Also fun with mockery.

[gottawonder]

Jeff and Sandy Notsomanybucks moved to sunny Beverly Hills Florida just this year, after Jeff's job in a manufacturing outlet in the Upper Peninsula was recently made redundant. Jeff seemed overly modest about his new job as "Lead Tight End Packer" in a local meat processing facility.

Jeff and Sandy's two children, whose names cannot be printed for legal reasons, will be living with their grandparents until it is known whether or not there is black mold in the bed rooms intended for them in Florida.

They were delighted to be able to find a truly heritage home in Sandy Oaks, one of the few homes that did not have wheels.

Sandy was delighted to discover that it had not only a working refrigerator, but a bathroom that would soon be functional once the water was turned on again and the snake removed from behind the commode. The full impact of the Harvest Gold kitchen appliances could only be be appreciated once the tubes in the light fixture were replaced, and the surfaces were sterilized with bleach.

Jeff, being a handy and ambitious home owner, was able to transform the living room into a home theatre with nothing more than lawn chairs and speakers from a '67 Dodge.

Some of the shag carpeting in the home could be traced back to it's original manufacture in the heyday of the Spanish Revival Era of 1970. Peeling off several layers of MacTac in the kitchen cupboards reveals the original MacTac in funky sunflower motifs.

Jeff and Sandy invested heavily in pine scented car air fresheners for their new home, until the source of "that ass smell" can be tracked down.

Several mattresses and couches were included in the sale of this local landmark home, some indoors, some outdoors, though the couple is considering replacing some of them once Jeff gets his first paycheck. In the meantime, a quick search of the couches yielded an overlooked bottle of prescription medication that might cover the cost of most of the renovations.

There are several additions to this home that began as decks, that later got a roof, then were screened in, then got tin sides, and at that point were considered nice enough to be rental property to a family of albinos that were born without sweat glands who have now been living there for the last decade and are now permanent residents. Jeff and Sandy see no reason to change this agreement, and in fact didn't realize that this addition was part of their property until after moving in.

Though this addition is not what you would call "up to code", and not strictly built with things like permits, most of that is not an issue since the albino family does not recieve mail at this property, nor do they pay taxes, and do not claim rent as such.

Once there is new tin foil installed in the windows facing South and fresh fly tape in the dining area, the renovations in this heritage home will be complete, remaining true and authentic to the architecture of the region.