Can you relate?
Jan. 28th, 2024 04:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gottawonderI have to say, I felt a little embarrassed about how emotional I got tonight at our Liberty Awards night.
I wasn't really winning an award, but we all got to speak, and I got a little...sincere I suppose.
I teared up, and it was tough to continue speaking, and that frustrates me because I'm not UPSET, just kind of feeling a lot all at once, and in front of people.
Of course, then you realize that you're crying in front of people, and that makes it harder to stop, because now you're overwhelmed from being on the spot.
I have a tendency to cry or tear up a fair amount, when I'm talking about things I care about. I guess that's how you know I'm being sincere. I don't know that very many people are terribly comfortable seeing someone express that much emotion, though.
It would be nice to not do that, mainly because I think it's just too damn awkward for everyone, and I think they think I'm in more pain than I really am.
I do tend to feel strong emotions, and I wonder what it must be like for someone like my husband, who always seems just pleasantly okay pretty much all the time. Seriously, he can be in a bit better mood than his average, or a bit frustrated, but I don't know that I've ever seen him cry on his own from feeling something, or be all that upset by anything, or, all that moved by anything either.
I can go from feeling love for my animals to the point where I am moved to tears sometimes just sitting with them and thinking about how much I love them. I can cry thinking about pets that have passed, or that sadness of knowing that all of us are mortal.
I can also be moved to great happiness at a beautiful sunset, or mist in the morning, or hearing a song I haven't heard in years that I forgot how much I loved it.
I'm sure that at times, I suffer more than most from the depths of my emotions, and then I suspect I also experience beauty in a different way, and I know that I can be quite empathetic. I have to be careful about not taking on the emotional burden of others.
I can sometimes feel quite drained at the end of a day, with all of the emotions I have felt, often with great intensity, and navigating all of my feelings and thoughts. I think this is partly why I need a fair amount of alone time, even though I can also sometimes feel lonely. If I were around people more than I already am, it would likely be too difficult.
Anyhow, I am kind of embarrassed about HOW EMOTIONAL I got tonight, even though everyone was very kind about it. I suspected I might cry, and I went up there anyhow and said my piece. And I cried. It would be nice to still say emotional things and not get quite THAT emotional about it. There's even a part of me that's going "oh, no, here we go. AGH. Could we not do this right now? No. We're going to do it. Sigh".
Can anyone relate?
I wasn't really winning an award, but we all got to speak, and I got a little...sincere I suppose.
I teared up, and it was tough to continue speaking, and that frustrates me because I'm not UPSET, just kind of feeling a lot all at once, and in front of people.
Of course, then you realize that you're crying in front of people, and that makes it harder to stop, because now you're overwhelmed from being on the spot.
I have a tendency to cry or tear up a fair amount, when I'm talking about things I care about. I guess that's how you know I'm being sincere. I don't know that very many people are terribly comfortable seeing someone express that much emotion, though.
It would be nice to not do that, mainly because I think it's just too damn awkward for everyone, and I think they think I'm in more pain than I really am.
I do tend to feel strong emotions, and I wonder what it must be like for someone like my husband, who always seems just pleasantly okay pretty much all the time. Seriously, he can be in a bit better mood than his average, or a bit frustrated, but I don't know that I've ever seen him cry on his own from feeling something, or be all that upset by anything, or, all that moved by anything either.
I can go from feeling love for my animals to the point where I am moved to tears sometimes just sitting with them and thinking about how much I love them. I can cry thinking about pets that have passed, or that sadness of knowing that all of us are mortal.
I can also be moved to great happiness at a beautiful sunset, or mist in the morning, or hearing a song I haven't heard in years that I forgot how much I loved it.
I'm sure that at times, I suffer more than most from the depths of my emotions, and then I suspect I also experience beauty in a different way, and I know that I can be quite empathetic. I have to be careful about not taking on the emotional burden of others.
I can sometimes feel quite drained at the end of a day, with all of the emotions I have felt, often with great intensity, and navigating all of my feelings and thoughts. I think this is partly why I need a fair amount of alone time, even though I can also sometimes feel lonely. If I were around people more than I already am, it would likely be too difficult.
Anyhow, I am kind of embarrassed about HOW EMOTIONAL I got tonight, even though everyone was very kind about it. I suspected I might cry, and I went up there anyhow and said my piece. And I cried. It would be nice to still say emotional things and not get quite THAT emotional about it. There's even a part of me that's going "oh, no, here we go. AGH. Could we not do this right now? No. We're going to do it. Sigh".
Can anyone relate?
no subject
Date: 2024-01-28 09:38 pm (UTC)I am intrinsically phlegmatic, and have always been. (Just because a person is NICE, KIND and GRACIOUS doesn't make them empathetic.) But some odd situations, songs, and animal plight - dogs' especially - will evoke tears. It would be nice if I could figure out what the triggers were, but apart from sadness evoked by the brevity of animal life, I don't have a clue. Insight isn't as clear as I'd like it to be.
Anxiety is also a bugbear. Young Mungo is due for his operation. It is far more complicated than normal, as he is a crypto-orchid... thus internal surgery. It is bringing about horrible fear and anxiety. It's a necessary surgery, but I must do everything possible to assuage fear.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-28 10:21 pm (UTC)I also agree that I am often far more moved by the plights of animals, likely because THEY often are not in a position to help themselves, whereas more humans could do something for themselves if they were ready to do so.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-29 08:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-01-29 08:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-01-29 08:45 am (UTC)