Tuesday, August 30
Aug. 30th, 2022 11:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gottawonderToday I am grateful for:
Warm and sunny, but not awful.
The contractor and his wife were working in the basement today, but it was quieter work.
The contractor seems to think I am either confused or loopy all the time, when I am neither. I think he doesn't understand my humor at all, and if I make a joke he seems to perceive it as mental illness.
I am not confused, but the pace that he wants me to make decisions about things that I literally have not even considered yet, or was aware that a decision needed to be made is very fast.
When I spoke to him today, in less than an hour, I had to process the fact that the finish on the exterior doors was NOT going to look like wood grain, but would be plain fiberglass with a wood grain TEXTURE, and that we would have to paint them. My husband didn't realize that either. The contractor did not make that clear to us before, and it said nothing about that in the online catalog. This rapid shift in thinking does not make me confused or mentally ill.
Then, he wants me to decide on the color for the hardware for the interior doors that we will be using downstairs, instantly. Then, in the same few moments, I have to decide how they will open into the rooms, because it will matter whether the knob is on the left or right, and the same for the hinges. (I had to consult with my husband on that one). Apparently he needed me to make this decision on ALL the doors, even though for every room except for one the doors HAD to open to the left.
Then he needed to explain to me his need to use drywall above the basement shower instead of T-frame and tile because of moisture, which I understood and was not confused in any way about. Then he wanted to know how I wanted to center the basement bathroom vanity, and the lights I wanted on each side of it.
I was TRYING TO LEAVE because I had to meet my husband with his work laptop that he forgot yesterday, but the contractor kept coming back with more and more details I had to make snap decisions on.
After a while, I just looked at him, and said "Do I really have to have the answers to all of these things RIGHT NOW?", and he said no, of course not, he had lots to do at the moment.
Geez!
Then apparently he must have called my husband and talked to him, because when I met my husband with the laptop, he was laughing about how the contractor thought I was confused about everything.
I don't know how these things normally work, but I wouldn't think you usually had to make ten decisions about design on your home in an hour, as you were trying to get out the door.
Anyhow, I did have to go to town and pick up the mail, get dog food, and I managed to go to the thrift store before I then drove to a town I don't usually go to, to meet my husband. I had to meet him after his work day.
THEN I drove a route I never take, from this other town to get to the riding barn to see River. We were much later than usual, and I didn't have a lot of time to work with him tonight.
At least it was cooler, because it was after 8 pm.
River had his happy face on, because they were in the other pasture with fresh grass.
He did well on our Liberty/groundwork, and I rode with the neck rope for a while and even got a bit of turn on the hindquarters and a tiny bit of side pass.
I talked to R about the money raised from the bracelets I made, and they have made $110 dollars towards the rescue horse that R is working with. The money will go towards a chiropractor appointment for him!
Today I learned about'Project 100,000', a Vietnam era program to recruit 100,000 men a year to fight America's war in southeast Asia. Many of the recruits were illiterate, had IQs of less than 70, or suffered from other mental or physical impairments. Thousands of the recruits died in combat.
https://taskandpurpose.com/history/project-100000-vietnam/
"These men were aggressively recruited and pushed through training without having met even the bare minimum of standards set for them. They were sent into combat in large numbers and many died. They were promised greater benefits and opportunities as an incentive to join the military, but those who returned alive came home to broken promises and were abandoned by the government. It’s a largely forgotten and shameful chapter in American history.
Robert McNamara and the Johnson Administration sold Project 100,000 as an expansion of Great Society welfare programs where poor, mentally disabled men could learn important life skills. Labor Secretary Daniel Moynihan said, “Expectations of what can be done in America are receding. Our best hope is to use the Armed Forces as a socializing experience for the poor.” "
Many of these men were unable to read or write, and yet took a test supposedly to determine their suitability for service. They likely had no understanding of what the war was about, where they were going, and probably didn't learn much about how to stay live. They went straight to the front lines.
Warm and sunny, but not awful.
The contractor and his wife were working in the basement today, but it was quieter work.
The contractor seems to think I am either confused or loopy all the time, when I am neither. I think he doesn't understand my humor at all, and if I make a joke he seems to perceive it as mental illness.
I am not confused, but the pace that he wants me to make decisions about things that I literally have not even considered yet, or was aware that a decision needed to be made is very fast.
When I spoke to him today, in less than an hour, I had to process the fact that the finish on the exterior doors was NOT going to look like wood grain, but would be plain fiberglass with a wood grain TEXTURE, and that we would have to paint them. My husband didn't realize that either. The contractor did not make that clear to us before, and it said nothing about that in the online catalog. This rapid shift in thinking does not make me confused or mentally ill.
Then, he wants me to decide on the color for the hardware for the interior doors that we will be using downstairs, instantly. Then, in the same few moments, I have to decide how they will open into the rooms, because it will matter whether the knob is on the left or right, and the same for the hinges. (I had to consult with my husband on that one). Apparently he needed me to make this decision on ALL the doors, even though for every room except for one the doors HAD to open to the left.
Then he needed to explain to me his need to use drywall above the basement shower instead of T-frame and tile because of moisture, which I understood and was not confused in any way about. Then he wanted to know how I wanted to center the basement bathroom vanity, and the lights I wanted on each side of it.
I was TRYING TO LEAVE because I had to meet my husband with his work laptop that he forgot yesterday, but the contractor kept coming back with more and more details I had to make snap decisions on.
After a while, I just looked at him, and said "Do I really have to have the answers to all of these things RIGHT NOW?", and he said no, of course not, he had lots to do at the moment.
Geez!
Then apparently he must have called my husband and talked to him, because when I met my husband with the laptop, he was laughing about how the contractor thought I was confused about everything.
I don't know how these things normally work, but I wouldn't think you usually had to make ten decisions about design on your home in an hour, as you were trying to get out the door.
Anyhow, I did have to go to town and pick up the mail, get dog food, and I managed to go to the thrift store before I then drove to a town I don't usually go to, to meet my husband. I had to meet him after his work day.
THEN I drove a route I never take, from this other town to get to the riding barn to see River. We were much later than usual, and I didn't have a lot of time to work with him tonight.
At least it was cooler, because it was after 8 pm.
River had his happy face on, because they were in the other pasture with fresh grass.
He did well on our Liberty/groundwork, and I rode with the neck rope for a while and even got a bit of turn on the hindquarters and a tiny bit of side pass.
I talked to R about the money raised from the bracelets I made, and they have made $110 dollars towards the rescue horse that R is working with. The money will go towards a chiropractor appointment for him!
Today I learned about'Project 100,000', a Vietnam era program to recruit 100,000 men a year to fight America's war in southeast Asia. Many of the recruits were illiterate, had IQs of less than 70, or suffered from other mental or physical impairments. Thousands of the recruits died in combat.
https://taskandpurpose.com/history/project-100000-vietnam/
"These men were aggressively recruited and pushed through training without having met even the bare minimum of standards set for them. They were sent into combat in large numbers and many died. They were promised greater benefits and opportunities as an incentive to join the military, but those who returned alive came home to broken promises and were abandoned by the government. It’s a largely forgotten and shameful chapter in American history.
Robert McNamara and the Johnson Administration sold Project 100,000 as an expansion of Great Society welfare programs where poor, mentally disabled men could learn important life skills. Labor Secretary Daniel Moynihan said, “Expectations of what can be done in America are receding. Our best hope is to use the Armed Forces as a socializing experience for the poor.” "
Many of these men were unable to read or write, and yet took a test supposedly to determine their suitability for service. They likely had no understanding of what the war was about, where they were going, and probably didn't learn much about how to stay live. They went straight to the front lines.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-31 05:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-31 08:51 pm (UTC)After talking with my husband, a lot of what the contractor and I talked about had already been decided too, he was just double-checking with me, but it felt like I was expected to make decisions.
It felt like too much all at once.
I also can't make a lot of those decisions without talking to my husband. It's his house too.
I would be pretty frustrated with a contractor that brought over one tile and hoped that would be good enough!
At the same time, from the contractor's perspective, I understand them needing to know your decisions in a timely manner as work is progressing. They're trying to do a job and get paid.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-31 07:06 pm (UTC)Project 100,000 is horrifying, but it shouldn't surprise me.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-31 08:43 pm (UTC)I don't think I'm being difficult. I haven't changed my mind five times about anything, nor am I horribly picky (though it would be fine if I were).
It isn't easy at the best of times to make decisions about something like a fairly long term change to your home, and in the last two weeks we've made decisions about the style of exterior windows, the toilet, vanity/sink, tub surround and lights for the downstairs bathroom, and style of exterior doors.
These are EXPENSIVE, pretty long term decisions, and I have made them fairly quickly.
Some of the details, like which way the interior doors need to open into a room...I just hadn't given much thought, but once you make that decision the doors will be made that way, and you'd have to buy new doors if you change your mind. It takes a minute.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-31 08:48 pm (UTC)I spent most of the night dreaming I had to find a way to finish the edge of the bump-out where it meets the edge of the window casing. It took that long, and it made for unpleasant dreams, but I finally got it. (Cove moulding.)