this as an opportunity to learn from it, etc. but do people really show for that reason? I feel like most people enter a show feeling like they have put the work in already, and think they could win or place. Not that they go with no fucking clue about what they are doing so that they can get feedback.
R really wants me to enter these shows, because "you learn so much from them", and she wants me to go into them with that in mind, not winning. Yes, I get that you learn a lot from showing, but I also end up obsessing over wanting to be perfect, and hating myself for days afterwards if I don't do well.
I don't really like the aspect of showing that means someone wins, and you lose.
I actually like having goals in mind when I ride, and having lessons, but showing makes me a crazy person, and I don't know how to change that. I feel like showing exposes you in your least favorable light. I cringe watching myself on the videos, and I don't feel confident. Then if I don't do well, it just confirms my feelings that we aren't doing well, and I obsess over every detail.
R is likely frustrated with me, but SHE is the one who thinks showing is what I need to do.
I hate losing. Always have. It's part of why I never did competitive sports as a kid. Losing makes me feel worthless, not "oh well, it was fun just to be there".
R doesn't tolerate poor sportsmanship, but she also won't let me bow out of showing. She loves it so much herself that she can't understand my issues. R also wins just about everything she competes in, so there's that.
I even hate losing card games or Scrabble. I won't play against my husband anymore generally, because he usually wins. At everything.
Everyone likes me to compete, and then I lose, and then they tell me how well I did. It makes no sense. I didn't do well....I LOST. No, you did great. Let's do it again.
And you know what? If you say you don't want to compete, people will treat you differently like you are broken somehow, a loser for not competing and proving you are a loser.
How about you guys? Do any of you like competing just because it's fun and you learn how to do better?
Maybe I could enjoy showing and losing too, if I could change how I feel about losing.
So River did well in our work. I think he's doing better with collecting with the bitless bridle, and getting softer in general. I really want this to work for him, because he seems happier without a bit.
After the lesson, I just hung out with him for a while in the arena and gave him scratches. It's kind of our ritual after a ride, for me to spend some time looking for itchy spots and letting him show me where he would like me to scratch.
I came home, and didn't do much because it was raining again today, and everything is just sodden mud.
I did let everyone out again for a little while.
I learned that at a 1915 auction, Cecil Chubb bought Stonehenge as a gift for his wife, but she hated it because she had sent him to buy a set of chairs. 3 years later, he gave it to his country on the conditions that the entrance fee would never cost more than a shilling and the locals could have free access.
He paid about 6600 pounds, which would be about 680,000 pounds in today's money.
It costs a lot more than a shilling to see Stonehenge, so I guess they didn't stick to the deal.
https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-34282849
no subject
Date: 2022-07-07 11:59 pm (UTC)If it's an even playing field and TALENT is involved, I would prefer to excel, thank you very much.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-08 05:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-07-11 12:21 pm (UTC)I haven't competed a lot myself, but I would like to work towards my rider's medals in Dressage and do some CDEs and WE events as well.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-11 10:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-07-12 12:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-07-12 06:04 am (UTC)