Tuesday, August 2
Aug. 2nd, 2022 11:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gottawonderToday I am grateful for:
My sweet kitties, making waking up so nice. All of our cats are pretty snuggly.
My Sweetie seems to be having a good time with his parents at their cabin at the lake. They are trying to sell it this year, as it is getting to be too much for them to drive there and do maintenance. I know he loves that place, and it was a nicer place to visit his parents than staying at their condo in the city. More room to walk and sit outside around a fire together.
Funny that his sister and her husband never seem to bother going there. They live in the same city as his parents. You'd think they would like to take the kids out there, or send them there to be with their grand-parents.
I spoke with Trainwreck sister, and she is getting sad about spending another winter in her crappy trailer.
I try not to get fooled by her helplessness though. I know that she is only there because she can't/won't give up her hoard. Her grown sons have all said that whenever she is ready, they will come and throw it all out.
One of her sons said she could come live with him, and help her find a place to live in that area.
A lady who owns a second hand shop lives close to her, and is willing to come and buy anything of resale value that my sister would part with. My sister doesn't want her to come look, because she is embarrassed (like this woman has never seen a hoard, as a seller of used furniture and collectibles?).
Trainwreck was saying that there is another resident where our Mom lives, that walks into Mom's private room all the time, and Mom has to tell her to leave. Recently this other resident has started walking into Mom's room, and giving her a smack on the shoulders and it took the other aides removing her to get her out of Mom's room.
My family has tried talking with the staff, but they can't do much. So, my family is putting in a formal complaint. It is possible that this resident needs to be in a different facility, if she is getting physical.
Here's the other thing, my Mom could fall if this woman hits her hard enough and throws her off balance. OR, my Mom could haul off and deck this woman. Mom might have issues with walking, but she has strong arms.
I can't do much from here.
Sigh.
THEN I talked to my Sister S, who is one of the two POA for Mom, about the issue.
Then Sister S tells me she has Cancer in one of her kidneys, and is scheduled to have the whole kidney removed in about two weeks. She has been having tests and such for about seven months, and wasn't ready to say anything, but getting the date for the surgery made her feel like she should say something.
As far as the doctors know, the Cancer is only in the kidney, and there is a good chance that this will get it all.
After all that, I wanted to talk about me a tiny bit, because our calls are often so grim, and all we talk about is awful things, and hardly anyone in our family ever asks me what I am doing besides when I feel frustrated about the house.
So I told her about what I am doing with River (she hardly knows anything about my riding, or the lessons about Liberty that I have been doing).
I explained the idea behind Liberty, how it is about learning to communicate without a halter or bridle, use your body more, and build a relationship so that the horse will come with you without a halter and do stuff.
She replied "well, nice if it ever happens".
I replied "It IS happening. Right now it is happening. We are doing obstacles now without a halter. I am showing a bit at Liberty".
So, I posted my most recent video on our family page on Facebook. Maybe I just don't do enough to show people what it is we do. I feel weird about it sometimes, like others might think I am bragging.
Then I went to see River, and that was nice. He was pretty sleepy. We did our ground work, and he did well. Still need to work on him staying with me to do small circles/turns. He goes too wide.
Then I rode with just the neck rope, and he did well at the figure eight, halts, and backing. I experimentally got him to do one nice side pass step, and stopped there.
I came home and let everyone out for a while. Then I pulled some weeds out of a spot that I need to mulch near the house.
I learned that Remora or the Sucker Fish were used in the Indian ocean to catch turtles. A rope was tied to the remora's tail and the fish was dropped into the water when a turtle is sighted. The remora would then swim towards the turtle to attach itself to it, the fisherman would then pull them both out.
I know that remoras also cling onto sharks, but I guess if it's a turtle going by, that is where they will head.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Remora#:~:text=10%E2%88%928%20M.-,Use%20for%20fishing,and%20turtle%20are%20hauled%20in.
My sweet kitties, making waking up so nice. All of our cats are pretty snuggly.
My Sweetie seems to be having a good time with his parents at their cabin at the lake. They are trying to sell it this year, as it is getting to be too much for them to drive there and do maintenance. I know he loves that place, and it was a nicer place to visit his parents than staying at their condo in the city. More room to walk and sit outside around a fire together.
Funny that his sister and her husband never seem to bother going there. They live in the same city as his parents. You'd think they would like to take the kids out there, or send them there to be with their grand-parents.
I spoke with Trainwreck sister, and she is getting sad about spending another winter in her crappy trailer.
I try not to get fooled by her helplessness though. I know that she is only there because she can't/won't give up her hoard. Her grown sons have all said that whenever she is ready, they will come and throw it all out.
One of her sons said she could come live with him, and help her find a place to live in that area.
A lady who owns a second hand shop lives close to her, and is willing to come and buy anything of resale value that my sister would part with. My sister doesn't want her to come look, because she is embarrassed (like this woman has never seen a hoard, as a seller of used furniture and collectibles?).
Trainwreck was saying that there is another resident where our Mom lives, that walks into Mom's private room all the time, and Mom has to tell her to leave. Recently this other resident has started walking into Mom's room, and giving her a smack on the shoulders and it took the other aides removing her to get her out of Mom's room.
My family has tried talking with the staff, but they can't do much. So, my family is putting in a formal complaint. It is possible that this resident needs to be in a different facility, if she is getting physical.
Here's the other thing, my Mom could fall if this woman hits her hard enough and throws her off balance. OR, my Mom could haul off and deck this woman. Mom might have issues with walking, but she has strong arms.
I can't do much from here.
Sigh.
THEN I talked to my Sister S, who is one of the two POA for Mom, about the issue.
Then Sister S tells me she has Cancer in one of her kidneys, and is scheduled to have the whole kidney removed in about two weeks. She has been having tests and such for about seven months, and wasn't ready to say anything, but getting the date for the surgery made her feel like she should say something.
As far as the doctors know, the Cancer is only in the kidney, and there is a good chance that this will get it all.
After all that, I wanted to talk about me a tiny bit, because our calls are often so grim, and all we talk about is awful things, and hardly anyone in our family ever asks me what I am doing besides when I feel frustrated about the house.
So I told her about what I am doing with River (she hardly knows anything about my riding, or the lessons about Liberty that I have been doing).
I explained the idea behind Liberty, how it is about learning to communicate without a halter or bridle, use your body more, and build a relationship so that the horse will come with you without a halter and do stuff.
She replied "well, nice if it ever happens".
I replied "It IS happening. Right now it is happening. We are doing obstacles now without a halter. I am showing a bit at Liberty".
So, I posted my most recent video on our family page on Facebook. Maybe I just don't do enough to show people what it is we do. I feel weird about it sometimes, like others might think I am bragging.
Then I went to see River, and that was nice. He was pretty sleepy. We did our ground work, and he did well. Still need to work on him staying with me to do small circles/turns. He goes too wide.
Then I rode with just the neck rope, and he did well at the figure eight, halts, and backing. I experimentally got him to do one nice side pass step, and stopped there.
I came home and let everyone out for a while. Then I pulled some weeds out of a spot that I need to mulch near the house.
I learned that Remora or the Sucker Fish were used in the Indian ocean to catch turtles. A rope was tied to the remora's tail and the fish was dropped into the water when a turtle is sighted. The remora would then swim towards the turtle to attach itself to it, the fisherman would then pull them both out.
I know that remoras also cling onto sharks, but I guess if it's a turtle going by, that is where they will head.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Remora#:~:text=10%E2%88%928%20M.-,Use%20for%20fishing,and%20turtle%20are%20hauled%20in.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-03 06:27 am (UTC)A woman tried incessantly to push herself into Lois's room at her last residence. The woman was there as a "last resort", as she was not elderly and no-one could figure out how or why she'd lost her faculties. I was somewhat concerned that Lois would feel she'd had enough at some point and might cause a brouhaha.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-03 06:39 am (UTC)I know her hoard must seem so overwhelming, but when she talks about getting rid of things, she really wants to touch and have every last thing go to the right place. She has bags and bags of clothes that are likely just ruined, boxes and boxes of magazines from every decade, jars, picture frames, I don't even know what.
It is hard to imagine that all of it is personal to her. Most of it she likely got from the dump, or that people were throwing it away. She could just give it all away, but she doesn't want anyone to see her place. She'll say she's going to sell something, but how? She doesn't put up any ads, or talk to other people, and she won't have a yard sale.
I know this is an addiction, but it is frustrating.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-03 07:09 am (UTC)The nasty part of it is that the stuff they see as valuable is stored away in heaps and boxes. They couldn't enjoy their museum even if they wanted to.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-03 09:34 am (UTC)I have a lot of lovely older things, that I picked up, and I probably could get rid of them if I thought someone else would use them or display them.
I don't see feeling that way about bags of rotten baby clothes that I never used on my children, that I found at a yard sale thinking I MIGHT one day give them to someone. Or boxes of books that got chewed by mice. Or piles of those cheap pots that plants are sold in, half of them broken. Or more aquariums than I will ever fill with fish. Or piles and boxes of dishes, pots, glasses that I never used and will not need.
I know that it comes from trauma, and I wish she would get some help.
Thank you, by the way, for continuing to engage with me in these conversations. I almost forget sometimes that other people do read these posts, and I'm sure they get repetitive. These are long-standing problems in my family, and they're not likely to go away.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-03 06:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-03 10:06 pm (UTC)Yes, at some point though, we do have to make decisions about things. Either passing them on or getting rid of them.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-04 04:42 am (UTC)This goes for displaying items that have no personal meaning or value of any kind. If it's only for show, it's not worth keeping.
I have a small collection of Jack and Jill magazines from childhood, but I enjoy revisiting them from time to time. I got great pleasure out of making Christmas gifts from the THINGS TO MAKE AND DO section in December.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-03 06:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-03 10:14 pm (UTC)