Sunday, August 20
Aug. 21st, 2023 03:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gottawonderToday I am grateful for:
Quite a lovely day, with pleasant temperatures. A bit cloudy, but very nice.
We had to get rolling today, as we were going to the city to meet a friend for her birthday, but also because I wanted to buy some things.
I wanted to find some sparkly things to make accessories for River. Though this is not really MY personal inclination (I'm not really big on the need to guild the lily so to speak, with horses) but I do understand something here; I will not do well with any of these liberty classes that R wants to do, unless I come up with costumes or decorations.
I was of two minds on this. I do think costumes can be fun, though it is not really my thing; Yet I would rather be scored on something that is not as subjective, like a performance based on a standardized scoring system. Costumes are SUBJECTIVE, and really, what do they have to do with doing well with the actual LIBERTY WORK?
It's become clear that R wants us to come up with something for a costume for the Liberty freestyle. The one I've been working on already for about a month. I guess if I didn't bother with a costume, I would just not score well, and doesn't that seem unfair? If my actual LIBERTY WORK were well done, isn't that enough?
After we ran around to a few different stores, sure, it's kind of fun, but it also takes money and effort.
We made it to this friend's birthday party, the big five-oh. She invited a bunch of her friends and we didn't know any of them. We met at a restaurant, and luckily I found something I could eat. We barely spoke to our friend, as she was sitting at the farther end of the table, so we made acquaintance with some of the people sitting closer to us, and I feel like I clicked somewhat with the one woman who also has horses (also has some very senior ones, like I do).
I know that this is ABSOLUTELY NORMAL for a birthday party, but sometimes I am just not that into the idea of "being on" and being extroverted among strangers. We did fine, they seemed like nice people.
It felt like a weird day for me. Trying to figure out what to buy to give River and I some kind of chance to have our actual work appreciated by having a costume of sorts, trying to decide if I even want to do this at all. Enjoying the idea of a costume, but wishing it wasn't tied to MERIT.
Going to be with our friend for her birthday was nice, but felt kind of...forced? I barely talked to her, I talked to the woman beside me and the woman across from me. I brought a present for my friend, and it was nice in a way to see her...except I didn't see her.
Then we went to the riding barn, and even that felt hurried because we got there later than usual because of the birthday party, and my husband was making me feel like he just wanted to get home.
I did work on my pattern a bit, but really, I felt like I was getting that feeling that I sometimes get when
my husband is home and comes with me everywhere; that I didn't get to have my time with River the way I want to do it; as MY PRIORITY.
Today felt far too much like I was just trying to play the social "fitting in" popularity game of trying to make everyone else happy but me, and I don't like it. Oddly enough, for my husband, he feels like today was all "my" things, but I felt like today was about me playing the social obligation game for other people.
We came home, let everyone out for a little while (less than usual because we got home late), and took Roxy out for a walk since she'd been cooped up while we were gone.
We watched some more "American Gods".
I learned that domestic honey bees are really NOT endangered. They are a CULTIVATED, domestic insect that are plentiful. IT is the wild North American native bees (several different species) which are endangered, in part because of the domestic bees which compete for food and transmit diseases to the native species.
https://www.nwf.org/Home/Magazines/National-Wildlife/2021/June-July/Gardening/Honey-Bees
Quite a lovely day, with pleasant temperatures. A bit cloudy, but very nice.
We had to get rolling today, as we were going to the city to meet a friend for her birthday, but also because I wanted to buy some things.
I wanted to find some sparkly things to make accessories for River. Though this is not really MY personal inclination (I'm not really big on the need to guild the lily so to speak, with horses) but I do understand something here; I will not do well with any of these liberty classes that R wants to do, unless I come up with costumes or decorations.
I was of two minds on this. I do think costumes can be fun, though it is not really my thing; Yet I would rather be scored on something that is not as subjective, like a performance based on a standardized scoring system. Costumes are SUBJECTIVE, and really, what do they have to do with doing well with the actual LIBERTY WORK?
It's become clear that R wants us to come up with something for a costume for the Liberty freestyle. The one I've been working on already for about a month. I guess if I didn't bother with a costume, I would just not score well, and doesn't that seem unfair? If my actual LIBERTY WORK were well done, isn't that enough?
After we ran around to a few different stores, sure, it's kind of fun, but it also takes money and effort.
We made it to this friend's birthday party, the big five-oh. She invited a bunch of her friends and we didn't know any of them. We met at a restaurant, and luckily I found something I could eat. We barely spoke to our friend, as she was sitting at the farther end of the table, so we made acquaintance with some of the people sitting closer to us, and I feel like I clicked somewhat with the one woman who also has horses (also has some very senior ones, like I do).
I know that this is ABSOLUTELY NORMAL for a birthday party, but sometimes I am just not that into the idea of "being on" and being extroverted among strangers. We did fine, they seemed like nice people.
It felt like a weird day for me. Trying to figure out what to buy to give River and I some kind of chance to have our actual work appreciated by having a costume of sorts, trying to decide if I even want to do this at all. Enjoying the idea of a costume, but wishing it wasn't tied to MERIT.
Going to be with our friend for her birthday was nice, but felt kind of...forced? I barely talked to her, I talked to the woman beside me and the woman across from me. I brought a present for my friend, and it was nice in a way to see her...except I didn't see her.
Then we went to the riding barn, and even that felt hurried because we got there later than usual because of the birthday party, and my husband was making me feel like he just wanted to get home.
I did work on my pattern a bit, but really, I felt like I was getting that feeling that I sometimes get when
my husband is home and comes with me everywhere; that I didn't get to have my time with River the way I want to do it; as MY PRIORITY.
Today felt far too much like I was just trying to play the social "fitting in" popularity game of trying to make everyone else happy but me, and I don't like it. Oddly enough, for my husband, he feels like today was all "my" things, but I felt like today was about me playing the social obligation game for other people.
We came home, let everyone out for a little while (less than usual because we got home late), and took Roxy out for a walk since she'd been cooped up while we were gone.
We watched some more "American Gods".
I learned that domestic honey bees are really NOT endangered. They are a CULTIVATED, domestic insect that are plentiful. IT is the wild North American native bees (several different species) which are endangered, in part because of the domestic bees which compete for food and transmit diseases to the native species.
https://www.nwf.org/Home/Magazines/National-Wildlife/2021/June-July/Gardening/Honey-Bees
no subject
Date: 2023-08-22 05:41 am (UTC)