A tribute to my Aunt Eleanor.
Jan. 28th, 2025 11:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gottawonderMy Aunt Eleanor passed away today, and while she did have a long life, a pretty good life, and so on, I'm going to miss her.
She and my Uncle M were married almost all of their lives. I don't even know for sure how long...sixty years or more.
My Uncle is my Mom's brother, so Aunt E is our aunt by marriage. They lived on the farm that my Grandfather raised them on, and they lived there for about 50 years before moving to town. They raised four daughters together, and have LOTS of grand kids, and some great grand kids.
When I was a baby, my Dad passed away, and I lived for a few months with Aunt E's brother and his wife, and I'm sure Aunt E helped look after me a lot too, until my Mom was okay to bring me home.
I spent time at Aunt E and Uncle M's place every summer, usually at least a week, because my cousin N was about the same age. So I would go there for a week or two, and cousin N would come spend time with us.
Aunt E SEEMED tough, but she was a big softie. Once I figured her out, I understood that even though she made a lot of noise and fussed all the time, she was mostly bluff. It became funny every time Uncle M came in to eat or have a coffee, she would make all this noise at him for some reason or another, and he just nodded and smiled and agreed with her, OR provoked her a bit because it was fun to watch her fluff up her feathers.
I think the one time their relationship was in serious trouble though, was when they were saving up money FOREVER to replace their kitchen cupboards, and he went and bought a stock trailer with the money instead. He was in some deep crap for that, and it took a long time after that still before she got those cupboards.
Aunt E lived in the kitchen. I'm not sure if I ever saw her sit down in their living room, or if I even saw her anywhere else BUT her kitchen. She did garden. She also went for a walk every day one mile down the road to the little cemetery.
She liked to cook in general, but she LOVED to bake. She was always baking. Probably in part because Uncle M loved to eat her baking, and she enjoyed seeing him eat it. She always put out dainties or cookies or muffins or pie at ordinary meals, which I couldn't BELIEVE as a kid. We had some kind of dessert usually at supper, but it was simple stuff like instant pudding or ice cream. Aunt E would have home made chocolate chip cookies or Nanaimo bars for LUNCH AND SUPPER.
She put out big plates of dainties or whatever else she had been baking any time someone visited. She even made her own bread/buns and lots of things like banana bread.
She had a whole freezer full of baked goods, ready to be pulled out any time she had a visitor. Even in her later years I was often given things to bring back for my husband, and I had to stop eating her treats because of my own blood sugar issues.
My brother T used to spend the summer at their place too, and worked for them. He loved all the treats, and his favorite was her apple pie.
Also a key thing about her, was her openness about romance, when I was used to my Mom's complete lack of discussion about love, men, sex, or becoming a woman. While I didn't end up talking to Aunt E about puberty, my cousin grew up with a comfortable attitude towards it.
My Aunt had tons of sexy night gowns that we were allowed to try on, and she had all these racy books and magazines.
Only a few years ago, she said something to me about how she and Uncle M had "quite a sex life", which was maybe TMI, but also hilarious. I'm glad for them.
I always got the impression that they loved each other very much, even when they fought a bit, or when they annoyed each other, and that was good too, to know that there was room in a loving relationship for imperfection.
When I was an adult, I didn't see them that much because I didn't live near my family, and visits home focused on seeing my Mom and immediate family, though I did see them a few times when they were still at the farm.
Then when they moved to town, I saw them every time I came home to visit Mom, because they were in the same small town. In a lot of ways, I feel like I only really got to know them when they were in town, because that's the first time I really related with them as an adult.
By then they already seemed VERY OLD all of a sudden, though they lived in town together for over 15 years. Every time I went home they just seemed older and more frail, though that's normal, isn't it.
I had a hard time leaving their house sometimes, because you got the feeling that they were lonely. They probably missed being busy on the farm, and all the happy noise of having a house full of kids, a dog, and lots of visitors.
Aunt E was always such a feisty, kind person who was always ready with a plate of treats and a hug. She was always ready to give her opinion, to tell a story, and share pictures of her family.
I will miss her very much.
She and my Uncle M were married almost all of their lives. I don't even know for sure how long...sixty years or more.
My Uncle is my Mom's brother, so Aunt E is our aunt by marriage. They lived on the farm that my Grandfather raised them on, and they lived there for about 50 years before moving to town. They raised four daughters together, and have LOTS of grand kids, and some great grand kids.
When I was a baby, my Dad passed away, and I lived for a few months with Aunt E's brother and his wife, and I'm sure Aunt E helped look after me a lot too, until my Mom was okay to bring me home.
I spent time at Aunt E and Uncle M's place every summer, usually at least a week, because my cousin N was about the same age. So I would go there for a week or two, and cousin N would come spend time with us.
Aunt E SEEMED tough, but she was a big softie. Once I figured her out, I understood that even though she made a lot of noise and fussed all the time, she was mostly bluff. It became funny every time Uncle M came in to eat or have a coffee, she would make all this noise at him for some reason or another, and he just nodded and smiled and agreed with her, OR provoked her a bit because it was fun to watch her fluff up her feathers.
I think the one time their relationship was in serious trouble though, was when they were saving up money FOREVER to replace their kitchen cupboards, and he went and bought a stock trailer with the money instead. He was in some deep crap for that, and it took a long time after that still before she got those cupboards.
Aunt E lived in the kitchen. I'm not sure if I ever saw her sit down in their living room, or if I even saw her anywhere else BUT her kitchen. She did garden. She also went for a walk every day one mile down the road to the little cemetery.
She liked to cook in general, but she LOVED to bake. She was always baking. Probably in part because Uncle M loved to eat her baking, and she enjoyed seeing him eat it. She always put out dainties or cookies or muffins or pie at ordinary meals, which I couldn't BELIEVE as a kid. We had some kind of dessert usually at supper, but it was simple stuff like instant pudding or ice cream. Aunt E would have home made chocolate chip cookies or Nanaimo bars for LUNCH AND SUPPER.
She put out big plates of dainties or whatever else she had been baking any time someone visited. She even made her own bread/buns and lots of things like banana bread.
She had a whole freezer full of baked goods, ready to be pulled out any time she had a visitor. Even in her later years I was often given things to bring back for my husband, and I had to stop eating her treats because of my own blood sugar issues.
My brother T used to spend the summer at their place too, and worked for them. He loved all the treats, and his favorite was her apple pie.
Also a key thing about her, was her openness about romance, when I was used to my Mom's complete lack of discussion about love, men, sex, or becoming a woman. While I didn't end up talking to Aunt E about puberty, my cousin grew up with a comfortable attitude towards it.
My Aunt had tons of sexy night gowns that we were allowed to try on, and she had all these racy books and magazines.
Only a few years ago, she said something to me about how she and Uncle M had "quite a sex life", which was maybe TMI, but also hilarious. I'm glad for them.
I always got the impression that they loved each other very much, even when they fought a bit, or when they annoyed each other, and that was good too, to know that there was room in a loving relationship for imperfection.
When I was an adult, I didn't see them that much because I didn't live near my family, and visits home focused on seeing my Mom and immediate family, though I did see them a few times when they were still at the farm.
Then when they moved to town, I saw them every time I came home to visit Mom, because they were in the same small town. In a lot of ways, I feel like I only really got to know them when they were in town, because that's the first time I really related with them as an adult.
By then they already seemed VERY OLD all of a sudden, though they lived in town together for over 15 years. Every time I went home they just seemed older and more frail, though that's normal, isn't it.
I had a hard time leaving their house sometimes, because you got the feeling that they were lonely. They probably missed being busy on the farm, and all the happy noise of having a house full of kids, a dog, and lots of visitors.
Aunt E was always such a feisty, kind person who was always ready with a plate of treats and a hug. She was always ready to give her opinion, to tell a story, and share pictures of her family.
I will miss her very much.
no subject
Date: 2025-01-29 07:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-01-29 07:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-01-30 03:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-01-30 04:14 am (UTC)So thanks for sharing a glimpse of your dear Aunt Eleanor here, and I hope that her memories and love surround you in a continued hug because her love in so many ways is still right there for you. I know it's not the same, but somehow still is very real.
no subject
Date: 2025-01-30 07:33 am (UTC)I think that whatever it is that we do, whether it is baking, or cleaning, or art, or singing, that is what we can bring into the world and give to others.
no subject
Date: 2025-02-04 08:03 am (UTC)