Wednesday, May 6

[gottawonder]

Today I am grateful for:

Decent sleep.

Getting some small but nagging things done. I repaired a cuff on a fleece jacket that I wear every cooler day to do chores and go to the barn as well as the trim on a fleece blanket that was separating. I also repaired a seam in a denim grocery bag that had come apart.

Then I had a quick bath.

Last week when I talked with Sister E, she was upset about her husband whose behavior was getting out of hand and starting to feel very unfair to her, mostly about his lack of awareness of things like what they owed for taxes or how much money he was spending.

At that time, we had started to explore some possible solutions, then ran out of time.

So we were supposed to circle back and connect again. Today I called her, and she said she was at the grocery store but would call me.

She did call back, and we were talking, but about just this and that, and I heard background noise, and it turns out she was just back at the grocery store.

I was kind of annoyed. I don't know if she ever just focuses on our conversation; she's usually trying to do errands or believe it or not, she's at Bingo or something and takes my call and tries to talk. Sort of.

She's very strange.

Anyhow, she felt FINE this week, and didn't feel like talking about her husband and how to improve anything. Okay, that's up to her.

She did feel the need though, to pass on a message to me from TW, even as she spoke the words "I know you don't want me doing this...".

Apparently TW gave me a horse book at some point and now wants it back. She GAVE me a horse book, but now that I'm not speaking with her, she wants it back.

She wants me to bring it to our upcoming family gathering.

So, all this really is, is her finding excuses to send messages to me, and whether or not I get the book to her, she's won by finding a way to cross my boundary.

So, I chewed Sister E out a bit for doing that. I have already explained to her A LOT that I don't want to have contact with TW, and Sister E just thinks I mean I don't want to have phone calls with her, but "this isn't about her depression, and I don't have the same problems you have with her, maybe this is just your perception of her".

So, even though I tried to point out that this thing with some stupid book is a form of crossing a set boundary and a form of manipulation, Sister E doesn't see that. She thinks "TW just needs to get ahold of you, maybe you should text her and find out what she wants".

Maybe she's just not that smart.

I am upset though, that Sister E isn't getting it, and she's just not understanding what I even mean by "no contact", and now I'm wondering if I will have to just stop talking to her as well.

Isn't this fantastic?

Now I am really wondering how to deal with our family gathering. I know TW will be there, and not long ago I wasn't really worrying about talking to her, just let it all slide for the sake of seeing other family.

Now I'm not so sure. If I bring her this book, she will just start asking for other things, say...something she thought Mom wanted her to have, or copies of family pictures, or whatever. Just like how when people break up, they keep finding excuses to talk to their ex, hoping that they can fix things.

You know..."I left some clothes at your place", or "I needed to get Sarah's phone number from you", or "I miss your cat".

I know that TW's partner of several years was trying to get her out of his life about a year before he was diagnosed with cancer. She had a MOUNTAIN of stuff at their house, and she of course would never be done going back for her crap.

She never left him alone, and that whole crap of "reconciliation" when he was dying was likely him just being too tired to fight her off. She makes it sound like love just overcame everything, but I think he was just tired and was like "fuck it, I'll at least die my way out of this bullshit".

So there you go. My afternoon.

Then I went to the barn, and River and I had our lesson.

River was pretty muddy, but he seems to like mud.

We had a good lesson, though his energy wasn't great. He really tried for me, and if you don't ask for a ton of work, he does what he can.

We worked on a pattern that will be in the live summer show this year, and tossed around some ideas for a "fun barrel pattern".

Then we did another run through of the freestyle from beginning to end, and it was so much smoother and just very good with the turns towards and away from the garrocha, and coming together with the dramatic points in the music.

I was very happy with it.

On a sad note, R's little orange kitty, who was only about 8 months old, had to be put down this morning.

This is the little cat that seemed to have one infection after another, and yesterday wasn't eating much.

Turns out little Darnell was in liver failure, and the vet said there was nothing that could be done.

He was a little frail right from the beginning when they got the two kittens, and just never seemed to thrive.

Poor little guy.

R said it had been a tough day for her family, and of course they still had to do chores and dog grooming and lessons, and all day people were asking, so she had to go through it again and again. And again with me, I guess.

I did get to see a very adorable little mini mare that belongs to another client family who trailered in their horses for lessons today.

Then I went home, and my Sweetie had supper ready.

We ate and talked. My Sweetie says that a friend of ours, the man he biked the MS ride with for several years, has some kind of ongoing persistent cough that they are starting to look into a little more seriously, and that his Dad finally passed his kidney stone.

Quite a day.

Comments

[ratunderpaper]

I am sorry to hear about the little cat.

Here's an idea you might want to consider when talking to that E sister: Thank you for your information. I will do my best to consider it." Then, you forget it and split. It's kind of yellow-rocking people who mess with your boundaries.