Thursday, June 8
Jun. 8th, 2023 07:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gottawonderToday just sucked, really.
I personally am fine.
I spent a great deal of the day on the phone, talking to one group after another, all of whom simply referred me to someone else, or told me that it wasn't their job to help.
The RCMP in her area said it was not a police matter, and to talk to a mental health group. This is great, but I was hoping the RCMP could literally look at her property in terms of being a safety issue, thus a legal situation where she would be required to take steps to make it safe to live in, like getting water hauled in so she could use the toilet, or making it less dangerous to live in.
Nope.
There even is an actual hoarding specialist that would have been FREE for her to talk to, but that person was unable to do anything outside of the small city they are based in.
The local Fire Department was not interested in my concern about the house being a fire hazard, though I know in a city they DO care about that kind of thing.
The best I could do was to find Mental Health support for my sister, if she wants it, for free in a town not that far from her. She would have to want it, but it's there. She always talks about how she needs help with her issues, but I doubt she will call the number I gave her.
So, a whole day pretty much down the toilet.
My family is tired of hearing from me, and most of them don't even think this is that big a deal anymore, after all my sister has lived like this on and off her whole life.
I think the last couple of days has just been a tipping point for me. I've spent the last couple of months working with my Trainwreck sister trying to come up with a workable plan for her to leave that property.
She said she found someone to buy it as is, so she could just pack what she needed and move into a suite at the local lodge.
I really had hope for a while.
Then she said she just didn't want to do it.
So, there you have it. NO local authority wants anything to do with her situation, my sister doesn't want help, and no one in my family has a single fuck left either.
So, all I can do is to just disengage from all of this mess.
I don't know if that means not talking to TW any more, because sooner or later her woes will creep back into the conversation. She will start talking about her shit bothering her, how much she hates living in that trailer, the rats will likely move in soon, and on and on, and how can I talk to her and not feel some urge to "fix" things if she does that?
I did sign up for some counselling for myself today, through my husband's work program. At this point, I want to focus on how to disengage from my sister's issues, and how to stop feeling guilty for me being in a better place in life, thus ABLE to help her, but she doesn't want it. How to just let go.
It's going to be weird. TW is older than I am by 12 years, and her problems in life were already well established by the time I was old enough to be aware of them. Possibly my whole life our family has been worried about her, and trying to help her.
Our family used to help her move every year or so. Every time it was a hoarded up place, she would be evicted and we would all have to go help her move and clean it out.
She has always been on the verge of a crisis, and I guess I've been roped into that drama my whole life too.
I don't even know what it would be like not to be worried about her, or if not her, some other family member who is messed up.
It's kind of a way of life for us.
I would like to do something else now.
I personally am fine.
I spent a great deal of the day on the phone, talking to one group after another, all of whom simply referred me to someone else, or told me that it wasn't their job to help.
The RCMP in her area said it was not a police matter, and to talk to a mental health group. This is great, but I was hoping the RCMP could literally look at her property in terms of being a safety issue, thus a legal situation where she would be required to take steps to make it safe to live in, like getting water hauled in so she could use the toilet, or making it less dangerous to live in.
Nope.
There even is an actual hoarding specialist that would have been FREE for her to talk to, but that person was unable to do anything outside of the small city they are based in.
The local Fire Department was not interested in my concern about the house being a fire hazard, though I know in a city they DO care about that kind of thing.
The best I could do was to find Mental Health support for my sister, if she wants it, for free in a town not that far from her. She would have to want it, but it's there. She always talks about how she needs help with her issues, but I doubt she will call the number I gave her.
So, a whole day pretty much down the toilet.
My family is tired of hearing from me, and most of them don't even think this is that big a deal anymore, after all my sister has lived like this on and off her whole life.
I think the last couple of days has just been a tipping point for me. I've spent the last couple of months working with my Trainwreck sister trying to come up with a workable plan for her to leave that property.
She said she found someone to buy it as is, so she could just pack what she needed and move into a suite at the local lodge.
I really had hope for a while.
Then she said she just didn't want to do it.
So, there you have it. NO local authority wants anything to do with her situation, my sister doesn't want help, and no one in my family has a single fuck left either.
So, all I can do is to just disengage from all of this mess.
I don't know if that means not talking to TW any more, because sooner or later her woes will creep back into the conversation. She will start talking about her shit bothering her, how much she hates living in that trailer, the rats will likely move in soon, and on and on, and how can I talk to her and not feel some urge to "fix" things if she does that?
I did sign up for some counselling for myself today, through my husband's work program. At this point, I want to focus on how to disengage from my sister's issues, and how to stop feeling guilty for me being in a better place in life, thus ABLE to help her, but she doesn't want it. How to just let go.
It's going to be weird. TW is older than I am by 12 years, and her problems in life were already well established by the time I was old enough to be aware of them. Possibly my whole life our family has been worried about her, and trying to help her.
Our family used to help her move every year or so. Every time it was a hoarded up place, she would be evicted and we would all have to go help her move and clean it out.
She has always been on the verge of a crisis, and I guess I've been roped into that drama my whole life too.
I don't even know what it would be like not to be worried about her, or if not her, some other family member who is messed up.
It's kind of a way of life for us.
I would like to do something else now.
