Friday, May 6

[gottawonder]

Today I am grateful for:

Decent weather.

The optometrist office called back to let me know that they are going to get some contacts for me to try.

R asked if I would change my ride time to tomorrow, to give others use of the barn to wash horses etc. for the show they are going to tomorrow.

I will be blunt, today was an angry day for me. A few days ago, my Sweetie said he had symptoms of Covid, and I decided that he should stay at his work apartment to isolate instead of coming home this set of days off. He was supposed to be home Thursday night, but I feel like it is not worth getting sick to have him home for now.

So, that means not spending any time with my husband for a whole month, and nothing is happening at all on the house. Nothing. Since he was last able to do a bit two weeks ago, and will not be home for another two weeks, that means an entire month with nothing happening, right smack at the prime time of the year to get work done.

I know it isn't his fault, but we don't even have things at the right stage, according to my husband, to have something done by a hired person either.

The frustration is driving me insane. I just feel angry. Angry that there isn't anything I can do, angry that I can't even bring in someone to do any work, angry that we are wasting a whole month, out of maybe only five months a year that are useful for outdoor work.

We have so much to do, and my husband nibbles away at it when he is home, but at this rate it will be another year before I can bring in anything from the sea can in the yard full of my art books and so on. My hope was to be able to bring everything in this summer, and get the sea can out of our yard finally. It really doesn't look like it's going to happen. Three years now, this stuff has been in storage.

I got angry at him over the phone, which is pretty pointless and just creates more bad feelings, but what the honest Hell am I supposed to do? Just keep living with no hope of using the addition and basement?

I feel like I spend half of my life being either angry, or tired from resignation.

I get to the point where it feels like nothing I do as far as our house has any effect on whether or not any work gets done on it.

I managed to get to the vet's office and pick up medication for Hollywood (she's on long-term meds for her arthritis) and the special urinary tract food for Jones.

Then I let everyone out into their respective pastures for a while.

I worked on tearing grass out of the garden.

Today I learned that the Empire State building has a spire on top meant to allow zeppelins and dirigibles to dock. Apparently the passengers were meant to exit the vessels via a gangplank. In reality, the winds experienced at those heights meant that mooring would not be practical, and any ushering of passengers absolute nonsense.

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/air-space-magazine/docking-on-the-empire-state-building-12525534/

Comments

[ratunderpaper]

Completely frustrating. Is there something tiny you can accomplish while you are on your own, like getting quotes or bringing home materials, or gardening, or even arranging pieces of things?

I have high hopes this is the year for you and spouse to get a lot done and start moving things inside. (But I look around me here and see what lack of progress is like - all too familiar.)

Three years is indeed a long time. I think some fellows can spend a lifetime noodling with projects, but your spouse does seem keen to get some things done.

[gottawonder]

There are always things I can be doing in the yard and the garden. None of those things make progress on the house. No, I asked if I could get quotes or order materials, and he says we aren't at a good point to hire help, and we have to have him home to get materials.

The only thing I can do, is to clean some floor boards. They are reclaimed, and there is some gunk on the parts that click together, so I can do that.

I do not have high hopes for much getting done this year, unless he starts to realize that we will have to hire more help. The last two summers, he had all kinds of built up holiday time (what they give him is extra days instead of paying him overtime), enough to take almost three month off each summer.

He won't be able to do that this summer, so he is only going to have his normal days off (ten days on, four days off). Four days may sound like a lot of time, and it COULD be, but he literally has only worked on the house for about four or five hours each time he's been coming home.

If I go see River on Friday, I come back and he's maybe done a little bit of work. Often it is "organizing" or picking up materials, or looking something up online. Not actual progress. Then often on Saturday we go to the city because we are human and need a fun day. Then he might have some bit of work done on Sunday that is something you can touch and see as progress, then Monday he won't do anything because he leaves to drive back to work at about 4 pm.

He wants to sleep late, and I get it, but he's used to getting up at 6 am for work, why does he need to go to bed at 10 pm and get up at noon?

I honestly feel like maybe what I need to do, is to get up at 8 am, and make his breakfast, and then just stand beside him and "help" him work.

[ratunderpaper]

Understood, all of it - but hometime progress is important to you more than it is to Sweetie. Can you do something on the house on one Saturday afternoon, then go for a meal out in the evening? Or fit purchasing some of the materials into a Saturday while you are out?

I thought I'd go bonkers staring at the chipped and neglected sunroom, where I spend so much time, but I completely understand (now) why the restoration was started and abandoned. I will have to ask for help putting in panelling, I think.

I get up late, too, but I'm drained and foggy unless I do.

[gottawonder]

I feel like he's decided that now that the house is livable, he can take his time with what's left.

The amount of work he did in the first summer was absolutely HEROIC. Unbelievable. We had to deal with the bank, buy the old house, get it moved here, tear down and haul away the old trailer, make the old house livable while it was on blocks by tying it into the power and a temporary septic tank and water system, DIG A GODDAMN BASEMENT, then build the frame and pour the concrete, THEN get the house moved onto the new basement and connect it again to power, water and sewer, AND have a new septic tank built, all in about five months. Granted, this was with the help of friends with heavy equipment, and hiring people to do some of it,like the permanent septic system, hired a guy to pour the concrete with a truck (still needed my husband and another guy to help). Still, he worked almost every day all day for months to get it livable by winter.

Since then we have still done a lot of work, but kind of sporadic. It has taken us the last two years to get the addition to where it is right now.

This past winter, almost nothing happened at all. Most of the progress was done by people we hired. I do not expect him to put in the effort of that first summer three years ago, but if he can't get motivated, I am thinking we could drag out what's left for several more years.

It does drive me crazy to stare at the chipped walls of the bathroom, and the unfinished addition, and the doors in the porch that are just stuck into broken holes in the wall.

Now that the house has reached a certain point of functionality, he feels no urgency. He did this in the old trailer too. He worked hard to reshingle the roof, and a few big, critical things, but never cared about things like baseboards, or how ugly the bathroom was. Anything that was more about aesthetics rather than pure function and I had to start fights to get it done.

We almost always pick up some materials or look for tools or do comparison shopping on our "fun" day in the city. It makes the most sense to be in the city for the afternoon, because everything we need to do or want to see is open then. Often I am shopping for things for the animals there, or art supplies, or we want to see the art museum. It is still a mix of things that I need, with things that are fun.

[ratunderpaper]

I'll keep my fingers crossed that on the next few days home, he'll be motivated to catch up on the time he missed. You may have to start poking holes in walls yourself to get him started.

That said, how hard can it be, here, to tape down newspaper and sand the repaired basement bawth ceiling from several months ago? I left this to work on the sunroom with hope and expectation that because it was an easy chore, it would be done quickly. Nothing's been done at all.

We didn't even get a new faucet to replace the cheap, chipped one.

[gottawonder]

It isn't realistic to think that he'll catch up with what we missed. He'll pick up where we left off.

[sherlockishere]

I'm so sorry for all the construction hassles! It sounds just maddening. I agree with Ratty-- maybe focusing on a small project you can complete, no matter how small, would help a bit....

[gottawonder]

I am always trying to focus on a small project I can complete. There is very little that I can do on the house. I can't install the floor, I can't build the bathroom downstairs, I can't install a door frame and door.

I do things like cutting the hedge, hauling away stuff to the dump, working in the garden.

[lantairvlea]

It took me a minute to register that sea can is what we call a shipping container or cargo container. At least I think they're the same thing!

I'm sorry house progress has been so slow. That would be super frustrating.

[gottawonder]

Yes, they are the same thing. It works very well as a storage unit in our yard, and it was a big help to keep our stuff there while we were in transition with housing.

Yes, the slow progress is frustrating. It is largely out of my control too.

[lantairvlea]

We have a small 20' long one at the property that I store the carts and carriages in among other things. They are quite useful!

Has the carpenter startes on the stair project yet?

[gottawonder]

Yes, the stairs got done.

I think the sea cans work really well for all kinds of yard storage. They are basically a shed.

[lantairvlea]

Hurra for progress somewhere!

They are excellent and super secure too.

[spatzenpost]

It must be so frustrating! I hope you can find a way to make progress there.