Monday, August 1

Today I am grateful for:

Feeling okay today mood-wise. I don't know if it is just hormones, or if it is truly about external issues, but my moods can get so overwhelming. Today (and for a few days) I have just felt....nice. Not up, not down, not angry or frustrated or tired. Just good.

Why can't I feel like that most days, and save the sturm and drang for when it is truly necessary?

I felt even through out the day, okay with little annoyances, no weird hovering anxiety or sense of mortal dread, just doing my thing and being present. It was nice.

It was broody and stormy again. Later in the day we had a good storm again, though not nearly as dramatic as the one a few days ago. More rain.

My Sweetie left to visit his family. They don't live that far from where all of mine are.

He had a good, uneventful trip (got there in the wee hours).

Today after he left, I went to town.

I found a bluetooth speaker. I have been wanting one to take to the barn. I'm not sure if I'll use it much in the summer because there are always people around, but many of these people don't come in the winter, and often I am in the arena alone. Music might be nice.

I will also use it in different parts of the house.

Then I got groceries, and it wasn't one of my huge hauls, just average. I am always grateful to be able to get food.

I came home, and because it was storming, I just went in and had a little nap with the kitties.

I did manage to get everyone out in their pastures for a while, but no point in mowing or pulling weeds.

Then I did some painting.

I learned that that the US military controls 22.4% of all the land in O'ahu, Hawaii (85,718 acres out of 382,148 acres). I knew there was a lot of air and marine activity there, but I didn't know it was THAT much!

https://www.culturalsurvival.org/publications/cultural-survival-quarterly/nation-under-gun-militarism-and-resistance-hawaii

Tuesday, August 2

Today I am grateful for:

My sweet kitties, making waking up so nice. All of our cats are pretty snuggly.

My Sweetie seems to be having a good time with his parents at their cabin at the lake. They are trying to sell it this year, as it is getting to be too much for them to drive there and do maintenance. I know he loves that place, and it was a nicer place to visit his parents than staying at their condo in the city. More room to walk and sit outside around a fire together.

Funny that his sister and her husband never seem to bother going there. They live in the same city as his parents. You'd think they would like to take the kids out there, or send them there to be with their grand-parents.

I spoke with Trainwreck sister, and she is getting sad about spending another winter in her crappy trailer.

I try not to get fooled by her helplessness though. I know that she is only there because she can't/won't give up her hoard. Her grown sons have all said that whenever she is ready, they will come and throw it all out.

One of her sons said she could come live with him, and help her find a place to live in that area.

A lady who owns a second hand shop lives close to her, and is willing to come and buy anything of resale value that my sister would part with. My sister doesn't want her to come look, because she is embarrassed (like this woman has never seen a hoard, as a seller of used furniture and collectibles?).

Trainwreck was saying that there is another resident where our Mom lives, that walks into Mom's private room all the time, and Mom has to tell her to leave. Recently this other resident has started walking into Mom's room, and giving her a smack on the shoulders and it took the other aides removing her to get her out of Mom's room.

My family has tried talking with the staff, but they can't do much. So, my family is putting in a formal complaint. It is possible that this resident needs to be in a different facility, if she is getting physical.

Here's the other thing, my Mom could fall if this woman hits her hard enough and throws her off balance. OR, my Mom could haul off and deck this woman. Mom might have issues with walking, but she has strong arms.

I can't do much from here.

Sigh.

THEN I talked to my Sister S, who is one of the two POA for Mom, about the issue.

Then Sister S tells me she has Cancer in one of her kidneys, and is scheduled to have the whole kidney removed in about two weeks. She has been having tests and such for about seven months, and wasn't ready to say anything, but getting the date for the surgery made her feel like she should say something.

As far as the doctors know, the Cancer is only in the kidney, and there is a good chance that this will get it all.

After all that, I wanted to talk about me a tiny bit, because our calls are often so grim, and all we talk about is awful things, and hardly anyone in our family ever asks me what I am doing besides when I feel frustrated about the house.

So I told her about what I am doing with River (she hardly knows anything about my riding, or the lessons about Liberty that I have been doing).

I explained the idea behind Liberty, how it is about learning to communicate without a halter or bridle, use your body more, and build a relationship so that the horse will come with you without a halter and do stuff.

She replied "well, nice if it ever happens".

I replied "It IS happening. Right now it is happening. We are doing obstacles now without a halter. I am showing a bit at Liberty".

So, I posted my most recent video on our family page on Facebook. Maybe I just don't do enough to show people what it is we do. I feel weird about it sometimes, like others might think I am bragging.

Then I went to see River, and that was nice. He was pretty sleepy. We did our ground work, and he did well. Still need to work on him staying with me to do small circles/turns. He goes too wide.

Then I rode with just the neck rope, and he did well at the figure eight, halts, and backing. I experimentally got him to do one nice side pass step, and stopped there.

I came home and let everyone out for a while. Then I pulled some weeds out of a spot that I need to mulch near the house.

I learned that Remora or the Sucker Fish were used in the Indian ocean to catch turtles. A rope was tied to the remora's tail and the fish was dropped into the water when a turtle is sighted. The remora would then swim towards the turtle to attach itself to it, the fisherman would then pull them both out.

I know that remoras also cling onto sharks, but I guess if it's a turtle going by, that is where they will head.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Remora#:~:text=10%E2%88%928%20M.-,Use%20for%20fishing,and%20turtle%20are%20hauled%20in.