Wednesday, January 4
Jan. 5th, 2023 01:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gottawonderToday I am grateful for:
More decent, moderate weather.
It felt nice doing chores today (and other recent days) when it is REASONABLE outside, and normal winter gear is enough to keep you warm, and the animals are comfortable.
I went to see River tonight, and we had a lesson. This was a good opportunity to work with R to problem solve the gate obstacle. She and I came to the same conclusion; that to some degree River was now so sensitive to my seat that reaching over to pick up the rope and other movements like that were confusing to him.
The proposed solution is to teach him to halt, and then show him that while he is "halted", movements of my legs and seat are to be ignored. Then, give him a release word so that he knows he can respect them again.
I didn't know you could even do that, but I guess you can. So that's part of our homework.
The rest is to do each movement required for the gate gradually, building on the first halt. It's kind of what I was already doing.
Something we talked about in the lesson today was awareness. The kind of awareness as the "leader" that notices small expressions in the horse, or discomforts, and acknowledges them.
Like the moment a horse relaxes and does the lick and chew, you pause and let them process.
We've been doing that all along with this trainer, trying to become more aware of small expressions, and showing the horse that we see them. It makes the horse feel safer with you, because that is what leaders in a herd see, and respond to.
On my drive home from the barn, I got thinking about how people we LIKE do this for us. My husband sees my face change when something is good or not good. If I'm walking around with a scowl, sometimes he sees that and looks for a way to help me with whatever is going on. If I am in a good mood, he might find a way to acknowledge that too. Or if I was worried about something and I visibly relax when we talk about a solution.
I knew that R and I would be working on the rope gate obstacle today, because she saw me having trouble with it yesterday when we were riding together. It may have seemed like she was focused on working with her horse, but I knew she would see the issues I was having. I didn't even have to say it out loud, but I knew she would bring it up because she saw it.
I feel like too often, we may pick up the distress or frustrations of those around us, but we are trained to ignore it, or disregard it. Often, because we are trying to get something done. At work for example, we just have our needs plowed right over by managers because our needs DON'T MATTER, we have to get something DONE. If I go to a grocery store, and I see another person looking like something isn't right, I am supposed to ignore it. Even friends, you might ask how they are doing, but what are they trained to say? "I'm fine".
As a kid, LOTS of times you'd see family members having a shitty day, (like Mom), but you weren't supposed to address it. I feel myself trying to mask unpleasant moods or needs or "inappropriate" feelings all the time.
So, with this horse, we have to be very honest with each other all the time. I have to be very honest with my trainer all the time.
I wonder what would happen if we were all allowed to be honest like that, and have people see and respond to our tension with an offer to relieve it, to clarify our requests or reframe them, to recognize when someone is feeling anxiety or pain or fear and try to address it, or to give each other rest breaks or time to process things often, or to see when it just isn't going to be a good day to work on something hard, or to actually see a good day with lots of focus as the moment to really get something done.
Our world is so rigid.
I came home and had a nap.
I learned some interesting things about the State of Utah.
It was mainly settled by Mormons at the time before that part of America was divided into legal boundaries.
At this time, it was a territory directly under the direction of Congress, so it could not have much of a role in it's own governance, even though Brigham Young was the governor.
There was not a lot of attention on that part of the country, as there was tension in the Southern States leading up and following the Civil War.
Utah was having a lot of trouble getting the designation of a state, partly because no one WANTED the Mormons to have seats and political involvement. They knew the first thing the Mormons would do was to push for changes to marriage laws, and other laws specific to their religion.
There were issues around the proposed size of Utah, which would have at that time included several of the now adjacent states. They didn't have the required 60,000 voters.
So, you know what the Mormons did? They were one of the first territories to make it legal for women to vote, giving them enough voters to create a state. AS well, the Mormons hoped to dispel the notion that women were suppressed in their religion (a dislike of the Mormon religion being one of the real reasons why they weren't granted statehood). This is a bit funny, isn't it? That the rest of America at that time was concerned about women being oppressed?
So, the powers that be drew up a MUCH SMALLER border for Utah, that excluded the rich ores that were being discovered in the Rocky Mountains (again, they were worried about what would happen if the Mormons had those resources).
Utah finally, after much deliberation and strategy, became a state in Jan. 4, 1896. Apparently the celebration was extremely wild and dangerous, as people were firing off weapons, bombs, and cannons all over the place.
No drinking?
https://www.ksl.com/article/50077639/state-of-utah-at-125-6-facts-about-utah-statehood-you-may-not-have-known--or-forgotten
https://www.nps.gov/articles/000/women-s-suffrage-in-utah.htm
More decent, moderate weather.
It felt nice doing chores today (and other recent days) when it is REASONABLE outside, and normal winter gear is enough to keep you warm, and the animals are comfortable.
I went to see River tonight, and we had a lesson. This was a good opportunity to work with R to problem solve the gate obstacle. She and I came to the same conclusion; that to some degree River was now so sensitive to my seat that reaching over to pick up the rope and other movements like that were confusing to him.
The proposed solution is to teach him to halt, and then show him that while he is "halted", movements of my legs and seat are to be ignored. Then, give him a release word so that he knows he can respect them again.
I didn't know you could even do that, but I guess you can. So that's part of our homework.
The rest is to do each movement required for the gate gradually, building on the first halt. It's kind of what I was already doing.
Something we talked about in the lesson today was awareness. The kind of awareness as the "leader" that notices small expressions in the horse, or discomforts, and acknowledges them.
Like the moment a horse relaxes and does the lick and chew, you pause and let them process.
We've been doing that all along with this trainer, trying to become more aware of small expressions, and showing the horse that we see them. It makes the horse feel safer with you, because that is what leaders in a herd see, and respond to.
On my drive home from the barn, I got thinking about how people we LIKE do this for us. My husband sees my face change when something is good or not good. If I'm walking around with a scowl, sometimes he sees that and looks for a way to help me with whatever is going on. If I am in a good mood, he might find a way to acknowledge that too. Or if I was worried about something and I visibly relax when we talk about a solution.
I knew that R and I would be working on the rope gate obstacle today, because she saw me having trouble with it yesterday when we were riding together. It may have seemed like she was focused on working with her horse, but I knew she would see the issues I was having. I didn't even have to say it out loud, but I knew she would bring it up because she saw it.
I feel like too often, we may pick up the distress or frustrations of those around us, but we are trained to ignore it, or disregard it. Often, because we are trying to get something done. At work for example, we just have our needs plowed right over by managers because our needs DON'T MATTER, we have to get something DONE. If I go to a grocery store, and I see another person looking like something isn't right, I am supposed to ignore it. Even friends, you might ask how they are doing, but what are they trained to say? "I'm fine".
As a kid, LOTS of times you'd see family members having a shitty day, (like Mom), but you weren't supposed to address it. I feel myself trying to mask unpleasant moods or needs or "inappropriate" feelings all the time.
So, with this horse, we have to be very honest with each other all the time. I have to be very honest with my trainer all the time.
I wonder what would happen if we were all allowed to be honest like that, and have people see and respond to our tension with an offer to relieve it, to clarify our requests or reframe them, to recognize when someone is feeling anxiety or pain or fear and try to address it, or to give each other rest breaks or time to process things often, or to see when it just isn't going to be a good day to work on something hard, or to actually see a good day with lots of focus as the moment to really get something done.
Our world is so rigid.
I came home and had a nap.
I learned some interesting things about the State of Utah.
It was mainly settled by Mormons at the time before that part of America was divided into legal boundaries.
At this time, it was a territory directly under the direction of Congress, so it could not have much of a role in it's own governance, even though Brigham Young was the governor.
There was not a lot of attention on that part of the country, as there was tension in the Southern States leading up and following the Civil War.
Utah was having a lot of trouble getting the designation of a state, partly because no one WANTED the Mormons to have seats and political involvement. They knew the first thing the Mormons would do was to push for changes to marriage laws, and other laws specific to their religion.
There were issues around the proposed size of Utah, which would have at that time included several of the now adjacent states. They didn't have the required 60,000 voters.
So, you know what the Mormons did? They were one of the first territories to make it legal for women to vote, giving them enough voters to create a state. AS well, the Mormons hoped to dispel the notion that women were suppressed in their religion (a dislike of the Mormon religion being one of the real reasons why they weren't granted statehood). This is a bit funny, isn't it? That the rest of America at that time was concerned about women being oppressed?
So, the powers that be drew up a MUCH SMALLER border for Utah, that excluded the rich ores that were being discovered in the Rocky Mountains (again, they were worried about what would happen if the Mormons had those resources).
Utah finally, after much deliberation and strategy, became a state in Jan. 4, 1896. Apparently the celebration was extremely wild and dangerous, as people were firing off weapons, bombs, and cannons all over the place.
No drinking?
https://www.ksl.com/article/50077639/state-of-utah-at-125-6-facts-about-utah-statehood-you-may-not-have-known--or-forgotten
https://www.nps.gov/articles/000/women-s-suffrage-in-utah.htm
no subject
Date: 2023-01-16 02:13 am (UTC)