Wednesday, February 5

[gottawonder]

Today I am grateful for:

Decent sleep.

It seems like now Trainwreck wants to talk EVERY DAY. I guess it would be okay if it were less than half an hour, and reasonably positive. It's just kind of a roll of the dice if it's just a straightforward chat, or if it's "MY LIFE HAS NO MEANING".

Today was fairly positive, and I'm happy for her. She now has a cleaning person coming once a week, but it sounds like this person is also willing to help her get to appointments and get groceries.

I'm very happy that she's doing this, she hasn't been able to clean, and she has hoarding issues, which she says this person might also help her go through her stuff and help her get to a more reasonable level of stuff ownership, which if that happens...GREAT!

I think the impetus behind this is twofold. One, her sons are seeing her place more often and it's harder to ignore. Two, she has very little space. She's used to living in huge old houses, or places with garages where she can fill them right up but also still have some area to sit down. In this tiny suite there is nowhere for anything to go except right on top of her bed.

Also, the building managers are going to be doing a bedbug inspection, which I think is a brilliant way of saying "we're going to be making sure nothing horrible is happening in these suites". I think it sunk in for my sister that she can't do her usual thing here, because she would risk being evicted.

Her usual thing is quite horrible. Usually she gets depressed and lets the food rot in the fridge or wherever it might be sitting out, the dishes pile up, the pots half full of food mold in the sink of water, garbage builds up, until there are bugs everywhere, mold, and mice/rats. When she was drinking/smoking, it would be cans and cigarette butts all over the place too. AND..she used to have lots of cats, enough said. Pots and pots of dead plants everywhere too.

I think these rent controlled building managers understand their tenants very well, and I think these "bedbug inspections" that likely happen frequently are a way to intervene in these kinds of situations.

So, I think she was smart to FINALLY get a cleaner, who seems to understand the situation.

Trainwreck's health is also to the point where it sounds like she's not really walking more than a few steps. She said today that she didn't feel safe walking around in the building, in case she couldn't make it back to her suite.

After that, I did regular chores. It's a hair less cold today, maybe -21 C or so.

I went to the barn, today was our lesson day. R said she was okay with the cold, she'd been outside lots already and was fine.

We had a really good lesson today. River was pretty focused, and reasonably forward. We did some very good stationary trot circles at Liberty, and in our ridden work we did spirals in and out at the trot and canter, focusing on maintaining an even rhythm, and he did well with that. A very good session overall.

I came home and put Dandy back, and it was so cute; when I got out of the car he was waiting at the gate in Wonder's pen, knowing it was time to go back to his normal pen with Ursula. Sometimes he barely seems like the same little half wild pony who would run away from me for half an hour before I could catch him.

My Sweetie had a good session at the climbing gym. He saw some of the other people there that often climb at the same time he does.

He made supper and we watched the first episode of "The Knick". Holy crap! I only have the first two episodes, as they were a bonus promotional thing with another series we have. I'm wondering how to get the rest of the series.

Comments

[cf2princessawnw]

I'm glad for the good. A little alarmed about the rent control departments only because I was looking when the other day and seeing all these inspections for bed bugs. It seems incredibly overbearing that they have the right to just come in check for anything and then do whatever treatment they want regardless of the tenant. Obviously I'm thinking about me with all the health restrictions, but then I've never lived anywhere that had bed bugs. I wouldn't even know what one looked like. So that's kind of unnerving if that really is a thing and actual concern in places like that. Makes me wonder just what kind of neighbors I'd be getting, although we had a neighbor upstairs once who had so much junk they ended up with roaches. And then the whole building had to deal with it. Shuuuudddddeeerrrr. I hate bugs. If they're outside in their own habitat, peace be upon them. But when they come inside, just know. But what you said made sense as to why landlords have to take care of situations that can arise from different people's lifestyles. And not that rich people can't get into trouble too, but many people that are poor and low income have a lot of reasons to not care and be defeated in life. So yeah that makes sense why they need to be checked on so to speak.

[gottawonder]

I would be annoyed at the intrusions, BUT I would rather have intrusions than have to deal with an infestation of bed bugs.

As I mentioned, since these are sort of "last resort" housing situations, I understand that probably people with a lot of life issues live there.

People who hoard, people who are depressed and maybe not keeping things tidy, people who might be trying to hide the fact that they have pets, possible drug or alcohol abuse, and so on.

Also, it might be a way to make sure that the tenants are okay. Some of these people might live there a long time, and they might reach a point where they need to be in a personal care home, but they don't have any family making sure that they get moved to one when they need it.

Some people, if no one ever checks on them, can develop dementia, start having issues with continence, or can't get around on their own anymore. It's always possible that some of these people might die in their suite with no one knowing.

Those bedbug checks are likely overall wellness checks as much as anything, and it's probably good that they do them.

[cf2princessawnw]

I hope that I never end up in housing like that but if I do, it helps to have that perspective that it might also be wellness checks. Being in the circumstances that I have in this area, I am more aware of watching for abuse of what should be considered caring privileges. I am certain in this area people have used that excuse about bed bugs too abuse their power. But still, it's nice to realize that there will be other areas but that's not the case, and as you mentioned, it really is just to check on people, and in many of those circumstances that is a definite and real kindness. There's a very well-known well-loved man on Smule who just passed away, and his close friends had said that they hate that it was from physical illnesses that kept him isolated and then exacerbated his mental illnesses, and that if he had just had people that would check in on him more he might still be around. I don't know the circumstances and I'm certainly in a position myself to realize that people can say something from the outside that may not be true from the inside. Nonetheless, if that was this man's case, well then it paints a little bit more of a reality to the circumstances you mentioned. And it's incredibly sad to think of a Housing Development like that with so many people one step away from homelessness it sounds like. I don't like to think about being in that category. But as we've all talked about here in the past, there is definitely something to be said for mindset and trajectory of it.

[gottawonder]

I don't feel that the housing my sister lives in is necessarily a bad or depressing place, other than as a natural circumstance of it being full of older people with health issues, or disabled people.

I actually think that it is good that places like that exist.

Other than being really small, a suite in a senior's lodge or a complex like she's in now is just simple and no frills, but not necessarily run down or ugly.

I would find it tough to go from living in a good sized house to a small suite, BUT I lived in places that were that size when I was younger, when I first moved away from home.

Most of the time suites like this have a bedroom, and another room that is a small galley kitchen and a living room kind of combined, then a bathroom. If you have more money and aren't in the absolute cheapest suite, there are nicer, bigger, two bedroom suites in the lodge.

Yes, these places are in some cases a bit of a last resort, in that many are on pension or disability and can't afford anything else. There is also the safety aspect of it being in an apartment building where there are people there during the day, and wellness checks. It's not a dingy, moldy basement suite somewhere.

The senior's lodge where she was did have a big common area with a pool table, and Trainwreck says that in the building where she lives there are also kind of reading areas on each floor where there's a big window and a couple of chairs.

I can definitely attest that being socially isolated is utterly horrible. During Covid my husband was still working away from home a lot, and I was unable to connect with ANYONE in my normal way. We had to work by ourselves mostly at the riding barn, and pottery was closed for over a year.

I thought I was going to die from sheer loneliness, even when I talked on the phone with my husband and others.

[cf2princessawnw]

It's good you can have peace knowing her situation is as it is, despite her choices in it. It's still got to give you some comfort.

[gottawonder]

I'm not sure about me having any peace about her situation, but I have to accept that she is choosing her situation.

[cf2princessawnw]

💖