Tired.

[gottawonder]

Now Trainwreck is mad at me for talking to other members of our family about what she said about having a doctor just "give him a shot to stop his heart".

Well, it's still not clear to me whether or not her son (the power of attorney) is going through the legal process of MAID, or if this is an off the books action.

From what I understand, MAID generally required 90 days at the very least, because they want the patient to have time to think about their decision, and to speak to more than one medical professional about their options.

This man has been in the hospital for about three weeks, and I don't know if for the entire time he was already beginning the process for MAID, or what. Up until very recently, he was receiving Chemo and other medication.

Only a month ago, he was fine, and was in the office having a lump removed from his neck, which is where this started.

From a moral perspective, I am FINE with a person choosing to end things when it looks like they're in for nothing but pain and suffering, and death is assured anyhow. NO PROBLEM.

My only concern here, is that if this is not a strictly legal action, that someone could get into trouble for it.

For one, if it's NOT LEGAL, then my sister shouldn't be telling me this. No, she's not making this decision, her son and his father are making this decision. She's just a supportive person.

If they have made a handshake deal with the doctor, then don't tell me. I would rather have plausible deniability. Tell me he had another seizure. Tell me he had a fatal stroke. Whatever. I don't care.

If it IS legal, and they were able to get MAID, then just say that, and there's no need for secrecy or cloak and dagger insinuations. Just put it right out there, because it's all been done correctly and it's his choice to do so.

Instead, she's making it sound shady, like they're "bucking the system to do the right thing", which again, good for all of them. I don't care.

Then don't tell me. I don't want to know.

So she's mad at me for "making a big deal out of this", and I'm tired because I'm not the one who started this.

I'm not "making a big deal out of this". I asked Sister E to talk to Trainwreck to find out if they are doing this legally or not, and if not, to tell her to BE QUIET about it so no one goes to jail. I thought Trainwreck would respect Sister E's opinion more than my own, because Sister E worked in the medical system for over 25 years.

So I'm tired.

My husband, who is wise, says "just let Trainwreck be upset with you. She does this to herself, and then wonders why people are tired of dealing with her".

I agree. I also acknowledge that other people besides myself, are probably better at regulating their emotions and reactions to bait like this, and wouldn't have risen to it. It's been a huge issue for me my whole life, and it goes back all the way to early childhood where my brother baited me constantly, enjoying my outrage and crying whenever I just sat there helplessly while he threatened to damage something I cared about, or teased me and called me names, or just hurt me some other way. A constant threat all the time.

I was like a dog on a chain, with my brother taunting me endlessly.

Thus, I can't deal with people dangling something like "yeah, we're just going to go give him a shot, it's not legal, or it might be, you won't know because I'm not going to tell you".

I'm so tired.

Comments

[ratunderpaper]

You have my sincere sympathies for the things done to you as a child, and for how the TW is treating you now.

[gottawonder]

Thank you. My main concern was simply legality, and whether or not she should be telling anyone about her son and his father's plans.

Now it's blown up into something more, that I betrayed her trust by telling other sisters, or something.

I don't know.

I just have a tough time believing that they could push MAID through in a week and have it be legal.