Friday, December 9
Dec. 10th, 2022 12:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gottawonderToday I am grateful for:
Continued reasonable temperatures.
I miss seeing Fatty. His spot at the end of bed is empty when I get up, and he is not sitting under the foot stool when I am at the computer. He is not rolling around on the floor wrestling with Roxy, and he is not walking all over the key board. The syringe I was using to try to get water into his mouth the last day was still sitting on top of the tall water jug when I refilled it today. I have bags of special treats that I only bought to try to get him to eat. The special conditioner I bought to help untangle his mats is still sitting on the desk. The towels I used to wipe his chin are still sitting, awaiting laundering. I am still surprised at not seeing him when the alarm goes off for his night time meds that I timed to go with their supper.
I miss him.
R wanted me to ride earlier today, to accommodate the two sisters who have a lesson time at 7 pm. Today they wanted to come at 6, and because there are two of them, I have to be out of the arena when they have a lesson because it is too crowded. I would normally try to be there by about 5, so today I got there earlier.
I don't think R or K are very pleased with them for changing the lesson time. It throws their schedule off too, and it sets a precedent. I know that I don't enjoy being asked on short notice to change my ride time. They both thanked me for being flexible, and apologized for needing to ask me, which is courteous.
In the summer this isn't much of an issue because I could always ride somewhere else outside, but winter makes it fussier.
So I did my thing, and River was distracted again about thoughts of feed. We did okay at our work, but it is tough when he's like this.
So then the sisters show up for their lesson. Late. They asked for an earlier time, and show up late. I have a feeling that there will be a conversation about this.
My Sweetie says he got a few people from work to go tobogganing together at the local hill, and apparently everyone had a good time. Maybe they'll do it again.
I have to give him credit for doing his best to do something outside for a while most days after work. He's been taking a few people out snow shoeing, or he walks, or something. He has a bike set up indoors for the really awful days.
I am pretty frustrated about the stocks again. The ones that he got when we lived in the U.S. They are stocks in the company he worked for, as part of the employment bonus. Like a retirement package.
We don't get much information about those stocks, so I have no idea if they even worth more than when we got them. I have a feeling that they would have been worth much more if we had sold them 15 years ago when we moved, and invested them in a mutual fund.
My concern has been about consolidating our savings so that we know what we have, and can plan for the future. Those stocks have been a complete mystery these last 15 years, and they are also going to be extremely difficult to sell and get the money into Canada, apparently.
I know this sounds harsh, but my husband isn't somehow going to get more ambitious when he is older, and since it is all in his name only, I wouldn't be able to do anything to get that money back unless he died. And that would have it's own challenges.
My husband's reluctance to do anything about it boils down to one thing: we may end up paying taxes on the money from selling those stocks, which seems unfair to him because he says we were already taxed on the money used to buy them.
I am at a point where I am like, so what? Will that magically change in another twenty years? Likely not.
Right now, the process has halted, because my husband needs to make a phone call and get some information about the account. The person on our end can't proceed without it. My husband hasn't done anything towards making that phone call for almost two months now because....he is at work.
I am pretty unhappy about that because he does have two days every two weeks that fall on business days that he can make that call. He's had several opportunities. He literally gets up hours ahead of me, and just sits in front of the computer. He could have called.
Once again, when he makes that call, no doubt it will also be another round of phone/email tag with the guy from the bank. Then undoubtedly he will want...more information.
THIS CAN'T BE THAT HARD!!!!! PEOPLE SELL STOCKS ALL THE DAMN TIME!!!! EVEN FROM THE UNITED STATES!!!
So, once again I have to become the angry horrible person that screams until something gets done. If I don't, you know what would happen? My husband would never think about it again. Never. Even when we got old, he would just shrug and go "oh well". He couldn't be bothered. To him, it's fine. It's money we have out there somewhere, and it's fine where it is.
I am sick of him doing this. I wonder if I can literally have every financial thing we have in my name and my name only so we can actually manage our finances properly.
I had an otherwise quiet evening, mostly reading.
I learned that in a way, an octopus has nine brains. The central brain, and highly developed neural pathways that control the tentacles.
The nervous system is complex, only part of which is localised in its brain, which is contained in a cartilaginous capsule.[51] Two-thirds of an octopus's neurons are in the nerve cords of its arms; these are capable of complex reflex actions without input from the brain.[52] Unlike vertebrates, the complex motor skills of octopuses are not organised in their brains via internal somatotopic maps of their bodies.[53]
From Wikipedia.
Also, they have three hearts, and very different blood.
Octopuses have three hearts; a systemic or main heart that circulates blood around the body and two branchial or gill hearts that pump it through each of the two gills. The systemic heart is inactive when the animal is swimming and thus it tires quickly and prefers to crawl.[39][40] Octopus blood contains the copper-rich protein haemocyanin to transport oxygen. This makes the blood very viscous and it requires considerable pressure to pump it around the body; octopuses' blood pressures can exceed 75 mmHg (10 kPa).[39][40][41] In cold conditions with low oxygen levels, haemocyanin transports oxygen more efficiently than haemoglobin. The haemocyanin is dissolved in the plasma instead of being carried within blood cells, and gives the blood a bluish colour.[39][40]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Octopus
Continued reasonable temperatures.
I miss seeing Fatty. His spot at the end of bed is empty when I get up, and he is not sitting under the foot stool when I am at the computer. He is not rolling around on the floor wrestling with Roxy, and he is not walking all over the key board. The syringe I was using to try to get water into his mouth the last day was still sitting on top of the tall water jug when I refilled it today. I have bags of special treats that I only bought to try to get him to eat. The special conditioner I bought to help untangle his mats is still sitting on the desk. The towels I used to wipe his chin are still sitting, awaiting laundering. I am still surprised at not seeing him when the alarm goes off for his night time meds that I timed to go with their supper.
I miss him.
R wanted me to ride earlier today, to accommodate the two sisters who have a lesson time at 7 pm. Today they wanted to come at 6, and because there are two of them, I have to be out of the arena when they have a lesson because it is too crowded. I would normally try to be there by about 5, so today I got there earlier.
I don't think R or K are very pleased with them for changing the lesson time. It throws their schedule off too, and it sets a precedent. I know that I don't enjoy being asked on short notice to change my ride time. They both thanked me for being flexible, and apologized for needing to ask me, which is courteous.
In the summer this isn't much of an issue because I could always ride somewhere else outside, but winter makes it fussier.
So I did my thing, and River was distracted again about thoughts of feed. We did okay at our work, but it is tough when he's like this.
So then the sisters show up for their lesson. Late. They asked for an earlier time, and show up late. I have a feeling that there will be a conversation about this.
My Sweetie says he got a few people from work to go tobogganing together at the local hill, and apparently everyone had a good time. Maybe they'll do it again.
I have to give him credit for doing his best to do something outside for a while most days after work. He's been taking a few people out snow shoeing, or he walks, or something. He has a bike set up indoors for the really awful days.
I am pretty frustrated about the stocks again. The ones that he got when we lived in the U.S. They are stocks in the company he worked for, as part of the employment bonus. Like a retirement package.
We don't get much information about those stocks, so I have no idea if they even worth more than when we got them. I have a feeling that they would have been worth much more if we had sold them 15 years ago when we moved, and invested them in a mutual fund.
My concern has been about consolidating our savings so that we know what we have, and can plan for the future. Those stocks have been a complete mystery these last 15 years, and they are also going to be extremely difficult to sell and get the money into Canada, apparently.
I know this sounds harsh, but my husband isn't somehow going to get more ambitious when he is older, and since it is all in his name only, I wouldn't be able to do anything to get that money back unless he died. And that would have it's own challenges.
My husband's reluctance to do anything about it boils down to one thing: we may end up paying taxes on the money from selling those stocks, which seems unfair to him because he says we were already taxed on the money used to buy them.
I am at a point where I am like, so what? Will that magically change in another twenty years? Likely not.
Right now, the process has halted, because my husband needs to make a phone call and get some information about the account. The person on our end can't proceed without it. My husband hasn't done anything towards making that phone call for almost two months now because....he is at work.
I am pretty unhappy about that because he does have two days every two weeks that fall on business days that he can make that call. He's had several opportunities. He literally gets up hours ahead of me, and just sits in front of the computer. He could have called.
Once again, when he makes that call, no doubt it will also be another round of phone/email tag with the guy from the bank. Then undoubtedly he will want...more information.
THIS CAN'T BE THAT HARD!!!!! PEOPLE SELL STOCKS ALL THE DAMN TIME!!!! EVEN FROM THE UNITED STATES!!!
So, once again I have to become the angry horrible person that screams until something gets done. If I don't, you know what would happen? My husband would never think about it again. Never. Even when we got old, he would just shrug and go "oh well". He couldn't be bothered. To him, it's fine. It's money we have out there somewhere, and it's fine where it is.
I am sick of him doing this. I wonder if I can literally have every financial thing we have in my name and my name only so we can actually manage our finances properly.
I had an otherwise quiet evening, mostly reading.
I learned that in a way, an octopus has nine brains. The central brain, and highly developed neural pathways that control the tentacles.
The nervous system is complex, only part of which is localised in its brain, which is contained in a cartilaginous capsule.[51] Two-thirds of an octopus's neurons are in the nerve cords of its arms; these are capable of complex reflex actions without input from the brain.[52] Unlike vertebrates, the complex motor skills of octopuses are not organised in their brains via internal somatotopic maps of their bodies.[53]
From Wikipedia.
Also, they have three hearts, and very different blood.
Octopuses have three hearts; a systemic or main heart that circulates blood around the body and two branchial or gill hearts that pump it through each of the two gills. The systemic heart is inactive when the animal is swimming and thus it tires quickly and prefers to crawl.[39][40] Octopus blood contains the copper-rich protein haemocyanin to transport oxygen. This makes the blood very viscous and it requires considerable pressure to pump it around the body; octopuses' blood pressures can exceed 75 mmHg (10 kPa).[39][40][41] In cold conditions with low oxygen levels, haemocyanin transports oxygen more efficiently than haemoglobin. The haemocyanin is dissolved in the plasma instead of being carried within blood cells, and gives the blood a bluish colour.[39][40]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Octopus
no subject
Date: 2022-12-10 09:05 am (UTC)Perhaps Sweetie can agree to put half the stocks in your name. If he does, you can do whatever you like with your half and he can do as he pleases with his - or not, as the case may be. You'd have peace of mnd and some financial autonomy.
Sometimes it keeps life more peaceful if we can have a bit of control over our own finances; life is tricky enough as it is.
I had all kinds of altruistic plans for the last part of Lois's estate (the bonds), but decided that doling it out without having a say in the way I thought it should be used was not going to sit well with me in the long run. (I could hear Lois's voice telling me not to do it.)
I don't have the constant stream of assignments that once was, well, constant. It's better to have some measure of security, even if it's modest. I have an investment advisor now, and that seems like the sort of thing Lois always encouraged.
no subject
Date: 2022-12-10 10:58 am (UTC)It is for both our sake, not just mine. To have our finances easy to manage and uncluttered will make life easier down the road. He's had all kinds of small pensions and life insurance through work that were not contributed to after he changed jobs over the years, and those got annoying to deal with and it makes it harder to assess what we actually have. They can also be easily lost track of if we changed addresses. I got him to consolidate those to get them tidied up, and it made life easier.
All I want is to clean up our finances, and stop having all of these stupid loose threads from other jobs. Having American held stocks and our American bank account serve no purpose.
You are right about the losses. They don't get easier. I guess that's better than not caring anymore.
no subject
Date: 2022-12-10 09:49 pm (UTC)Even when Lois started to get a bit slippy, she was prepared. And as prepared as we were, the bank STILL made an effort to draw out the estate process for as long as they could, and for no real reason. The estates department wanted to ask for proof of her divorce papers from the 70s before turning the account to me - even though her will was crystal clear. That's absolute rubbish.
You're right to make a point of fixing this, though I hope it doesn't have to devolve into shouting on your part. Stick to your guns.
Loss and grief complicate one's clear thinking, so there's that as well - a future caveat.
no subject
Date: 2022-12-11 04:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-12-11 04:07 am (UTC)A will offers some peace of mind - not a lot, but some.