Wednesday, March 5
Mar. 5th, 2025 10:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gottawonderToday I am grateful for:
How being able to go to the barn and work with River often helps me feel better.
I started the day feeling badly still about the situation at pottery, though I've come to the realization that this woman, S, reminds me a bit of my niece. The adult niece who is so incredibly sensitive to anything that might be considered to be a conflict or criticism that she just stops talking to whomever may have initiated that interaction.
My niece is ridiculous in the lengths she will go to afterwards to NEVER SEE THAT PERSON AGAIN. Even if that person was in no way an "enemy", but often just a person she felt was threatening her fragile ego in some way, or said or did something that she disliked. You don't usually even get the chance to talk to her, she just cuts you out of her life.
Then, she thinks that means something to you, when often it might take someone a year or more to realize that my niece stopped talking to them, and by then...who cares? It's left my niece in a very isolated situation, though I have to laugh that she manages to patch things up with people that she needs, like her Mom who has a car that my niece uses.
Anyhow, people try to work things out with my niece, even when they shouldn't have to apologize, only to have my niece mad at them again in no time flat.
That's what this person S from the pottery studio is like. You have to constantly worry about "doing something wrong" around her, then "you did something wrong" then YOU have to "make it right", but you'll be in the wrong soon enough again, so why bother?
It does let me realize that a lot of this is not ME being a jerk, but this other person who cannot have adult discourse, and lacks maturity and social skills.
I did talk with Sister E for a while, she was going to visit a friend later, after a day of shopping at the Red Apple on Senior's Day. I guess that's a big thing where she lives.
Then I did chores, and enjoyed the sunshine.
Then I went to the barn for our lesson.
It went well. We did more work on one of the patterns that might be used in an upcoming virtual competition. We broke it down into smaller and smaller pieces trying to iron out the glitches.
Then we did some mounted work with the umbrella again. I demonstrated that I could toss the opened umbrella to the ground and pick it up while still being mounted, and that River was okay with it.
That sparked some thoughts about how to stand on River with the open umbrella, and how you'd go about doing it since I need to use both hands to push myself up, and so on.
It's exciting to think that it could be possible to do this, and again there is a lot of value in breaking something like this down into smaller and smaller bites that make it seem more doable.
Then I came home and made supper, which we ate while chatting.
I'm a little sad that now my husband doesn't seem to want to even watch a show together, just pretty much heads to bed right after supper. That means I'm back to spending very little time with him during the week.
When he goes to the climbing gym and doesn't get home until 8 pm, and expects to be in bed by 9, that leaves very little "we" time.
How being able to go to the barn and work with River often helps me feel better.
I started the day feeling badly still about the situation at pottery, though I've come to the realization that this woman, S, reminds me a bit of my niece. The adult niece who is so incredibly sensitive to anything that might be considered to be a conflict or criticism that she just stops talking to whomever may have initiated that interaction.
My niece is ridiculous in the lengths she will go to afterwards to NEVER SEE THAT PERSON AGAIN. Even if that person was in no way an "enemy", but often just a person she felt was threatening her fragile ego in some way, or said or did something that she disliked. You don't usually even get the chance to talk to her, she just cuts you out of her life.
Then, she thinks that means something to you, when often it might take someone a year or more to realize that my niece stopped talking to them, and by then...who cares? It's left my niece in a very isolated situation, though I have to laugh that she manages to patch things up with people that she needs, like her Mom who has a car that my niece uses.
Anyhow, people try to work things out with my niece, even when they shouldn't have to apologize, only to have my niece mad at them again in no time flat.
That's what this person S from the pottery studio is like. You have to constantly worry about "doing something wrong" around her, then "you did something wrong" then YOU have to "make it right", but you'll be in the wrong soon enough again, so why bother?
It does let me realize that a lot of this is not ME being a jerk, but this other person who cannot have adult discourse, and lacks maturity and social skills.
I did talk with Sister E for a while, she was going to visit a friend later, after a day of shopping at the Red Apple on Senior's Day. I guess that's a big thing where she lives.
Then I did chores, and enjoyed the sunshine.
Then I went to the barn for our lesson.
It went well. We did more work on one of the patterns that might be used in an upcoming virtual competition. We broke it down into smaller and smaller pieces trying to iron out the glitches.
Then we did some mounted work with the umbrella again. I demonstrated that I could toss the opened umbrella to the ground and pick it up while still being mounted, and that River was okay with it.
That sparked some thoughts about how to stand on River with the open umbrella, and how you'd go about doing it since I need to use both hands to push myself up, and so on.
It's exciting to think that it could be possible to do this, and again there is a lot of value in breaking something like this down into smaller and smaller bites that make it seem more doable.
Then I came home and made supper, which we ate while chatting.
I'm a little sad that now my husband doesn't seem to want to even watch a show together, just pretty much heads to bed right after supper. That means I'm back to spending very little time with him during the week.
When he goes to the climbing gym and doesn't get home until 8 pm, and expects to be in bed by 9, that leaves very little "we" time.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-06 06:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-03-07 07:28 am (UTC)My family sucks a lot.
She isn't a bad person, but a person who is fearful, controlling, lonely, likely feels very alone and unwanted, she gets depressed and yet that drives her to pull away from people even more. She has health issues on top of that.
She cannot handle a fight with someone, she can't handle any kind of perceived slight, and is VERY judging of other people.
She's about forty now, and I don't think she's been in a real relationship and probably never will.
She CAN be very compassionate and kind, but she's the kind of person who can't give a gift or help anyone without expectations attached.
This also very much describes S, the woman at the pottery studio. If I had to go with a label, the closest I can think of is the vulnerable narcissist. People whose trauma has made them unable to have real relationships. I don't know what S's trauma might be, but it has to be there somewhere for her to be the way she is.
Both of them probably should have had a lifetime of therapy.