Thursday, January 8
Jan. 9th, 2026 12:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gottawonderToday I am grateful for:
Getting up much earlier than usual in order to get to town for my dental appointment.
In spite of my efforts, I still struggled to get there early. I was on time, but not by much.
I did chores, the now daily "pee cleaning" of dog diapers, the dog's butt, and anything she leaked on in the night since these diapers seem to do very little to keep her from leaking if she lies down.
Then Trainwreck called. Honestly, I'm thinking that these days she's bored with things being okay, and is just stirring up drama to give herself a buzz.
Sometimes she stirs up shit with her son, telling him he needs to leave his wife and all of their kids, or fight to have all of the kids taken away from her. Her son's issues go much deeper than that, many of them as a result of being her son. What he needs is therapy.
Sometimes I know that she stirs up shit with other people in our family about me. Yes, I have expressed displeasure at the pace of our house progress. I know I have. Sometimes it really bothers me. It was really bad about two years ago again, because that winter my husband hit some kind of plateau and barely did anything on the house at all for an entire winter.
That said, I know that Trainwreck went around telling everyone else in our family that she thought I was going to divorce my husband. When I talked to others, they were asking me what I would do for money and so on, to the point of asking me point blank if I had enough to leave him. I got pretty angry at everyone for making assumptions, and told them so.
So now she's at it again. I mentioned that this year I hope that we can get to the front of the house, where we are still using a very unattractive set of wooden stairs. I have tried painting them, but the paint just flakes off of the ancient plywood. There's also an unattractive old deck, and everything under it is unfinished and gets weeds in it.
So, since we're catching up on a lot of other outside things, I wondered to her if this might finally be the year that we do something nicer to replace those stairs and the ugly deck.
SHE turns it into "you shouldn't have to live that way" and "just hire someone on your own" (we currently, finally have someone working with us that my husband likes), and THEN she's saying I should hire her son.
Her son isn't a good carpenter. He is likely OKAY if he works under constant supervision, being told exactly what to do. He also lives eight hours away from us. If he did come work for us, he would have to live here, we would have him in our house, and have to feed him and so on. Then, all of his life's drama with his wife and Trainwreck would be in our house.
No, I don't want to hire my nephew.
So that was all just stupid. She even demanded to see pictures of everything we've been working on because according to her I NEVER send her progress pictures. I have sent her many pictures of our house and progress, but she doesn't know how to find them as a file, and they get lost in our texts. So I sent her some.
By then I was needing to leave in order to be on time.
I was pretty emotionally exhausted, and oddly looking forward to some time in the dentist's chair where I didn't have to deal with anyone's bullshit for just an hour or so.
Every day lately has been some narcissist trying to drag me into their world.
I got my teeth cleaned, and the hygienist made a bit of deal out of how long it's been. I get it, but from MY perspective, they used to clean my teeth when I came in for a check up, without really even asking. It was just part of the examination. The last couple of times, no one said anything, and I didn't know why. I finally made a point of asking for teeth cleaning this last time, and then they sounded surprised that I would want one.
After the cleaning, I got the filling done on the cavity in my lower right wisdom tooth. It was pretty brutal. I had my jaw jacked open, they had a giant fistful of cotton pushed into my cheek to give them room to work, and so on. Physically grueling and uncomfortable. At one point I had to stop them and sit up and breathe, because my soft palate was sort of being pushed closed or something. Maybe it only felt like it from all the freezing?
When it was all done, the dentist and hygienist sort of praised my stoicism, saying not many people could have tolerated that amount of discomfort. Yay me.
Well, both of those wisdom teeth needed fillings recently, and I think they've used up their last life. If anything else happens to them, they will likely just have to be pulled.
Then I treated myself to some shopping. I went to Micheal's to see if they had any clip on earring backs, and they did. I don't have pierced ears, so I thought I might try to make myself some earrings (though I generally hate wearing clip-ons. I might try some just for a few fancy outfits).
Then I went to Winner's and found some "Juliette has a Gun" perfume in Ex Vetiver, and though it starts kind of bitter, I like how it matures. It was just the smaller size, so a good size for trying out to see if I like it.
I also found a very nicely made skirt in a bright orange red. That's usually not a color I would pick, but the quality of the item called to me. I think it will work just fine since I can wear a shirt in a solid color next to my face (orange red isn't a great color for me).
Then I headed home. I was absolutely spent by then.
My Sweetie had quinoa ready, so I only had to make veggies. He headed to bed as soon as he could, though we spent some time talking first. I felt better about things after some hugs.
Getting up much earlier than usual in order to get to town for my dental appointment.
In spite of my efforts, I still struggled to get there early. I was on time, but not by much.
I did chores, the now daily "pee cleaning" of dog diapers, the dog's butt, and anything she leaked on in the night since these diapers seem to do very little to keep her from leaking if she lies down.
Then Trainwreck called. Honestly, I'm thinking that these days she's bored with things being okay, and is just stirring up drama to give herself a buzz.
Sometimes she stirs up shit with her son, telling him he needs to leave his wife and all of their kids, or fight to have all of the kids taken away from her. Her son's issues go much deeper than that, many of them as a result of being her son. What he needs is therapy.
Sometimes I know that she stirs up shit with other people in our family about me. Yes, I have expressed displeasure at the pace of our house progress. I know I have. Sometimes it really bothers me. It was really bad about two years ago again, because that winter my husband hit some kind of plateau and barely did anything on the house at all for an entire winter.
That said, I know that Trainwreck went around telling everyone else in our family that she thought I was going to divorce my husband. When I talked to others, they were asking me what I would do for money and so on, to the point of asking me point blank if I had enough to leave him. I got pretty angry at everyone for making assumptions, and told them so.
So now she's at it again. I mentioned that this year I hope that we can get to the front of the house, where we are still using a very unattractive set of wooden stairs. I have tried painting them, but the paint just flakes off of the ancient plywood. There's also an unattractive old deck, and everything under it is unfinished and gets weeds in it.
So, since we're catching up on a lot of other outside things, I wondered to her if this might finally be the year that we do something nicer to replace those stairs and the ugly deck.
SHE turns it into "you shouldn't have to live that way" and "just hire someone on your own" (we currently, finally have someone working with us that my husband likes), and THEN she's saying I should hire her son.
Her son isn't a good carpenter. He is likely OKAY if he works under constant supervision, being told exactly what to do. He also lives eight hours away from us. If he did come work for us, he would have to live here, we would have him in our house, and have to feed him and so on. Then, all of his life's drama with his wife and Trainwreck would be in our house.
No, I don't want to hire my nephew.
So that was all just stupid. She even demanded to see pictures of everything we've been working on because according to her I NEVER send her progress pictures. I have sent her many pictures of our house and progress, but she doesn't know how to find them as a file, and they get lost in our texts. So I sent her some.
By then I was needing to leave in order to be on time.
I was pretty emotionally exhausted, and oddly looking forward to some time in the dentist's chair where I didn't have to deal with anyone's bullshit for just an hour or so.
Every day lately has been some narcissist trying to drag me into their world.
I got my teeth cleaned, and the hygienist made a bit of deal out of how long it's been. I get it, but from MY perspective, they used to clean my teeth when I came in for a check up, without really even asking. It was just part of the examination. The last couple of times, no one said anything, and I didn't know why. I finally made a point of asking for teeth cleaning this last time, and then they sounded surprised that I would want one.
After the cleaning, I got the filling done on the cavity in my lower right wisdom tooth. It was pretty brutal. I had my jaw jacked open, they had a giant fistful of cotton pushed into my cheek to give them room to work, and so on. Physically grueling and uncomfortable. At one point I had to stop them and sit up and breathe, because my soft palate was sort of being pushed closed or something. Maybe it only felt like it from all the freezing?
When it was all done, the dentist and hygienist sort of praised my stoicism, saying not many people could have tolerated that amount of discomfort. Yay me.
Well, both of those wisdom teeth needed fillings recently, and I think they've used up their last life. If anything else happens to them, they will likely just have to be pulled.
Then I treated myself to some shopping. I went to Micheal's to see if they had any clip on earring backs, and they did. I don't have pierced ears, so I thought I might try to make myself some earrings (though I generally hate wearing clip-ons. I might try some just for a few fancy outfits).
Then I went to Winner's and found some "Juliette has a Gun" perfume in Ex Vetiver, and though it starts kind of bitter, I like how it matures. It was just the smaller size, so a good size for trying out to see if I like it.
I also found a very nicely made skirt in a bright orange red. That's usually not a color I would pick, but the quality of the item called to me. I think it will work just fine since I can wear a shirt in a solid color next to my face (orange red isn't a great color for me).
Then I headed home. I was absolutely spent by then.
My Sweetie had quinoa ready, so I only had to make veggies. He headed to bed as soon as he could, though we spent some time talking first. I felt better about things after some hugs.
no subject
Date: 2026-01-10 04:33 am (UTC)I'm sorry that TW is not treating you respectfully. Behaviour like that makes one rethink trusting people with confidential or honest information.
no subject
Date: 2026-01-10 09:02 am (UTC)I brush. I floss. I now water pik. I don't eat much sugar. I still get cavities.
You mentioned the biofilm before. No, they don't.
As for TW, yes, it bothered me.
Part of it IS my fault, as on days where I am frustrated, I vent. I know that I have been VERY FRUSTRATED a lot over the years, and probably anyone would think on those days that I am on the brink of leaving.
I won't say that I haven't considered it, except I know that unless I was going to live life on my own, a new partner likely isn't going to be free of issues either. It generally makes more sense to work through things than to leave.
Living alone sucks too.
We also have lots of good things in our lives, and lots of time well spent in each other's company. TW doesn't seem to pay attention to that, though I do talk about doing nice things together.
TW was over reacting for sure, but I have to accept responsibility for my own venting of huge frustrations before, that sort of set the stage for anything else I might say.
All things considered though, TW loves drama, and anytime anyone in our family seems to be having a rough time with their partner, she just leaps right out with "they should leave that so and so, and good riddance".
This IS a woman after all, who has had....dozens or more? Relationships of varying duration that could be called "a relationship" that all ended probably by her being dumped, or her leaving because the actual physical abuse got too bad.
She doesn't HAVE good relationships. So she assumes that no one else has good relationships either, or that people CAN have some rough stretches but find a way to work through them or just learn to live with things.
She never worked through issues successfully, things just got bad and things ended.
It really does make it hard to share personal things with her, or honest feelings. I already know that anything you say to her will be repeated, often with embellishments, to everyone else she talks to.
It's the embellishments and her own twists that bother me.
As I've said, she loves drama, so she sometimes gets bored or something and goes on and on about other people's issues as if their lives were all just irredeemable.
no subject
Date: 2026-01-10 09:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2026-01-10 09:12 am (UTC)You know how oddly good it feels when you get going about something with a few others, and you're all more or less in agreement about hating something together.
That's what half of the drama surrounding S at the pottery studio is about. I've noticed that my friend D often stirs things up and drags me into it, just so she can have some heated talk about a "common enemy". I've decided I have to start shutting that down, as half the time whatever S was "up to" wasn't as sinister as was painted.
So, given that TW is a classic addict, it's not surprising that she's addicted to gossip and drama too.
no subject
Date: 2026-01-10 09:16 am (UTC)- says me, yours sincerely, Ms. Freud.
no subject
Date: 2026-01-11 12:56 am (UTC)I've noticed that TW likes to point out the failures of others, myself included and will sometimes say how much that person's failures are "just like her" or they are "no better than she is".
It's probably easier to drag people down to a lower level than it is to work on yourself to live in a better way.
I understand the shame, I've had my share. Sometimes I do see the ways that other people have had similar problems, and felt some relief, that I'm not alone.
I've also felt angry and "not good enough" (still do sometimes) around people who have more talent, or more money, or whatever. You wonder what their secret is, or what luck of the draw gave them nice teeth or the ability to keep a nice home.
I don't feel like breaking up people's marriages over my own insecurity, but I guess that's how she expresses her fears of inadequacy.
If I can't do much to make her feel better about herself, it's important at least to see that this "advice" of hers is flawed, and coming from a place of fear and smallness, not from any real desire to improve my lot in life.