Wednesday, June 7
Jun. 8th, 2023 12:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gottawonderToday I am grateful for:
Getting good sleep.
I talked for a while with Brother T, feeling out the idea of just calling some kind of authority about our sister, and he did not oppose it.
In general, the feeling I have gotten from family is that no one would be horribly angry at me if I did begin some kind of process towards dealing with our sister's hoarding.
I know that ALL OF US are burned out and tired of her pain, since most of it is self-inflicted.
The situation she is in right now is one she created, though it is a symptom of deeper issues. She is aware of that too, and has not sought out help, or made any real movement towards change.
At this time, she does not have water in her tank so she cannot do dishes in her sink, use the toilet, shower, or wash her clothes.
She washes her dishes in a pail using water she hauls from town in a jug. I am gathering that this just means that she tries not to cook or use many dishes at home, so she's likely not eating well.
She showers at our Sister N's, maybe does some laundry there, and uses all of the great outdoors as her toilet.
Yesterday she tried to casually mention that her cats are bringing her dead rats. She is trying to pass it off that the rats are "living in the empty houses around her place", but really. They are likely living on her property, and likely in her hoarded up garage.
So now it's rats. When it gets cold, the first thing that will happen is her trailer, being the only warm place in that whole town, will become absolutely over run with them.
She still doesn't want to leave. She WAS saying she was ready to leave, now she's saying she doesn't want to.
She calls me up, tells me how awful her life is over and over again, and how she wants to be somewhere else, moans about all her shit and how it's ruining her life, but then won't actually DO ANYTHING about leaving.
So, now I'm thinking of at least talking to the RCMP about doing a wellness check, and what kind of social services could be asked to intervene.
It's time. I can't watch her die this way, and I can't listen to her whining any more. No one else in our family, including her own children, have been able to get through to her. We can't help her anymore. If she won't help herself either, then maybe it's time for someone else to get involved.
I don't want to punish her, I just want her to be able to live somewhere...clean. To actually DO SOMETHING about her situation.
Moving on.
I went to see River, and he was SO tired from the heat. Truly, this spring has been scorching hot, and almost no rain. It's exhausting.
I hosed him down, which helps a lot. His poor pink nose was all burned. I do put a high SPF sunscreen on it every time I'm there, but I'm not there every day. It would be nice if R would do it too, but I know she's very busy.
We worked on the patterns for the upcoming show in our lesson, and refined things for the obstacle course. River did pretty well with everything, which is nice.
I let him graze again for quite a while in the yard, in places that don't get mowed. Their pasture is already pretty chewed down.
I came home and let everyone out into their pastures for a while.
I did some dishes, folded some clothes.
I learned a bit about New Sweden: "New Sweden (Swedish: Nya Sverige)[1] was a Swedish colony along the lower reaches of the Delaware River in what is now the United States from 1638 to 1655,[2] established during the Thirty Years' War when Sweden was a great military power. New Sweden formed part of the Swedish efforts to colonize the Americas. Settlements were established on both sides of the Delaware Valley in the region of Delaware, New Jersey, Maryland, and Pennsylvania, often in places where Swedish traders had been visiting since about 1610.[3] Fort Christina in Wilmington, Delaware, was the first settlement, named after the reigning Swedish monarch. The settlers were Swedes, Finns, and a number of Dutch. New Sweden was conquered by the Dutch Republic in 1655 during the Second Northern War and incorporated into the Dutch colony of New Netherland."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Sweden
Getting good sleep.
I talked for a while with Brother T, feeling out the idea of just calling some kind of authority about our sister, and he did not oppose it.
In general, the feeling I have gotten from family is that no one would be horribly angry at me if I did begin some kind of process towards dealing with our sister's hoarding.
I know that ALL OF US are burned out and tired of her pain, since most of it is self-inflicted.
The situation she is in right now is one she created, though it is a symptom of deeper issues. She is aware of that too, and has not sought out help, or made any real movement towards change.
At this time, she does not have water in her tank so she cannot do dishes in her sink, use the toilet, shower, or wash her clothes.
She washes her dishes in a pail using water she hauls from town in a jug. I am gathering that this just means that she tries not to cook or use many dishes at home, so she's likely not eating well.
She showers at our Sister N's, maybe does some laundry there, and uses all of the great outdoors as her toilet.
Yesterday she tried to casually mention that her cats are bringing her dead rats. She is trying to pass it off that the rats are "living in the empty houses around her place", but really. They are likely living on her property, and likely in her hoarded up garage.
So now it's rats. When it gets cold, the first thing that will happen is her trailer, being the only warm place in that whole town, will become absolutely over run with them.
She still doesn't want to leave. She WAS saying she was ready to leave, now she's saying she doesn't want to.
She calls me up, tells me how awful her life is over and over again, and how she wants to be somewhere else, moans about all her shit and how it's ruining her life, but then won't actually DO ANYTHING about leaving.
So, now I'm thinking of at least talking to the RCMP about doing a wellness check, and what kind of social services could be asked to intervene.
It's time. I can't watch her die this way, and I can't listen to her whining any more. No one else in our family, including her own children, have been able to get through to her. We can't help her anymore. If she won't help herself either, then maybe it's time for someone else to get involved.
I don't want to punish her, I just want her to be able to live somewhere...clean. To actually DO SOMETHING about her situation.
Moving on.
I went to see River, and he was SO tired from the heat. Truly, this spring has been scorching hot, and almost no rain. It's exhausting.
I hosed him down, which helps a lot. His poor pink nose was all burned. I do put a high SPF sunscreen on it every time I'm there, but I'm not there every day. It would be nice if R would do it too, but I know she's very busy.
We worked on the patterns for the upcoming show in our lesson, and refined things for the obstacle course. River did pretty well with everything, which is nice.
I let him graze again for quite a while in the yard, in places that don't get mowed. Their pasture is already pretty chewed down.
I came home and let everyone out into their pastures for a while.
I did some dishes, folded some clothes.
I learned a bit about New Sweden: "New Sweden (Swedish: Nya Sverige)[1] was a Swedish colony along the lower reaches of the Delaware River in what is now the United States from 1638 to 1655,[2] established during the Thirty Years' War when Sweden was a great military power. New Sweden formed part of the Swedish efforts to colonize the Americas. Settlements were established on both sides of the Delaware Valley in the region of Delaware, New Jersey, Maryland, and Pennsylvania, often in places where Swedish traders had been visiting since about 1610.[3] Fort Christina in Wilmington, Delaware, was the first settlement, named after the reigning Swedish monarch. The settlers were Swedes, Finns, and a number of Dutch. New Sweden was conquered by the Dutch Republic in 1655 during the Second Northern War and incorporated into the Dutch colony of New Netherland."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Sweden
no subject
Date: 2023-06-08 10:42 pm (UTC)Your stories have a motivational effect. I hope your immediate family recognises that an allied force is necessary to express concern.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-09 01:47 am (UTC)I would have thought the RCMP were literally SUPPOSED to go do a wellness check on someone if you asked, but they told me that wasn't police business.
The fire department did not care if her property was a fire hazard.
The Hoarding people did not have funding to go talk to her as she lived in a rural area not in the city.
There is nothing left for me to do. She doesn't want my help. I can't force anything on her.
My family just wants to leave her be.
So, there you have it. I think I'm done trying. I spent the last few months trying to help her figure out a plan for how to leave that place this summer, and I really thought she was going to accept help this time.
Nope. She's not. She told me the last time I spoke with her that she is no longer going to focus on getting out, she doesn't want to move, so she just isn't going to.
At this point, I might just have to take a break from talking to her at all, because I don't know how to just have a conversation with her, and not have it turn to how shitty her life is, and to be able to distance myself from feeling like I have to help her.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-09 02:50 am (UTC)