Thursday, September 15
Sep. 16th, 2022 02:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gottawonderToday I am grateful for:
Another trip around the sun under my belt, and it was a good day.
A few days ago, I was not very happy to discover that the nephew was still going to be here on my birthday. As much as I enjoy his presence, I had it in my head that it would be my husband and I on my birthday so that we weren't trying to entertain a guest.
My husband had apparently said to his sister (mother of said nephew) that a visit where he went home "midweek" would be good with us. So, I said to my husband that that IS very vague, and he probably should have actually said we had plans together.
Well, anyhow, this is kind of my husband. It's a combination of being uncomfortable setting boundaries and wanting to please people that leads to this kind of misunderstanding. He just couldn't be firm.
It bothers me that in a way, it's not making a priority of my birthday. When it dawned on him that his nephew was still going to be here, he even said "how about we just celebrate your birthday next time I'm home, and we'll take the nephew to the city tomorrow so he can do the things he wants to do while he's here".
This is all part of a well-noted pattern with my husband of not honoring any kind of special day. The only reason he even cares at all about things like our anniversary or birthdays or ANYTHING is because I care. If I never said anything, he might not even remember my birthday or our anniversary. I don't think he knows his parent's birthdays at all.
At the same time, it ended up being just fine having the nephew here.
I didn't make a big deal out of it being my birthday, there didn't seem to be a point.
The nephew wanted to go to the giant mall in the city today, and we figured, why not.
First we stopped in at...you guessed it...a home improvement store. This is the place we went last time that had the door I liked, and it turns out it is no longer available. Figures. We did find another door that we both liked, and the wood appearance is good on it as well. We are looking into the prices and options etc. It would be nice to have that settled.
From there we went to the giant mall.
I had a few destinations in there that appealed to me, so the nephew spent some time wandering around with us, and we had some time where he wandered around on his own while my Sweetie and I did our own thing. It worked out just fine.
We ate at the food court, which isn't exactly a special birthday thing, but it was okay.
I did find things for my birthday present, and after the mall we went to our favorite used book store and found some treasure.
We did our other fun thing at this mall, which was to go to the big Asian food store, and we found some fun things to try. I got some not-meat jerky, and it is pretty good. We also tried some "bubble tea cakes" when we got home, and they remind me of fig newtons.
I recently read "The Fifth Wave" and enjoyed it, so I was able to find the two other books in the trilogy, as well as the new Stephen King novel "A Fairy Tale" which I am looking forward to reading. He wrote a kind of fantasy novel many years ago called "Eye of the Dragon" which was very different for him, and might be my favorite novel by him.
We came home and watched the newest "Dune" movie. I have tried to watch that thing three times now, and I really like it, but I always fall asleep in it. It is just a long movie, and everyone talks in these forced "dramatic whisper" voices.
So, I ended up having a pretty good day, even if it didn't really focus on it being my birthday.
I had lots of birthday wishes through Facebook, and that was nice. That's probably one of the good things about Facebook, is that people can easily give and receive birthday wishes.
I learned about the Codex Mendoza, an Aztec codex, believed to have been created around the year 1541.[1] It contains a history of both the Aztec rulers and their conquests as well as a description of the daily life of pre-conquest Aztec society. The codex is written in the Nahuatl language utilizing traditional Aztec pictograms with a translation and explanation of the text provided in Spanish. It is named after Don Antonio de Mendoza (1495-1552), the viceroy of New Spain, who supervised its creation and a leading patron of native artists.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codex_Mendoza
Another trip around the sun under my belt, and it was a good day.
A few days ago, I was not very happy to discover that the nephew was still going to be here on my birthday. As much as I enjoy his presence, I had it in my head that it would be my husband and I on my birthday so that we weren't trying to entertain a guest.
My husband had apparently said to his sister (mother of said nephew) that a visit where he went home "midweek" would be good with us. So, I said to my husband that that IS very vague, and he probably should have actually said we had plans together.
Well, anyhow, this is kind of my husband. It's a combination of being uncomfortable setting boundaries and wanting to please people that leads to this kind of misunderstanding. He just couldn't be firm.
It bothers me that in a way, it's not making a priority of my birthday. When it dawned on him that his nephew was still going to be here, he even said "how about we just celebrate your birthday next time I'm home, and we'll take the nephew to the city tomorrow so he can do the things he wants to do while he's here".
This is all part of a well-noted pattern with my husband of not honoring any kind of special day. The only reason he even cares at all about things like our anniversary or birthdays or ANYTHING is because I care. If I never said anything, he might not even remember my birthday or our anniversary. I don't think he knows his parent's birthdays at all.
At the same time, it ended up being just fine having the nephew here.
I didn't make a big deal out of it being my birthday, there didn't seem to be a point.
The nephew wanted to go to the giant mall in the city today, and we figured, why not.
First we stopped in at...you guessed it...a home improvement store. This is the place we went last time that had the door I liked, and it turns out it is no longer available. Figures. We did find another door that we both liked, and the wood appearance is good on it as well. We are looking into the prices and options etc. It would be nice to have that settled.
From there we went to the giant mall.
I had a few destinations in there that appealed to me, so the nephew spent some time wandering around with us, and we had some time where he wandered around on his own while my Sweetie and I did our own thing. It worked out just fine.
We ate at the food court, which isn't exactly a special birthday thing, but it was okay.
I did find things for my birthday present, and after the mall we went to our favorite used book store and found some treasure.
We did our other fun thing at this mall, which was to go to the big Asian food store, and we found some fun things to try. I got some not-meat jerky, and it is pretty good. We also tried some "bubble tea cakes" when we got home, and they remind me of fig newtons.
I recently read "The Fifth Wave" and enjoyed it, so I was able to find the two other books in the trilogy, as well as the new Stephen King novel "A Fairy Tale" which I am looking forward to reading. He wrote a kind of fantasy novel many years ago called "Eye of the Dragon" which was very different for him, and might be my favorite novel by him.
We came home and watched the newest "Dune" movie. I have tried to watch that thing three times now, and I really like it, but I always fall asleep in it. It is just a long movie, and everyone talks in these forced "dramatic whisper" voices.
So, I ended up having a pretty good day, even if it didn't really focus on it being my birthday.
I had lots of birthday wishes through Facebook, and that was nice. That's probably one of the good things about Facebook, is that people can easily give and receive birthday wishes.
I learned about the Codex Mendoza, an Aztec codex, believed to have been created around the year 1541.[1] It contains a history of both the Aztec rulers and their conquests as well as a description of the daily life of pre-conquest Aztec society. The codex is written in the Nahuatl language utilizing traditional Aztec pictograms with a translation and explanation of the text provided in Spanish. It is named after Don Antonio de Mendoza (1495-1552), the viceroy of New Spain, who supervised its creation and a leading patron of native artists.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codex_Mendoza
no subject
Date: 2022-09-17 03:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-09-17 06:49 am (UTC)It was a good day anyhow, but what I need is him actually thinking that it is my birthday, what would I need to do to make it special, not "My nephew wants to go to the city today, and we'll go to the mall since that is what he wants to do. We can do your birthday some other time."
My husband means well, but it makes me feel like my birthday is not important.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-17 07:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-09-17 07:19 am (UTC)I did say it was my birthday, in a low-key way.
I decided to have a good day anyhow, and it worked out. I don't know if my husband will ever be consistent about honoring important days. He manages sometimes, but it almost seems like it's just by chance, not design.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-21 01:25 pm (UTC)It sounds like a decent birthday, even with a house guest.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-21 09:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-09-25 03:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-09-26 06:00 am (UTC)