Tuesday, January 28
Jan. 29th, 2025 12:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gottawonderToday I am grateful for:
Getting decent sleep.
I talked for an extended period of time with D from pottery on the phone. It's really great to feel like this is a real friendship, as I very much want a friend or two in my life to talk with, and maybe do things with from time to time.
Then I spoke with Sister E, and she gave me the news that Aunt E had passed. I couldn't talk with her for very long, since I needed to finish chores and get to the barn to see River, but we'll likely talk again soon.
My Aunt's family is having a viewing that I won't likely attend, but also a memorial service later in the spring, which I probably will attend.
My Uncle M is back in the care home, and I hope he's doing okay. His dementia means he will probably not really understand that Aunt E is gone now, or he will have to remember it again and again. Shudder.
I went to the barn to see River, and talked with K for a little while about my Aunt's passing. He shared with me that his Mom passed away when he was only 20, and he gets pretty sad every year on her birthday.
K is a very empathetic man. He talks about feelings a lot.
River was already in the barn eating his mash, which was nice because I didn't have to go catch him (though he's good to catch).
R was in the arena riding Halle (the mare I worked with on Friday), which is nice. For a while she wasn't sure she should be riding Halle anymore because of her being on the thin side, but the veterinarian said that Halle needed to keep her muscle tone, and for her circulation since she has some lymph issues in her hind legs.
River was not very forward today, but he did well with the yields. I stood up again for a count of 30.
I rode for a while, and got a few good, correct steps for the side pass in each direction.
I did my best to compartmentalize my feelings about Aunt E for later, because I really need to work with River for my own happiness, and I have to remember that it is possible to be sad, and to keep "living".
I came home and took Dandy back to his normal pen, and he's just so adorable and sweet.
My Sweetie worked some more in the area above the sink, removing a big bolt that had been holding up that shelf we removed, and doing more patching and sanding.
He had supper ready, and we caught up on each other's day.
Peavey Mart, a pretty big chain of farm supplies, pet food, farm clothes etc. is going out of business. This is a BIG chain in Canada, and pretty important to a lot of small towns. He stopped in at one on the way home and picked up one or two things that were on sale for us; a spare sump pump for our septic system and a good rake.
I'm sure we'll be going back there over and over, as things go on clearance.
There are some other stores that serve similar purposes, but not QUITE, and at the same time, it's important to have competition. Lots of small towns only had Peavey Mart as a farm store.
I read that the company might re-open some of the stores under a different name, and still sell similar items, but the closing of all the stores gives them a chance to avoid bankruptcy and to decide which stores were actually profitable.
I do hope they re-open with something similar, as it was a Canadian store, and important in a lot of communities.
Then we watched an episode of "The Orville".
Getting decent sleep.
I talked for an extended period of time with D from pottery on the phone. It's really great to feel like this is a real friendship, as I very much want a friend or two in my life to talk with, and maybe do things with from time to time.
Then I spoke with Sister E, and she gave me the news that Aunt E had passed. I couldn't talk with her for very long, since I needed to finish chores and get to the barn to see River, but we'll likely talk again soon.
My Aunt's family is having a viewing that I won't likely attend, but also a memorial service later in the spring, which I probably will attend.
My Uncle M is back in the care home, and I hope he's doing okay. His dementia means he will probably not really understand that Aunt E is gone now, or he will have to remember it again and again. Shudder.
I went to the barn to see River, and talked with K for a little while about my Aunt's passing. He shared with me that his Mom passed away when he was only 20, and he gets pretty sad every year on her birthday.
K is a very empathetic man. He talks about feelings a lot.
River was already in the barn eating his mash, which was nice because I didn't have to go catch him (though he's good to catch).
R was in the arena riding Halle (the mare I worked with on Friday), which is nice. For a while she wasn't sure she should be riding Halle anymore because of her being on the thin side, but the veterinarian said that Halle needed to keep her muscle tone, and for her circulation since she has some lymph issues in her hind legs.
River was not very forward today, but he did well with the yields. I stood up again for a count of 30.
I rode for a while, and got a few good, correct steps for the side pass in each direction.
I did my best to compartmentalize my feelings about Aunt E for later, because I really need to work with River for my own happiness, and I have to remember that it is possible to be sad, and to keep "living".
I came home and took Dandy back to his normal pen, and he's just so adorable and sweet.
My Sweetie worked some more in the area above the sink, removing a big bolt that had been holding up that shelf we removed, and doing more patching and sanding.
He had supper ready, and we caught up on each other's day.
Peavey Mart, a pretty big chain of farm supplies, pet food, farm clothes etc. is going out of business. This is a BIG chain in Canada, and pretty important to a lot of small towns. He stopped in at one on the way home and picked up one or two things that were on sale for us; a spare sump pump for our septic system and a good rake.
I'm sure we'll be going back there over and over, as things go on clearance.
There are some other stores that serve similar purposes, but not QUITE, and at the same time, it's important to have competition. Lots of small towns only had Peavey Mart as a farm store.
I read that the company might re-open some of the stores under a different name, and still sell similar items, but the closing of all the stores gives them a chance to avoid bankruptcy and to decide which stores were actually profitable.
I do hope they re-open with something similar, as it was a Canadian store, and important in a lot of communities.
Then we watched an episode of "The Orville".
no subject
Date: 2025-01-30 03:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-01-30 07:41 am (UTC)In some ways, when it is an older, more frail person, you can recognize that they will only be around so much longer a few years before they pass, and in that way their death is sad, but recognized as inevitable.
In some ways, I'm glad she was spared years of being somewhat separated from her husband if he was needing to be in a care home and she was still managing in a suite at the lodge. Even if she could visit him, she would be alone at night for the first time in about 60 years, and he is not the same person anymore with Dementia.
I've seen how life is for Mom, and though she is content and comfortable, life at her age in a care home is more like some kind of limbo, half in and half out of being alive. She doesn't know who we are, where she is, or what she's done or said even moments before. She's not really suffering, but it's not really being alive either.
It's okay that Aunt E. passed at a fairly old age, and was still in her own home baking for people right to the end.
Yes, I want to give myself time to process things, but at the same time I feel okay to keep doing the things that make life "life" for me.
no subject
Date: 2025-02-04 06:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-02-03 06:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-02-03 09:05 pm (UTC)