Tuesday, November 26
Nov. 27th, 2024 01:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gottawonderToday I am grateful for:
Good sleep. Sweet kitties.
I am glad for our toasty warm home, and all of our creature comforts. That our animals are cared for and loved, when so many are not.
I tried to have a conversation with Sister E, that once again was not very successful. She is just rude, really. She answered my call, but was at some place with friends where they were doing some quiz thing for fun, so she just starts asking me quiz questions to see if I know the answers, with all of her friends talking in the background.
Then she says "I'm going to the car, I can talk with you while I drive home". So she proceeds to talk about this and that, a feud between two of her friends that is forcing people who know them to take sides, that kind of thing.
By now I've gone along with her choice of topics for about 20 minutes. I started to talk about what's going on in my life, which right now is all the stuff going on in pottery.
I didn't talk for very long, less than five minutes, when she abruptly says "well, I'm home now. Bye".
Okay, maybe no one wants to hear about what's going on in pottery. I get it. There are ways of changing the subject after a few minutes, right? Or, just be straight forward and say "I know this means a lot to you, but it's a pretty dry topic for me, is there other stuff going on in your life we could talk about?".
So, I did text her later, asking her how interested she actually is in hearing from me. I mentioned that I seem to be the one to reach out to her, that she doesn't take the initiative to call me or let me know when she has time to talk, and then she does things like cut me off when she gets home or whatever and I'm in the middle of saying something.
It's possible that she really doesn't like talking to me, but maybe that's what I need to accept. She doesn't care, doesn't like how my calls eat up her time, or whatever. I used to think she enjoyed my calls, but maybe that's a thing of the past now that she lives in town and has a more active social life.
I find myself feeling like I just don't even have a family, even though I have eight siblings and untold numbers of nieces and nephews not that much younger than myself that I grew up knowing.
So, today was just fine on the outside, but inside I'm upset about how isolated I am from family, how little they care, and what that might mean as I get older.
On top of that, I am struggling with all the stuff going on with pottery, and what THAT might mean for me going forward as S probably strengthens her strangle hold on the studio.
I did not have time to work with Dandy and Wonder, as my husband wanted to take my car to our mechanic, to leave overnight so he can change the tires tomorrow, and put on winter tires.
I can use my husband's car tomorrow, and he can take the truck to work.
So today, because I didn't know until today that we were doing this, that meant I had to move my horse stuff to his car, or put it away in the trailer storage, and then drive with him to the mechanic's (you have to take two vehicles to be able to leave one there and drive back together in the other one) and back home.
My Sweetie did come with me to work with River, which is nice. I think the heater makes this a nicer option now.
River was really good today, as far as energy and being forward and very connected to me. I'm very happy with all of that.
He is doing this odd thing that is hard to explain here, so I have something to ask R about tomorrow.
Our ridden work was good too, he felt nice and loose.
R said SHE wore that "Back on Track" back warmer under her bareback pad and it didn't seem to irritate the horses, so I tried that today.
We came home, and we tried the wood stove for the first time! It throws a LOT of heat. When it is running the furnace doesn't kick in. If we can be consistent about using this wood stove, it might bring our heating bill down a LOT.
We ate and watched some "Scooby Doo" episodes, which frankly are getting mind numbing, but my husband enjoys them.
Good sleep. Sweet kitties.
I am glad for our toasty warm home, and all of our creature comforts. That our animals are cared for and loved, when so many are not.
I tried to have a conversation with Sister E, that once again was not very successful. She is just rude, really. She answered my call, but was at some place with friends where they were doing some quiz thing for fun, so she just starts asking me quiz questions to see if I know the answers, with all of her friends talking in the background.
Then she says "I'm going to the car, I can talk with you while I drive home". So she proceeds to talk about this and that, a feud between two of her friends that is forcing people who know them to take sides, that kind of thing.
By now I've gone along with her choice of topics for about 20 minutes. I started to talk about what's going on in my life, which right now is all the stuff going on in pottery.
I didn't talk for very long, less than five minutes, when she abruptly says "well, I'm home now. Bye".
Okay, maybe no one wants to hear about what's going on in pottery. I get it. There are ways of changing the subject after a few minutes, right? Or, just be straight forward and say "I know this means a lot to you, but it's a pretty dry topic for me, is there other stuff going on in your life we could talk about?".
So, I did text her later, asking her how interested she actually is in hearing from me. I mentioned that I seem to be the one to reach out to her, that she doesn't take the initiative to call me or let me know when she has time to talk, and then she does things like cut me off when she gets home or whatever and I'm in the middle of saying something.
It's possible that she really doesn't like talking to me, but maybe that's what I need to accept. She doesn't care, doesn't like how my calls eat up her time, or whatever. I used to think she enjoyed my calls, but maybe that's a thing of the past now that she lives in town and has a more active social life.
I find myself feeling like I just don't even have a family, even though I have eight siblings and untold numbers of nieces and nephews not that much younger than myself that I grew up knowing.
So, today was just fine on the outside, but inside I'm upset about how isolated I am from family, how little they care, and what that might mean as I get older.
On top of that, I am struggling with all the stuff going on with pottery, and what THAT might mean for me going forward as S probably strengthens her strangle hold on the studio.
I did not have time to work with Dandy and Wonder, as my husband wanted to take my car to our mechanic, to leave overnight so he can change the tires tomorrow, and put on winter tires.
I can use my husband's car tomorrow, and he can take the truck to work.
So today, because I didn't know until today that we were doing this, that meant I had to move my horse stuff to his car, or put it away in the trailer storage, and then drive with him to the mechanic's (you have to take two vehicles to be able to leave one there and drive back together in the other one) and back home.
My Sweetie did come with me to work with River, which is nice. I think the heater makes this a nicer option now.
River was really good today, as far as energy and being forward and very connected to me. I'm very happy with all of that.
He is doing this odd thing that is hard to explain here, so I have something to ask R about tomorrow.
Our ridden work was good too, he felt nice and loose.
R said SHE wore that "Back on Track" back warmer under her bareback pad and it didn't seem to irritate the horses, so I tried that today.
We came home, and we tried the wood stove for the first time! It throws a LOT of heat. When it is running the furnace doesn't kick in. If we can be consistent about using this wood stove, it might bring our heating bill down a LOT.
We ate and watched some "Scooby Doo" episodes, which frankly are getting mind numbing, but my husband enjoys them.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-29 12:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-11-29 06:05 am (UTC)My life wouldn't be over if nothing improves at the pottery studio, but it would bother me every time some new issue arose from the lack of effective leadership/group input.
Even if I just couldn't go to pottery at all, my life wouldn't be over. Maybe I would just find something else to do with that time.
I just really enjoy making pottery, I have a few people I like there, it's been a good social situation for me, and I would miss it.
As for my Sister E, once again, I have to try and have some kind of perspective.
I think there is literally something a bit off with her. I've talked to other sisters, and Sister E doesn't call them either. So maybe she just is so easily distracted by life or whatever that she doesn't have the mental space to care about what other people are doing.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-01 07:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-12-01 07:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-12-01 06:58 pm (UTC)