Saturday, June 22
Jun. 22nd, 2024 11:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gottawonderToday I am grateful for:
Lovely weather.
Eventually getting something done, though all day I felt like I was fighting against myself over everything that needed to be done, and all the things that were just bothering me.
I've been frustrated over how long it is taking to get to the part of the house that will be our bedroom. It has sat for about two years now, with no new progress. We have had this house for about five years now, and everything is still "in progress" and not finished.
I have been using a very unappealing bathroom all this time, and in order to get our new bathroom on the main floor, I have to have the new bedroom ready to move into (because the new bathroom will be in our current bed room).
The floor needs to be finished. We have reclaimed fir boards for it, so that it matches the rest of this lovely old house. Those boards are all stored in the basement, so until that floor is installed...ta da! We can't use the basement for a living space.
Because of how we planned things, the room we are currently using for our bedroom, which is small, will become a large bathroom and connect to the new bedroom with a door. That means cutting a doorway into the wall between those two rooms, which means....we kind of have to have a sleeping area somewhere else in the house while this is happening, so we can get everything out of our current bedroom.
So, all of this points to our current living room, which means where does everything in the living room go?
There really just isn't anywhere. So, we have an okay couch that my husband says can't go in the basement, so do we just get rid of it, and some day buy another one?
We also have a dining room table in there (this room is just full, and kind of useless for an actual purpose right now, or shall I say has been for the past five years) that maybe we can just take apart and store somewhere. Chairs.
So, I had a good melt down over all of this, because I am LOSING IT over how long everything is taking, and the endless feeling of everything being makeshift and unfinished, and disorganized.
I am trying to empty that living room so that:
A) I can fix the cracks in the plaster walls and repaint that room.
B) We can make it our bedroom so that we can keep working in the future bedroom.
This does come with risks though, mainly the risk of having the bedroom in the living room "working just fine" so that my husband turns that situation into something that lasts for years. I do not want to live in the living room for more than a month, but it's likely going to be a lot longer. Sigh.
I had phone conversations with Sister E, who seemed to be unable to follow my conversation very well, and Trainwreck.
Trainwreck found a "nice area rug" in someone's garbage pile, and she's trying to clean it to put in her suite.
She was also upset over not being able to buy a pair of zebra striped chairs at a yard sale. She literally has NO ROOM AT ALL for chairs, but she wanted to buy them anyway.
At some point real soon, she is going to have to confront her hoarding issues, or risk getting kicked out of the lodge.
I finally channeled my rage into just settling for mowing the grass inside the round pen, and raking the clippings up and taking them away. Well, that ended up being a pretty big job, and a "new" job in the sense that I didn't have to worry about that before we got the round pen. You have to keep the grass down in it, or you pretty much can't expect to have a horse's attention for very long.
Then I spent some time combing Dandy's very thick mane. Seriously, it is ridiculously thick.
I am just tired of always having to push so hard to get things done on the house. My husband would joyfully just tinker away at one little bit here and there for the rest of his life, never really caring about what it looks like or how it is to live in it.
He would spend most of his time riding his bike or going to the climbing gym, and enjoy being able to TELL people that he's "working on a house". It sounds cool, right? Yeah, we're restoring this lovely old farm house.
Never mind that he seems to hate doing the actual work on it, unless there is NO PRESSURE to ever finish anything.
Lovely weather.
Eventually getting something done, though all day I felt like I was fighting against myself over everything that needed to be done, and all the things that were just bothering me.
I've been frustrated over how long it is taking to get to the part of the house that will be our bedroom. It has sat for about two years now, with no new progress. We have had this house for about five years now, and everything is still "in progress" and not finished.
I have been using a very unappealing bathroom all this time, and in order to get our new bathroom on the main floor, I have to have the new bedroom ready to move into (because the new bathroom will be in our current bed room).
The floor needs to be finished. We have reclaimed fir boards for it, so that it matches the rest of this lovely old house. Those boards are all stored in the basement, so until that floor is installed...ta da! We can't use the basement for a living space.
Because of how we planned things, the room we are currently using for our bedroom, which is small, will become a large bathroom and connect to the new bedroom with a door. That means cutting a doorway into the wall between those two rooms, which means....we kind of have to have a sleeping area somewhere else in the house while this is happening, so we can get everything out of our current bedroom.
So, all of this points to our current living room, which means where does everything in the living room go?
There really just isn't anywhere. So, we have an okay couch that my husband says can't go in the basement, so do we just get rid of it, and some day buy another one?
We also have a dining room table in there (this room is just full, and kind of useless for an actual purpose right now, or shall I say has been for the past five years) that maybe we can just take apart and store somewhere. Chairs.
So, I had a good melt down over all of this, because I am LOSING IT over how long everything is taking, and the endless feeling of everything being makeshift and unfinished, and disorganized.
I am trying to empty that living room so that:
A) I can fix the cracks in the plaster walls and repaint that room.
B) We can make it our bedroom so that we can keep working in the future bedroom.
This does come with risks though, mainly the risk of having the bedroom in the living room "working just fine" so that my husband turns that situation into something that lasts for years. I do not want to live in the living room for more than a month, but it's likely going to be a lot longer. Sigh.
I had phone conversations with Sister E, who seemed to be unable to follow my conversation very well, and Trainwreck.
Trainwreck found a "nice area rug" in someone's garbage pile, and she's trying to clean it to put in her suite.
She was also upset over not being able to buy a pair of zebra striped chairs at a yard sale. She literally has NO ROOM AT ALL for chairs, but she wanted to buy them anyway.
At some point real soon, she is going to have to confront her hoarding issues, or risk getting kicked out of the lodge.
I finally channeled my rage into just settling for mowing the grass inside the round pen, and raking the clippings up and taking them away. Well, that ended up being a pretty big job, and a "new" job in the sense that I didn't have to worry about that before we got the round pen. You have to keep the grass down in it, or you pretty much can't expect to have a horse's attention for very long.
Then I spent some time combing Dandy's very thick mane. Seriously, it is ridiculously thick.
I am just tired of always having to push so hard to get things done on the house. My husband would joyfully just tinker away at one little bit here and there for the rest of his life, never really caring about what it looks like or how it is to live in it.
He would spend most of his time riding his bike or going to the climbing gym, and enjoy being able to TELL people that he's "working on a house". It sounds cool, right? Yeah, we're restoring this lovely old farm house.
Never mind that he seems to hate doing the actual work on it, unless there is NO PRESSURE to ever finish anything.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-24 07:57 am (UTC)I also hope to get a back fence and a porch done in the next couple of months. ::sigh::
no subject
Date: 2024-06-24 09:22 am (UTC)I feel like I am the one who still has a sense of urgency about getting things FINISHED.
It doesn't bother him to think that we might still be several years away from having the basement finished, but it bothers me because we have most of our books in storage because there is nowhere to put them.
The basement is supposed to become a finished recreation area, with book shelves and a place to work out.
Yes, there is also going to be ongoing maintenance too, on top of still trying to finish things.
I feel like I can't back down for a moment on always pushing for the next thing to be started, I always want to see something in progress. ALWAYS.
It's exhausting, frankly. I feel like it takes up far too much of my life, and I would love to win a million dollars and just move out of the house for a few months and pay a crew to just finish the whole thing.
You know what he would do if we won a million dollars? He would quit his job, and want to finish the house on his own, slowly, over the course of several years.
I want to work with the animals, walk, bike, etc, paint, read, and do just the normal work of maintaining the yard and clean the house, but instead we have to have our endless terse conversations about "what are we doing this week on the house" and then trying to get something done.
I know I sound like a broken record, and I FEEL like one too.