Tuesday, June 6
Jun. 6th, 2023 11:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gottawonderToday I am grateful for:
Having a good sleep, and so many kitty cuddles.
Also, I have been very grateful that Roxy is doing well. The fairly recent cancer surgery really hit home how much she means to me. Not a day goes by that I don't marvel at how sweet she is, and how nice it is to have her with us. I truly don't know what humanity did to deserve dogs.
I talked for a while with Sister E, and things are going okay there. I know she is very stressed out with being mostly the person in charge of getting ready to move. There is a lot to do to get ready to leave their acreage, and I'm sure that emotions are running pretty high right now.
I went to see River. He did pretty well overall. We went through the patterns that R is doing for her show this upcoming weekend, and while he wasn't dazzlingly perfect, he did pretty good, so each thing that he did well I just left it there instead of drilling it.
I really don't want him to get sour on them.
I did my best to let him know that he was doing well with everything so he would feel positive about the work, and took him over to some really nice grass to graze for a while when we were done.
I came home and let everyone out into their pastures for a while, and watered the garden.
We still haven't had any rain, and it's weighing on everyone quite heavily. There are a lot of consequences if we don't get rain soon.
I talked with Trainwreck for a while, and I thought I was going to get out of the conversation lightly today as most of our conversation was fairly okay chit chat.
Then she tries to lightly pass off the information that her cats have started bringing her dead rats.
Apparently there are rats in the church (a few people maintain it still), and the person from the municipality that mows the empty lots has seen rats.
My sister is trying to make it sound like there are no rats in her place, but really, come on. If there are rats all over town, you think there are no rats in her hoarded up garage? OF COURSE THERE ARE RATS IN THERE.
So, I said "well, you already know you need to leave. This is just another reason why."
Then, she literally just tells me there is no way she can leave. She just doesn't want to go.
She doesn't want to throw her stuff out. She can't face only packing a few things up and moving.
I was like "well, you pretty much HAVE to go. You can't repair anything. You haven't had running water for months. You can't shower or use the bathroom, you wash your dishes in pails, and the roof is leaking, the floor in the bathroom is rotten, and nothing will improve because you can't afford to fix anything. What do you think you would do if you stayed?"
She said "I don't know. I will probably just live with our Aunt E in town."
This is the same BS she tried to pull a few years ago, saying she could just live with our Mom, knowing full well none of us would let her do that. No one will let her live with Aunt E either, especially not Aunt E's children.
So, basically she HAS no plan, and refuses to make one. She's just going to keep showering at other people's houses, and sleeping there when the weather is bad in the winter time, and thus keeping her pile of shit.
I asked her what the deal was, why does she even care about that stuff when most of it is ruined? She said it seemed wrong to throw it out, since other people could use it. I said "how are they going to use it if it's all stuffed in your garage? You want someone to use it? Open the doors up and let people come and take what they need".
WELL, that's all just the same circular bullshit that we've gone through over and over and over. She knows that she should give away or sell anything useful, and that if it ISN'T useful, then it really is garbage and it should be thrown away.
I guess if she had the ability to actually do any of these things, she wouldn't be in this position.
I am just very upset that she has more or less stated that she really ISN'T going to try to take what she needs and move, and I guess NOT sell it to the guy who said he would buy it even if it was full of her crap.
I guess she is NOT going to even try to empty that one trailer so it would give her a way to haul her stuff.
So, what do I do about my role in this? Just let her live and probably soon die in a rat infested shit hole with no running water that is in the middle of nowhere?
I'm thinking it really might as well be time to contact social services. There isn't much point in waiting until winter, is there? It's going to be horrible no matter what.
I need to talk with other family, and at least see if I can get some kind of support from them.
Today I learned that human eyes are not really green or blue. They do not contain green or blue pigment. The perceived color is the result of the scattering of light.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_color
Having a good sleep, and so many kitty cuddles.
Also, I have been very grateful that Roxy is doing well. The fairly recent cancer surgery really hit home how much she means to me. Not a day goes by that I don't marvel at how sweet she is, and how nice it is to have her with us. I truly don't know what humanity did to deserve dogs.
I talked for a while with Sister E, and things are going okay there. I know she is very stressed out with being mostly the person in charge of getting ready to move. There is a lot to do to get ready to leave their acreage, and I'm sure that emotions are running pretty high right now.
I went to see River. He did pretty well overall. We went through the patterns that R is doing for her show this upcoming weekend, and while he wasn't dazzlingly perfect, he did pretty good, so each thing that he did well I just left it there instead of drilling it.
I really don't want him to get sour on them.
I did my best to let him know that he was doing well with everything so he would feel positive about the work, and took him over to some really nice grass to graze for a while when we were done.
I came home and let everyone out into their pastures for a while, and watered the garden.
We still haven't had any rain, and it's weighing on everyone quite heavily. There are a lot of consequences if we don't get rain soon.
I talked with Trainwreck for a while, and I thought I was going to get out of the conversation lightly today as most of our conversation was fairly okay chit chat.
Then she tries to lightly pass off the information that her cats have started bringing her dead rats.
Apparently there are rats in the church (a few people maintain it still), and the person from the municipality that mows the empty lots has seen rats.
My sister is trying to make it sound like there are no rats in her place, but really, come on. If there are rats all over town, you think there are no rats in her hoarded up garage? OF COURSE THERE ARE RATS IN THERE.
So, I said "well, you already know you need to leave. This is just another reason why."
Then, she literally just tells me there is no way she can leave. She just doesn't want to go.
She doesn't want to throw her stuff out. She can't face only packing a few things up and moving.
I was like "well, you pretty much HAVE to go. You can't repair anything. You haven't had running water for months. You can't shower or use the bathroom, you wash your dishes in pails, and the roof is leaking, the floor in the bathroom is rotten, and nothing will improve because you can't afford to fix anything. What do you think you would do if you stayed?"
She said "I don't know. I will probably just live with our Aunt E in town."
This is the same BS she tried to pull a few years ago, saying she could just live with our Mom, knowing full well none of us would let her do that. No one will let her live with Aunt E either, especially not Aunt E's children.
So, basically she HAS no plan, and refuses to make one. She's just going to keep showering at other people's houses, and sleeping there when the weather is bad in the winter time, and thus keeping her pile of shit.
I asked her what the deal was, why does she even care about that stuff when most of it is ruined? She said it seemed wrong to throw it out, since other people could use it. I said "how are they going to use it if it's all stuffed in your garage? You want someone to use it? Open the doors up and let people come and take what they need".
WELL, that's all just the same circular bullshit that we've gone through over and over and over. She knows that she should give away or sell anything useful, and that if it ISN'T useful, then it really is garbage and it should be thrown away.
I guess if she had the ability to actually do any of these things, she wouldn't be in this position.
I am just very upset that she has more or less stated that she really ISN'T going to try to take what she needs and move, and I guess NOT sell it to the guy who said he would buy it even if it was full of her crap.
I guess she is NOT going to even try to empty that one trailer so it would give her a way to haul her stuff.
So, what do I do about my role in this? Just let her live and probably soon die in a rat infested shit hole with no running water that is in the middle of nowhere?
I'm thinking it really might as well be time to contact social services. There isn't much point in waiting until winter, is there? It's going to be horrible no matter what.
I need to talk with other family, and at least see if I can get some kind of support from them.
Today I learned that human eyes are not really green or blue. They do not contain green or blue pigment. The perceived color is the result of the scattering of light.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_color
no subject
Date: 2023-06-07 07:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-06-07 09:06 pm (UTC)The issue is that I might need help from other family since I do not live anywhere near TW. I'm not sure what this process would entail, and if I would end up being ostracized.
I have mentioned this route to others, and they are starting to feel that it might be necessary, but people in my family have long just looked the other way when family has serious issues. We have been trained to "not judge".
The saddest part of all of this, is that getting my sister's home condemned WOULD force her to live somewhere else, but it doesn't address the underlying issue of hoarding.
In a very awful way, I know she chooses to live in isolated shitholes because no one will report her and if she owns it, she cannot be evicted.
If she were forced to move to the lodge in town, how long before she had it hoarded right up and they evicted her? Where would she go then?
What treatment is even available to her?
We can't even make her current living situation safer or better as long as she's hoarding it up. If there are rats, they are going to LOVE living in that place.
Her water system relies on hauling water in a big tank and filling the tank for her trailer. Someone would have to pay someone to deliver water, or pay to register her truck and likely even do repairs on it before she could haul water in it, and I don't know if she can pump it into her tank by herself.
Her living situation is just so difficult, everything takes complicated means to do simple things because of where she is living, and how "jerry rigged" it all is.
Her health is just getting worse and worse. She has repeated lung infections and none of the antibiotics are working in part because she drinks, and alcohol makes the antibiotics less effective. She is too weak to do any cleaning or maintenance now, and even every day tasks like washing up the dishes are very difficult for her.
I have no idea anymore what the right thing to do might be.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-07 11:11 pm (UTC)I am at the point where I think the only thing we could do for now, is to see if it is possible just to have her property condemned.
She is so unwilling to leave it, and yet she is already living in town half of every week because she sleeps at another sister's house.
At the same time, that's also imposing a LOT on my sister N, to go there to sleep several nights a week, shower, eat, and do laundry.
Trainwreck is just not able to care for herself, and I am having a harder and harder time just ignoring her situation.
If she dies out there, we're all going to feel like garbage for not doing something. At the same time, I worry that she might try to kill herself if I get her property condemned, and I don't know if I could live with that either.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-08 09:00 pm (UTC)It's one thing to have a fondness for one's belongings, and another thing to live with trash, disrepair, and infestation.