Tuesday, September 16
Sep. 16th, 2025 10:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gottawonderToday I am grateful for:
Getting good sleep. I would LOVE to find a way for the animals to not spend half the morning yelling at me to get up and feed them. I swear they start about four hours before I get up.
I sometimes think I should just stop talking to Trainwreck. I know I've said this before.
Lately she's been MUCH better to talk to, to the point where I was wondering if I should stop calling her Trainwreck. She's been pretty reasonable, and even cares about what I'm doing with my life, whereas when she was drunk all the time she could care less about my life.
Today, I won't say it was her TRYING to mess with my mind, but I was triggered.
A man she lived with about 30 years ago (they have a son together) is dying. Their son is the Power of Attorney, and the Executor of the estate, and so on. He is now making some end of life type decisions, based on everything he worked out with his father recently.
This man is close to the end, he's having seizures and has cancer, and isn't conscious much. No matter what happens, he's not "getting better" at this point. It's palliative care going forward.
My sister today says that her son is just tying up a few loose ends, and then apparently the doctor is supposed to give this man a "shot" that will stop his heart, effectively just "putting him down" like an animal.
I was taken aback by this, because I'm thinking...that's not legal, strictly speaking.
In Canada, assisted dying isn't a fast process, it is something typically reserved for people with diseases like ALS, and it ironically takes time to GET assisted death. It has to go through channels.
You don't just have a quick word with the doc and get your Dad put down.
So I don't know what my sister is talking about. She could be just outright lying to me, or she misunderstands what is happening.
My thoughts are that he has a DNR and the son has told the doctors that it should go into effect now? That the next time he has a seizure just to allow things to take their course and not try to save him?
I tried to feel this out with Trainwreck, and asked if she meant they were taking him off of some kind of medication or life support or something, and she says "nope, they're giving him a shot to stop his heart".
So, I don't personally CARE, if these are his wishes, and everyone knows about it. I don't. It's his choice. I get that he's not getting better, and he's likely in a ton of pain.
THAT SAID, if my sister goes around telling everyone that this doctor is "putting people to sleep with a needle", that doctor and her son could face charges. That shit isn't legal.
OR, the process of getting medically assisted death has radically changed and somehow this man was able to get through all of the process in a matter of weeks. That could be possible, but then why wouldn't my sister just SAY that? She's making it sound like this is all stealth stuff that the doctor is doing on the down low.
So I called Sister S, more or less just to vent, and she made me feel better by just sitting with me while I vented, and let me know I wasn't crazy, and reminded me that Trainwreck always has been, and always will be, a drama addict who loves to stir up shit and doesn't care who she hurts.
I mean, if this man is going to access medically assisted death, and has gone through all the proper channels, then there IS no drama, is there? Then it is nothing more than a patient's wishes being honored in order to save himself from suffering, and to make things easier for his family.
So, I talked to trainwreck hoping to have a normal conversation because SHE texted ME to call so she could wish me a happy birthday.
Thanks, I'll cherish it forever.
After all that, I went to see River. That poor horse always has to have me come work with him after some bullshit with my family.
He's very therapeutic.
We mainly did low key, relaxed work today with lots of breaks and petting. I felt like he did more than enough on Sunday, and we're not preparing for anything, so why not have a day about just enjoying being outside on a gorgeous September evening?
That's all I REALLY wanted from today. Just to be outside with my animals.
We felt really connected and in tune today, and that's just the best feeling you can have.
R and L wished me a happy birthday too, which is great.
I came home and my Sweetie was pretty much just going to bed, which sucked a bit for me. I feel like I've barely seen him this past week.
Getting good sleep. I would LOVE to find a way for the animals to not spend half the morning yelling at me to get up and feed them. I swear they start about four hours before I get up.
I sometimes think I should just stop talking to Trainwreck. I know I've said this before.
Lately she's been MUCH better to talk to, to the point where I was wondering if I should stop calling her Trainwreck. She's been pretty reasonable, and even cares about what I'm doing with my life, whereas when she was drunk all the time she could care less about my life.
Today, I won't say it was her TRYING to mess with my mind, but I was triggered.
A man she lived with about 30 years ago (they have a son together) is dying. Their son is the Power of Attorney, and the Executor of the estate, and so on. He is now making some end of life type decisions, based on everything he worked out with his father recently.
This man is close to the end, he's having seizures and has cancer, and isn't conscious much. No matter what happens, he's not "getting better" at this point. It's palliative care going forward.
My sister today says that her son is just tying up a few loose ends, and then apparently the doctor is supposed to give this man a "shot" that will stop his heart, effectively just "putting him down" like an animal.
I was taken aback by this, because I'm thinking...that's not legal, strictly speaking.
In Canada, assisted dying isn't a fast process, it is something typically reserved for people with diseases like ALS, and it ironically takes time to GET assisted death. It has to go through channels.
You don't just have a quick word with the doc and get your Dad put down.
So I don't know what my sister is talking about. She could be just outright lying to me, or she misunderstands what is happening.
My thoughts are that he has a DNR and the son has told the doctors that it should go into effect now? That the next time he has a seizure just to allow things to take their course and not try to save him?
I tried to feel this out with Trainwreck, and asked if she meant they were taking him off of some kind of medication or life support or something, and she says "nope, they're giving him a shot to stop his heart".
So, I don't personally CARE, if these are his wishes, and everyone knows about it. I don't. It's his choice. I get that he's not getting better, and he's likely in a ton of pain.
THAT SAID, if my sister goes around telling everyone that this doctor is "putting people to sleep with a needle", that doctor and her son could face charges. That shit isn't legal.
OR, the process of getting medically assisted death has radically changed and somehow this man was able to get through all of the process in a matter of weeks. That could be possible, but then why wouldn't my sister just SAY that? She's making it sound like this is all stealth stuff that the doctor is doing on the down low.
So I called Sister S, more or less just to vent, and she made me feel better by just sitting with me while I vented, and let me know I wasn't crazy, and reminded me that Trainwreck always has been, and always will be, a drama addict who loves to stir up shit and doesn't care who she hurts.
I mean, if this man is going to access medically assisted death, and has gone through all the proper channels, then there IS no drama, is there? Then it is nothing more than a patient's wishes being honored in order to save himself from suffering, and to make things easier for his family.
So, I talked to trainwreck hoping to have a normal conversation because SHE texted ME to call so she could wish me a happy birthday.
Thanks, I'll cherish it forever.
After all that, I went to see River. That poor horse always has to have me come work with him after some bullshit with my family.
He's very therapeutic.
We mainly did low key, relaxed work today with lots of breaks and petting. I felt like he did more than enough on Sunday, and we're not preparing for anything, so why not have a day about just enjoying being outside on a gorgeous September evening?
That's all I REALLY wanted from today. Just to be outside with my animals.
We felt really connected and in tune today, and that's just the best feeling you can have.
R and L wished me a happy birthday too, which is great.
I came home and my Sweetie was pretty much just going to bed, which sucked a bit for me. I feel like I've barely seen him this past week.
