Thursday, May 15
May. 16th, 2025 01:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gottawonderToday I am grateful for:
That the day worked itself out, in spite of me not really being on my game mentally today.
I got up a little early for the farrier. Wonder and Dandy both did very well standing for her today, but Ursula seemed kind of distressed, and we decided to try again another day. Her feet weren't too long, so we'll get back to it in another week or two.
She has a shoulder with an old injury, and I am fairly sure it's arthritic. She favors that leg a lot, though it's better some days, worse on others. Today she was shaking a bit, just looking at the farrier, and we both felt like if she was that worried, we'd leave it.
Yet, I went and picked up her feet later, and she was fine. I have no idea why she reacted that way to the farrier.
After that, since I had already fed the inside animals, and got the farrier appointment done, I tried to sleep some more, which didn't work that well.
I woke to a knock on the door, and a voice, and it was our friend from the city here to drop off her bunny. OF COURSE IT WAS HER. We planned this almost two months ago, and that's the problem. It was so long ago that it completely was off my radar. I know I had asked her to remind me before she came out, but there you go.
Well, I felt terrible for forgetting, because if I had been gone, our friend would be stuck for what to do with her bunny. She was on her way straight to the airport afterwards, to visit a cousin in Quebec.
Well, anyhow, we have Bun again for the next ten days. It will mostly be my Sweetie looking after him.
I talked with Sister E today, and things are not looking good for Mom at all. She's not taking in fluids, and since we've gotten to this point with her, they're not putting her on IV fluids either. Sister E was there visiting with her, and other family is with Mom know round the clock.
So I'm planning to leave tomorrow, and if Mom is still alive, I'm thinking of going to the town where she is in the hospital, and getting a room there for a night or two first.
I'm feeling very much at loose ends, trying to pack for a week away, trying to plan for getting everything organized to make things easy for my husband, trying to figure out what to bring to give to people (we all do this, we find things or make things that we give away at our annual family gathering. It's a bit like a swap meet sometimes).
I was a bit unsure of what to wear for my Aunt's memorial service. I have an outfit, but I'm thinking it might be too dressy. I'm wondering if half the people there will just be wearing jeans and a nice shirt. I don't want to look out of place. It's outside partly, and it might be cold, too. OR it could be 25 C.
Part of me thinks a person should at least wear nice pants to a service, and not just jeans, but if I'm the only one....?
I pulled out a pair of shoes to see if they looked right, and they were kind of cracking. They were not real leather, and I confess I've never worn them, but they are probably close to 20 years old. They looked perfect, but they're OLD. So, there you go.
I had a pair of shoes (I wore those ones a lot) have the rubbery heel disintegrate a while ago, a new pair of boots I bought have the sole crumble the first time I went to wear them (I was able to return them), and now a stored pair of shoes are crumbling. It feels like the Universe is saying something to me (likely telling me to wear the nice things I have stored).
I chose more pottery to give away. I felt okay doing that. I sometimes feel like hanging onto it, as it's all beautiful to me, but I am trying to get to where most of it becomes a gift to someone, so that it is used and appreciated, not sitting in a box.
My Sweetie and I put most of the things I am taking into the car. He got the clip on the one walker fixed, so I can give that to someone. I am trying to leave some kind of space in the back for me to lie down and nap, because I generally do that at some point, or I need to when I get to my destination because now my sleep schedule is a mess.
When the back seats are laid down, the back of the car has a fair amount of room.
So, the whole day felt "messy", and I did not feel on top of things or like I was in my daily groove.
I did some laundry so I could take some of the things that needed washing. I packed some clothes, I packed the canned/dry foods I want to take.
We gave everyone some time in the pastures, and walked around with Roxy. We ate, and watched an episode of "Fringe".
It's hard to feel normal, knowing that Mom might be gone, maybe even as I'm packing, or as I'm trying to drive home to see her.
That the day worked itself out, in spite of me not really being on my game mentally today.
I got up a little early for the farrier. Wonder and Dandy both did very well standing for her today, but Ursula seemed kind of distressed, and we decided to try again another day. Her feet weren't too long, so we'll get back to it in another week or two.
She has a shoulder with an old injury, and I am fairly sure it's arthritic. She favors that leg a lot, though it's better some days, worse on others. Today she was shaking a bit, just looking at the farrier, and we both felt like if she was that worried, we'd leave it.
Yet, I went and picked up her feet later, and she was fine. I have no idea why she reacted that way to the farrier.
After that, since I had already fed the inside animals, and got the farrier appointment done, I tried to sleep some more, which didn't work that well.
I woke to a knock on the door, and a voice, and it was our friend from the city here to drop off her bunny. OF COURSE IT WAS HER. We planned this almost two months ago, and that's the problem. It was so long ago that it completely was off my radar. I know I had asked her to remind me before she came out, but there you go.
Well, I felt terrible for forgetting, because if I had been gone, our friend would be stuck for what to do with her bunny. She was on her way straight to the airport afterwards, to visit a cousin in Quebec.
Well, anyhow, we have Bun again for the next ten days. It will mostly be my Sweetie looking after him.
I talked with Sister E today, and things are not looking good for Mom at all. She's not taking in fluids, and since we've gotten to this point with her, they're not putting her on IV fluids either. Sister E was there visiting with her, and other family is with Mom know round the clock.
So I'm planning to leave tomorrow, and if Mom is still alive, I'm thinking of going to the town where she is in the hospital, and getting a room there for a night or two first.
I'm feeling very much at loose ends, trying to pack for a week away, trying to plan for getting everything organized to make things easy for my husband, trying to figure out what to bring to give to people (we all do this, we find things or make things that we give away at our annual family gathering. It's a bit like a swap meet sometimes).
I was a bit unsure of what to wear for my Aunt's memorial service. I have an outfit, but I'm thinking it might be too dressy. I'm wondering if half the people there will just be wearing jeans and a nice shirt. I don't want to look out of place. It's outside partly, and it might be cold, too. OR it could be 25 C.
Part of me thinks a person should at least wear nice pants to a service, and not just jeans, but if I'm the only one....?
I pulled out a pair of shoes to see if they looked right, and they were kind of cracking. They were not real leather, and I confess I've never worn them, but they are probably close to 20 years old. They looked perfect, but they're OLD. So, there you go.
I had a pair of shoes (I wore those ones a lot) have the rubbery heel disintegrate a while ago, a new pair of boots I bought have the sole crumble the first time I went to wear them (I was able to return them), and now a stored pair of shoes are crumbling. It feels like the Universe is saying something to me (likely telling me to wear the nice things I have stored).
I chose more pottery to give away. I felt okay doing that. I sometimes feel like hanging onto it, as it's all beautiful to me, but I am trying to get to where most of it becomes a gift to someone, so that it is used and appreciated, not sitting in a box.
My Sweetie and I put most of the things I am taking into the car. He got the clip on the one walker fixed, so I can give that to someone. I am trying to leave some kind of space in the back for me to lie down and nap, because I generally do that at some point, or I need to when I get to my destination because now my sleep schedule is a mess.
When the back seats are laid down, the back of the car has a fair amount of room.
So, the whole day felt "messy", and I did not feel on top of things or like I was in my daily groove.
I did some laundry so I could take some of the things that needed washing. I packed some clothes, I packed the canned/dry foods I want to take.
We gave everyone some time in the pastures, and walked around with Roxy. We ate, and watched an episode of "Fringe".
It's hard to feel normal, knowing that Mom might be gone, maybe even as I'm packing, or as I'm trying to drive home to see her.
no subject
Date: 2025-05-20 01:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-05-20 04:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-05-21 08:26 pm (UTC)I don't know when and if you'll get this, but I hope that you're able to wear something you're comfortable with for your Aunt's Memorial. My family background makes me stand out in a crowd here, so I've come to kind of just choose to wear whatever I want most of the time. And especially when it's something very emotional like that, I find myself trying to pick something that I feel would honor that person or is it a way of holding a dear memory with them close one more time. I never wore traditional cultural outfits of my dad's family home unless it was for rare special occasion or going out to eat at a specific restaurant where those clothes fit the style, but for his funeral I picked out his favorite one on me, and one that I had really liked to. I don't think I've worn it since and I'm not sure if I ever will. But I'll let it say I hope that you find whatever it is that makes you feel comfortable for that day. No one should make you feel dressed up or dressed down that's such an occasion, and I hope you don't feel that way.
"Messy" days as you put it, are perfectly enough description of them, and everything just feels disarrayed. On that note I'm heading back to bed after receiving groceries. I'll be thinking of you as I know that's a very long trip free to make, and some of how you said it makes you feel in the past. I know this one is a different trip for many reasons, and again I just send a big warm hug and lots of love.
no subject
Date: 2025-05-27 03:42 am (UTC)