Thursday, February 9

[gottawonder]

Today I am grateful for:

Beautiful weather.

Being able to let the goats/ponies out for a while. I love watching the ponies run around.

Talking with Sister E, only I HAD to bring up Trainwreck. I guess Trainwreck tells one story to me (life is horrible, shitting in a pail) and another one to Sister E (I'm fine, I have the keys to the drop in center in town, and everyone says it's fine if I go there to use the bathroom). Well, which story is true?

Never mind that it is still not realistic to rely on using the drop-in center bathroom instead of having one IN YOUR HOUSE that works. This is the kind of thing that homeless people do, make deals with people for things like showers and use of the toilet, and doing laundry.

So, Sister E is, based on Trainwreck's current story, willing to believe that things are FINE.

Note: this is a ghost town, and the drop-in center is what used to be a little hall (all small towns had one for community rental and other things). It is actually well-maintained by a small group of people who don't live in town, but on farms or who live in other not too far communities. I don't even know what they do with it.

I do not know why my sister would have a key to it.

My Sweetie got home from work today, and part of our order from the movie store came in. He also found another season of "House" for me (yay!), and another movie that was free because it was buy one get one, and we bought "House". He was able to RENT (!) "Power of the Dog".

So we watched that, and while it was by no means a fun movie, it was good drama and well-acted.

I learned that that when Star Wars was first being made in 1977 the long title crawl at the start of the film, describing the lore ahead of the action, was actually a 6ft long piece of black paper with yellow text, and the camera was then rolled over the paper to make it appear as if the text was moving.

https://virginradio.co.uk/entertainment/59949/10-surprising-facts-you-may-not-know-about-star-wars-a-new-hope-on-45th-anniversary

Comments

[ratunderpaper]

How does TW sister get groceries and wash her clothes? Perhaps there are community workers caring for her...?

[gottawonder]

She does have a car and goes to town a few times a week. If she really wants to, she can wash her clothes at Sister N's house. She used to wash them at my Mom's house before she went into the care home. However, she makes it sound like she has no options. Or, she does that when she feels bad and wants me to feel bad for her too.

BUT, it would be a real pain to have to take your clothes to someone else's house to wash them.

I know she has her own washer and dryer, whether or not they work/she can get to them. She often chooses not to use them because she has to haul water in a tank on her truck, and that is a big job, so she tries not to use much of it. She did mention that she isn't going to be able to haul water until the snow is gone (not sure why), so she likely isn't doing laundry at home. Also, if the septic tank is frozen, she can't do laundry unless she has the washer hooked up to drain outside or something.

So, it was implied by TW that she is currently simply not doing laundry. Again, may or may not be true at all. She's the quintessential "unreliable narrator".

As for groceries, I don't know. She says she uses the food bank in town, but it only allows her to get food once a month (?). Then the next time I talk to her, she'll say that she has a whole freezer full of meat that she can't be bothered to cook.

I considered putting money on an account at the local grocery store, but she is just as likely to buy things, take them home and let them go bad (her house is often full of expired food), or give them to her adult kids, because she always wants to give things to them when she sees them. There's nothing wrong with that if you can afford it, but it defies the point of giving her money for food for herself.

OR, she would barter food for other services from people like her who have no money. Again, not inherently wrong, but undermines the idea of making sure she gets food.

Again, I have no idea if she is having problems getting food or not. There is no soup kitchen locally.

If she were ever short of vegetables, I know my Sister L who grows a massive garden would share with her.

She wouldn't starve, but she might not have things like coffee as easily. OR, it wouldn't be food she LIKES.

In reality, she could likely have lots to eat, but because of how she thinks, there is the PERCEPTION of scarcity. At any point, she could ask family for help and she would have food.

No, there are no community workers helping her.

Again, if she were the kind of person who could rent an apartment, she wouldn't have to worry about hauling water, having a working washing machine, or driving to town for things. She could walk or take the bus.

[ratunderpaper]

Hopefully, TW sister has access to enough food to keep her healthy.

Hauling anything gets harder and less pleasant as we get older. In less optimal times I remember enjoying bus rides to and from places more than I would now.

[gottawonder]

Being poor isn't her fault, but most people in her position move to a place that doesn't require maintenance like an apartment, that doesn't require you to haul your own drinking water or to drive twenty minutes to town for anything when you can't really afford a vehicle.

When things get difficult and unpleasant, she doesn't think about changing how she lives. She says she wants to get rid of that place, but can't begin to get rid of all that crap on her own, and won't walk away from it. There are options, like getting help from her kids or walking away, but those are hard choices (though to me, living there would be harder). What she wants is just to keep living there, but have people keep helping her with her problems that she can't fix on her own. If she keeps manipulating people to do things for her, then she gets to keep living there.

When something is broken, she just shuts down that part of her life and says "I can live without running water" or "I can just shut the door to that room" or "I can use someone else's bathroom sometimes".

She likely doesn't even haul garbage away, she probably burns it in a barrel.

When she wakes up, she generally tries to just not be home during her waking hours. She goes to town and visits Mom or Sister N, maybe gets groceries or picks up alcohol. Drives around, or distracts herself with phone calls and drama. Not problem solving. She goes home, gets blackout drunk, passes out (calls it sleeping) and tries not to think about it anymore.

This short video does a good job of explaining the "levels" of hoarding. My sister's home is probably around a level four. She doesn't necessarily have the thick layer of food garbage laying on the floor, but the description of many rooms being filled completely and having issues with plumbing and starting to need alternative ways of disposing of waste fits, and she is starting to have structural damage that is not being addressed (she said the floor in the bathroom was rotten). So, maybe a 3.5.

https://youtu.be/m5pNMlUfYNQ

What is different, is that this video doesn't talk about having buildings other than a house full of stuff. My sister has what used to be a commercial auto mechanic garage full of stuff, and piles of stuff outside on the ground. Not really garbage like food waste, but bags of old clothing, old bedding, boxes of books and dishes and VHS tapes, shoes, kids clothes, kids toys, picture frames, old mirrors, knick knacks, fake flowers, craft stuff, magazines, lamps, couches and dressers and tables and chairs and pillows, ropes, old tools, old makeup and costume jewelry, those cheap plant pots they come in. Just far too much of the stuff we all have a little too much of.