Just angry for the moment.
Apr. 27th, 2023 09:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gottawonderI'm posting separate from my normal journal, because I just need to vent.
I've mentioned that there was a girl who rides River sometimes during her lessons, yes?
I mentioned that I had to set some boundaries early on, because they wanted one day a week besides her lesson just to "come bond with him" (they also wanted to work with him, and I said if you're working him, then we can discuss a lease and a contract).
I felt like they didn't need to "come bond" with a horse that is their lesson horse.
So, today I got a message from the girl's Mother, and I was kind of expecting it sooner or later.
It was very manipulative, saying how her daughter "has really bloomed with River, her confidence has blossomed, and she's full of joy around him" and "what a special gem of a horse he is"; "if you ever have a change in circumstances and would like to rehome him, we would be honored to give him a place".
So, if I just shut all of this down now, before it gets worse, I'm still going to be the bad guy, aren't I?
Yet, I am done with this. I have NOT ONCE suggested that I want to sell River, and I was not even really that comfortable having a young girl ride him because I got bad vibes off of her mother, which I guess I was right about.
I know they're going to try to do something like have one last lesson with him or something, and turn it into some big sobbing thing where they will likely try to leave a gift for him that is supposed to make me feel like shit.
Then, they will likely try to "just come see him" or something.
I need to talk to R about this tomorrow, but what I want is for them to be done having lessons with River, and no other contact either. No mooning around the pasture petting him and giving him treats weeping about what a monster I am.
This family has MONEY. They have their own indoor arena, and they HAVE OTHER HORSES. There is no reason for this woman to allow her daughter to think for even a minute that River was her "heart horse" or whatever and that if only that evil woman would sell him (or give him!) to them, their lives would be full of joy.
What they CAN do, is do what everyone else does. Look at actual horses that are available for sale. Get R to help them find a good prospect. Then THEY can pay for board at a facility, and pay someone to train their horse, and THEY can come and commit to working with their horse three or four days a week, and take lessons, and work their asses off.
I have poured my money, my time, and my heart into working with River to make him what he is. If this woman wants her daughter to grow as a horse person, then she needs to earn it. Not just manipulate someone else into giving up their horse that they've poured their soul into for seven years.
Also, this woman runs a "horse therapy program" and you who would be a perfect horse for such a program? River. I am fairly sure that this is the underlying motive for her wanting him "for her daughter".
Her daughter is a teenager, and only a few years away from leaving home. Her actual interest in horses is pretty lukewarm (she barely makes it to two lessons a month at the barn and doesn't ride any of their horses at home that I know of), and I doubt that she would even ride River if she weren't in a class with R. So, then her mom would "just have to use him in the therapy program".
Fuck, I hate people.
I've mentioned that there was a girl who rides River sometimes during her lessons, yes?
I mentioned that I had to set some boundaries early on, because they wanted one day a week besides her lesson just to "come bond with him" (they also wanted to work with him, and I said if you're working him, then we can discuss a lease and a contract).
I felt like they didn't need to "come bond" with a horse that is their lesson horse.
So, today I got a message from the girl's Mother, and I was kind of expecting it sooner or later.
It was very manipulative, saying how her daughter "has really bloomed with River, her confidence has blossomed, and she's full of joy around him" and "what a special gem of a horse he is"; "if you ever have a change in circumstances and would like to rehome him, we would be honored to give him a place".
So, if I just shut all of this down now, before it gets worse, I'm still going to be the bad guy, aren't I?
Yet, I am done with this. I have NOT ONCE suggested that I want to sell River, and I was not even really that comfortable having a young girl ride him because I got bad vibes off of her mother, which I guess I was right about.
I know they're going to try to do something like have one last lesson with him or something, and turn it into some big sobbing thing where they will likely try to leave a gift for him that is supposed to make me feel like shit.
Then, they will likely try to "just come see him" or something.
I need to talk to R about this tomorrow, but what I want is for them to be done having lessons with River, and no other contact either. No mooning around the pasture petting him and giving him treats weeping about what a monster I am.
This family has MONEY. They have their own indoor arena, and they HAVE OTHER HORSES. There is no reason for this woman to allow her daughter to think for even a minute that River was her "heart horse" or whatever and that if only that evil woman would sell him (or give him!) to them, their lives would be full of joy.
What they CAN do, is do what everyone else does. Look at actual horses that are available for sale. Get R to help them find a good prospect. Then THEY can pay for board at a facility, and pay someone to train their horse, and THEY can come and commit to working with their horse three or four days a week, and take lessons, and work their asses off.
I have poured my money, my time, and my heart into working with River to make him what he is. If this woman wants her daughter to grow as a horse person, then she needs to earn it. Not just manipulate someone else into giving up their horse that they've poured their soul into for seven years.
Also, this woman runs a "horse therapy program" and you who would be a perfect horse for such a program? River. I am fairly sure that this is the underlying motive for her wanting him "for her daughter".
Her daughter is a teenager, and only a few years away from leaving home. Her actual interest in horses is pretty lukewarm (she barely makes it to two lessons a month at the barn and doesn't ride any of their horses at home that I know of), and I doubt that she would even ride River if she weren't in a class with R. So, then her mom would "just have to use him in the therapy program".
Fuck, I hate people.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-28 04:52 am (UTC)Ignore the letter. You are not obligated to respond to it. Taper or end the lessons without any contact. The woman may feel entitled to ask questions, inappropriate or otherwise, but that sense of entitlement has nothing to do with you.
I would feel insulted, as though someone were using their finances and status to finagle my horse from me. It may not be her intention, but it comes across that way.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-28 05:05 am (UTC)What makes me VERY ANGRY, is that she is trying to manipulate me by using her daughter.
That whole "this lovely animal is my daughter's spirit horse, and we FOUND him! The only thing keeping him from my daughter is...you".
I did respond to the letter in a very neutral way. I said how nice that her daughter is doing well with River. He has done a lot for me, too. I had a very traumatic experience with horses a few years ago that left me in a real confidence crisis, and River was the horse to help me.
This is all true. I really didn't know if I would be comfortable riding again, and River is the horse I needed.
I would have been fine with this girl taking lessons, and I was CLEAR that that was all that was on the table. I set some boundaries already about "bonding" with him, and now they have stepped over it again.
I'm not sure if I will be able to do a "no contact" ending, because this woman is friends with R, and comes to events that we have at the barn.
I would like to end it firmly, unambiguously, yet not make it super awful to see her in the future. No idea if this is possible.
I have no hard feelings for the kid, this isn't her fault.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-28 05:33 am (UTC)